Does it end?
Not sure how to start this type of thing like “hey” or “hi” but, non the less,
g’day, I’m a 29 yr old male, father of two and have suffered with Anxiety/depression since I was 15. I’ve dealt with things pretty well up until the last 18 months or so, I find myself loosing my appetite, never tired, always angry and short fused. I hate people. Can’t stand leaving the house at the moment, and when I do need to leave I wind myself up the much I end up vomiting. I see a therapist regularly but I’ve noticed that my medications aren’t working they way they used too. I’m pushing my family away, and have taken a step back from my children. I’m scared that if I can’t change something, I’m going to snap.
There is no 'right' way to start a post here, the important thing is that you have done so, which is great. Plus you have given a pretty clear picture of how thngs are.
After having managed your anxiety and depression for so long it can be worrying - even frightening - when things start to change for the worse. You start to wonder where it will all end. Being unable to leave the house without being so keyed up you vomit, triggered to anger often, avoiding even those you love - and all the rest, are signs you are right. You current regimen of therapy and medication is not controlling things.
It's happened to me, more than once, and is not really surprising. Life changes, your reactions to it change, as do your reactions to treatments. Can you think of anything that happened around a couple of years ago that has made a big change, perhaps at work, health-related or a family matter?
Can I suggest you see the doctor who prescribes those meds in an extended appointment, and your therapist too, and explain in detail what is happening? It may be a case of adjusting dosages and approaches, it may be a case of other meds or help from a psychiatrist for a while. I do know in my own case once I did this and changes were made things improved a lot.
If you find going out to the doctor hard, or feel that in a face-to-face situation you might not give a clear account of how bad things are I'd suggest writing everything down over a couple of days -point form is fine. That gives you time to make adjustments and say everything you need, then hand over the paper in the consultation. It makes things easier for everyone, doctor included. Sometimes a partner can assist in the writing, depends how you feel about that.
If someone can take you to the medical center and wait for you that might be a help.
Things can get better, if they have for me I'm sure they can for you.
Please let us know what you think
its been some weeks now since I posted. Since your reply I have taken a few steps suggested by yourself and how to try and manage things, although I still have a long way to go, I have made some good choices in moving forward from the dark place I was. I still have bad days, but they seem to be spacing out more and more. Still lacking contact with a lot of my family but I hope that in time it will change too. I have lost a lot of friends and a relationship with what is going on with me and hopefully in time that can change too.
It is good to hear from you again. The fact you are starting to feel better is great. Sure it is an up and down process however if the ups are increasing you must be on the right track.
May I ask did you end up going to see if your medication and/or therapy should be altered? This was the most effective way for me as I mentioned.
If there is less anger and you can leave the house with less apprehension it makes a huge difference, both to the way you see yourself and also others.
Hopefully in time you will be able to build your relationships back up. It is surprising how many people. kids included, can make allowances for bad times and resume closeness.
Please continue to let us know how you get on
i has my medication changed, and made some adjustments with therapy and some anger management. I still get bad anxiety and i sometimes display that in anger... which frustrates the hell out of me but I’m still trying. Day by day.
I’ve also started to right things down like basically a diary, I’ve found it has helped in some way, not only for me but my partner who has struggled to deal with my emotions but still supports as much as she can. It got a lot worse at one point when I was admitted into a phsyc ward for evaluation. But I’m confident I’ve left that behind me. Atm I’m focused on my mental well-being and my children, and hopefully the rest will fall into place.
I think the diary idea is an excellent thing -for both of you. My partner did not really know what was in my head and my explanations were not good, so if it generates more understanding it is all good.
Often people - my partner was one, think either it is their fault or that the anger and resentment is directed at them, which is simply is not the case.
It has an additional benefit in that it lets your medical team have an accurate picture of what is happening over time.
Don't worry about going into hospital to be assessed, it is common, I've been there, and it generally makes treatment more specific and better as a result.
I hope to hear from you again.