feeling inspired by being surrounded by so many brave souls in here

[Hein]

newby alert!!

hi, this is my first post so i thought i best tell you all a little about myself... im 35 and have battled depression, anxiety and alcohol abuse since i was a teen. coming from a dysfunctional and abusive family with alcohol part of every day life and getting locked in the car while dad drinks in the pub was a norm.

i abused alcohol from a teen and my mental health started becoming a issue in my late teens.the lack of support from my family left me feeling isolated and alone, constantly being told when im doing wrong triggered my anxiety because i was always walking on eggshells and would lie about little thing just to try make my parents happy and maybe proud of me..... my first attempt to take my own life came at 19 and life seemed to spiral from there, drinking missing work getting fired was my life, i believed i was a no hoper and i behaved accordingly. i managed to get life together enough to hold jobs but booze would bring me unstuck every time, id spiral into a deep hole of depression and medicate with booze, it wasnt unusual for me to go on 2,3,4,7,9 day benders that would land me in hospital, my 2nd suicide attempt came when i was 32 and on a 7 day bender, telling my boss my pop had died(again)...... that was the real catalyst, i tried and tried to change my ways but booze was always stalking me. id tell myself when i was drunk "this is the last time, im going to make a change tomorrow" then say to myself "shut up idiot we both know you're talking crap!" rock bottom came when i went on another booze bender and lied to work, i lied to people who looked after me and the guilt and shame was horrible...... i drank myself stupid for 3 weeks....finally i got some real help, i booked myself into a psychiatric rehab for 3 weeks.. i got to the root of my drinking and found it was my childhood trauma and PTSD from childhood..... it was a rough time but im proud to sit here and say that i am 8 months sober and my headspace is a lot better. i saw there was light at the end of the tunnel. it is a little lonely at times because i had to drop friends but it beats the alternative

[Wishes]

Hey Hein!

You are so inspiring! That is one honest, uplifting story. Yes, you have faced the worst of it- But how amazing that you can come out the other side and be so genuine in showing others that there is always hope.

I hope to see you in other threads telling your story and giving advice to those facing your circumstances, so glad you made a positive change through rehab. My condolences for your loss over the years, you're one strong person.

And hey, it may get a little lonely, but with a new chapter comes new friends, a new life, and new experiences! Hoping for the best for you.

Best,
Wishes

[Ggrand]

Hello Hein..

We would like to warmly welcome you to the forums..

Thank you so much for sharing your story, You have struggled so much with alcohol and from your earlier trauma and PTSD...

I would love to congratulate you for being 8 months sober..I am so very proud of you..as I hope you are also proud of you..You have come a long way, been into the depth of despair and found that light and headed for it...I’m so very happy for you...

Your story is very inspirational and will help so many here on the forums...Thank you so much..I always love hearing a success story...

I hope to see you around the forums.,and please talk here anytime that you feel up it..

sending you my kindest thoughts with care..

Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Hein

welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story with such courage and incredible honesty.
your post will give hope to many people who will read your post but never comment,

your insight and self awareness will show others who to make sense of their problems.
quirky

[geoff]

Hello Hein, can we offer you a warm welcome to the forums.

People who have drunk alcohol either by need or just wanting to, do realise that 8 months sober is an effort you should be proud of because to miss a day or the selected time when you do start on a daily basis is much more than enormous,it's a gigantic effort.

If people who don't drink alcohol then perhaps it's like you not having your first cup of coffee or if you smoke, missing out on your first cigarette or having one straight after your meal, then maybe they can relate.

The friends you had to drop may have been entertaining and always had fun with, but the temptation to join them is too great, so the best option is not to socialise with them.

What you have achieved after what has happened during your childhood days is more than unbelievable, unimaginable beyond (sorry) belief.

Great to hear from you and please keep posting.

Geoff.

[therising]

Hi Hein

What an incredible journey of deep challenge and inspiring self discovery. Self discovery is definitely an ongoing journey.

It is my deepest most heartfelt wish that you continue to discover how naturally brave, determined and amazing you are in a variety of ways. May life gift you truly wonderful things and inspiring insight.

🙂