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Friendship

Hi_
Community Member

Hi,

I just needed someone to talk to, it’s not that I’m not happy with my life, I’m very happy and I have many people I can talk to. However the one thing that I can’t talk to anyone about is my best friend. We used to be so close since year 6 and had random midnight conversations that lasted hours. Unfortunately this changed after she got a boyfriend and she just never has time for me. I might sound like I’m just being mean but it’s not that, in the beginning when she started dating we used to talk so much and she would tell me everything, I would even talk to him a lot. But now I don’t know what has changed and she rarely ever talks to me. I miss the long conversations and the comfortable silences we shared. The reason I can’t tell anyone this is that my mum doesn’t know about her boyfriend and my friend doesn’t want me to tell her. All my other friends know but I can’t even share my feelings with them. And it’s not even that we haven’t tried sorting things out but whenever I try and talk to her, she says we never even talked that much why do you have a problem and she makes the excuse of not being able to talk due to her studies. But this doesn’t stop her from talking to her boyfriend and all our other friends. And after I convince her a lot she admits that she doesn’t talk to me that much but there’s nothing she does to change that. And her final excuse is always just ‘I’ve told you everything, why don’t you try and understand’. I know my problem doesn’t seem that big but it feels nice to be able to share it with someone.

3 Replies 3

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi,

Thanks for writing your first post and sharing your thoughts.

i am much o,der than you and I find friendships tricky st times. Sometimes when someone has. Girlfriend or biyfriend they have less time for their other friends even if they don’t intend to. A boyfriend may want your friend to spend more time with her. She maybe is getting to know her boyfriend and so things will change.

I can understand how puzzling your friends behaviour is to you.
I think if you wait she may change. Can you keep in touch via text or even write her a letter.

All problems need understanding. Thanks for sharing.

Hi_
Community Member
Thank you for replying to me, it means a lot. I understand your point but the fact is we go to the same school and it’s been 2 years since she started dating. In the beginning of her relationship she would share everything with me and now I’ve noticed that she’s started hiding so many things from me. I understand that her boyfriend also needs her time but if she and her boyfriend can take out time to talk to all my other friends I don’t understand why they have become so distant from me

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi, thanks for your post and to lose contact like it was once before, is definitely upsetting and from what I'm about to say I hope it doesn't distress you.

I know this may not be the situation and mean no harm, but there's an old saying 'two's company, three's a crowd' and appreciate that communication between you and girlfriend isn't the same as it was, but any discussion about the boyfriend your girlfriend may cause her to dwell on.

Best wishes.

Geoff.