Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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G'day everyone

replies: 6

Hey there. I'm Doberman38. Despite my name, I'm actually more of a cat person and have a bit of a dog phobia (I love dogs, but my brain doesn't want to let me, ugh), but I find dobermans quite interesting and a bit similar to me personality-wise. I also love animals in general, so I had to chose one of course! I've had major anxiety problems all my life and despite treatment it's still a real struggle. The craziness of the last two years has made me fall back on old fears and habits and I feel like I need a really supportive place right now. I am very willing to listen to advice and offer some to those who need it as well. I'm sure my time here will be very worthwhile. Cheers, Doberman.

Intro

replies: 6

Hi, First time poster here. Actually, I only signed up today so kinda thought I'd keep the ball rolling and jump into the deep end. I'm really not sure what to say so I guess I'll just start with a quick run down... 4 years ago, I flew back home to new Zealand where I looked after my Nana who was sick with my mum. It was such a difficult time. Nana was in her 80's and always so independent. A member of the badminton club, knitting club, volunteering at hospice and now she has difficulty getting out of bed, walking, you know, just doing your normal everyday things. She was in and out of hospital, having daily home visits by nurses etc Mum and I were away from everything familiar back in Oz. After about 4 months, I had to fly back as my daughter was turning 18. It was bitter-sweet leaving but I couldn't miss my girls birthday. After those months of sleepless nights, stress, feeling homesick, I let my hair down and celebrated my own birthday. I've always been the type who was never scared to be experimental, so this weekend was no different. Little did I know how much my life would change by making this choice. Amongst the cocktail of drugs I used, I tried meth. From that night on, I was hooked. As a result of that, my marriage suffered to the point that we separated after being together for 15 years. In the time we have been separated, my ex husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 colarectal cancer. The cancer hasn't responded to chemo and now it has metastasised and spread to most of his major organs and now reached his bones. We've been told by the specialist that he has 6-12 months if treated. The radiotherapy is pretty much to pro long his life and perhaps ease the pain a little. I'm not dealing well with this news. I've fallen off the wagon. I've tried giving up but I'm addicted. I don't have the tools I need to kick this habit. I have since had a baby who's 18 months old. He has given me focus, and a reason to live but I need help and I'm ready to ask for it.

What do all the badges mean?

replies: 14

Hi everyone, If you're new to the forums, you'll notice that some members posting have badges. We have a directory below so you can see what they all mean, and how you might go about obtaining one. We have badges for a number of reasons: * To identify Beyond Blue staff members, volunteers and contributors * To identify any health professionals who post * To reward and recognise members who have gone above and beyond to provide peer support for others Please let us know your thoughts on community badges in this thread, including ideas for new badges, any questions you may have, and any improvements we can make. Community champion - Members who have volunteered their time formally to support others on the forums. You can find out more about becoming a community champion here. Valued contributor - Members recognised by the community for their outstanding and consistent support of others through quality posts. Find out how you can nominate someone for a valued contributor award here. Life member - Awarded by Beyond Blue to members who have been volunteering for our community champion programme for 3 years or more. Multicultural correspondent - Members who have volunteered to share their experiences formally and on a regular basis in our Multicultural Experiences section. You can find out more about becoming a Multicultural Correspondent here. Champion alumni - Community champions who are not currently active on the forums, or have retired from volunteering. Health professional - Health professionals posting on the forums at the request of Beyond Blue. Currently, Coach Craig is our resident health professional and you can find out more about Coach Craig here. Blue Voices member - blueVoices is Beyond Blue's reference group for people who have personal experience of anxiety, depression or suicide, or support someone who does. blueVoices is open to anyone over the age of 16 in Australia with this experience. Mentor - Masters of Psychology student on placement. *We are not currently facilitating placements. Beyond Blue staff - Paid employees of Beyond Blue. Community manager / community moderator - Paid employees of Beyond Blue who manage the online forums. You can get in touch with the moderation team offline by email.

Hello everybody

replies: 4

This is my first time here I have been suffering in silence for the last 12 month, but the other day it all just got 2 much gor me to handle, I was in the shower cleaning it and I couldn't even do that I just burst into tears for the last 12 months or so I have6 felt like I couldn't do anything or go anywhere. I had to force myself to have a shower and getout of the house was just so tired, i wasn't sleeping very well was tired all the time. I am crying at drop of a hat. Sometimes I feel everyone would be better off without me being here. I have no one to talk to, when the house started to become messy I was told I was just being lazy but I wasn't I physicallycouldn't do it and when they went away I burst into tears again and just agreed with them as it was easier. I just feel like I am being smothered can't breathe and cant move, I just don't really know what's wrong with me. I feel like I am going mad this is effecting all aspectd of my life now can anyone help me please I feel scared dont know what's happening to me. Sorry for rambling on.

Newbie with anxiety & depression wanting to vent. Feeling alone after watching my wife pass away last year.

replies: 5

Hi everyone I'm not sure what I'm doing on here, or if I'm posting in the right place. I turned 50 yesterday & my wife of 20 years passed away in July last year. We did almost everything together & now I'm feeling literally lost. I already suffered from some anxiety & occasionally depression which has been made worse by my grief. I'm safe & not thinking of doing anything harmful but sometimes I'm not in the best place mentally. I don't have many friends & I'm finding it hard to get out there and make new ones with my anxiety. Even talking to most of my workmates has been hard. I'm trying not to isolate & make things worse but it's been tough. I recently tried having a holiday away for a few days but my anxiety levels went through the roof being so far out of my comfort zone. I thought taking baby steps would be good for me but I kind of feel worse, maybe they weren't baby steps after all...lol. I tried making an appointment with my regular GP to see about getting counselling or medication to help but she's on maternity leave & I don't feel comfortable talking to a new doctor I've never met. I really wish I had someone go with me for moral support but that's not an option. I feel more comfortable not doing face to face or over the phone, I'd rather do a webchat or something similar if that was an option. Maybe I just need to suck it up and do it. Anyway, I don't really have any specific questions that I can think of at the moment, just needing to get this off my chest. Although any suggestions that people use to get help, or to make new friends, without driving up the anxiety levels would be good. Thanks.

I just need to talk

replies: 24

I just have knowone to talk to

Poetry is what helps to express my feelings

replies: 3

I write 1-2 poems a day It helps me when I feel dismay It clears the cobwebs, clarifies The head chatter, it simplifies The thought processes in my head Which overwhelm, fill me with dread When poems are penned, I feel at peace And in my heart, I fee... View more

My Best Friend Lost Her Husband Now She’s Pushing Me Away

replies: 2

Nearly 2 years ago my best friend lost her husband in an accident. Leaving her with two young kids and a farm to run. As expected life has been hard for her since but she is incredibly stoic and has managed the best she can. She is my best friend of 20 years so of course I have stepped up and been there as best I know how since. I am an empathetic person and take pride in usually knowing how to show up for people who need support and until recently felt I was doing well in supporting my friend but circumstances have changed and as a result I feel she is pushing me away. Last year during the first 12 months of loss she had me, her older brother and sister in law who were all single and had struggles of our own. I think she felt less lonely in knowing she wasn’t the only person without a significant other and that we all had “stuff”. We were like a bunch of misfits there for each other. Late last year her brother and I started dating after realising there had been feelings there for a long time. Mainly I feel as result of spending so much time together supporting my friend/his sister. Her sister in law also met someone and so we, her bunch of misfit support people are all in happy relationships and she has had to continue on without her person. I can only imagine how lonely this must feel and that there is potentially some unintentional resentment attached to this. However she is still very affectionate and loving toward her brother and sister in law while I feel like I’m being pushed away and given the cold shoulder. I have always felt a part of the family and that my help/support was appreciated and that she knew she could rely on me. But the last 6 months or so I feel like I’ve been shut out. I understand all the aspects of why she may be acting this way toward me. What I would like is some advice on how to best support her through this change in her world. I try to help out as much as possible and be there just as her normal friend but I feel the harder I try the more she pushes me away. It’s heartbreaking for everyone and I just wish I knew what to do/say or not do/say to help things run their course in the least stressful way possible. I want her to know I'm always going to be there as her best friend without being suffocating. I know what she’s going through is 100 times harder than anything I'm feeling, but some days it’s really hard being the people closest as we are often the ones who are the proverbial punching bag of her pain. How do I help?

Anxiety

replies: 3

Hi I’m new here. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been having issues with anxiety. My family has been nervous to go into supermarkets because most covid cases happen at coles and Woolworths. So we all agreed to do click and collect orders instead of going inside supermarkets. For the past few weeks I haven’t been motivated to order groceries for myself. I’ve only been ordering food for my family and sometimes I can’t be motivated to eat anything. At night I wake up around 12am and 2am if I forget to do the dishes because I feel guilty if I forget the dishes. My boyfriend has been worried about me. The other day I watched a comedy show with him called mrs browns boys and he was concerned because I wasn’t laughing at the funny scenes. ps I have been diagnosed with anxiety and white coat syndrome

Hi Everyone

replies: 5

Starting here 'from scratch' ie setting up my profile and information. So here's a short intro. Have been in business as sole trader for 6 years (the years before that are 'history' Survived the Covid crisis in 2020 only to lose my beautiful Mum in Oct after a tumultuous year with her health and my own Came back in 2021 still in the throws of grief and a struggling business. We are implementing a succession plan and a little bit of pivoting to strengthen our business however for various reasons we are not growing beyond break even (and sometimes less) Very thankful for Covid19 resources and funding and suspect the Beyond Blue resources will also be right where I need them at this stage of 'almost giving up' on my vision/s. I continue to reflect and use my support networks but sometimes it's nice to be anonymous and 'say it how it is' especially when on the downslide. Look forward to using these forums, hopefully for a mutually supportive experience. Take care everyone

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

G'day everyone replies: 6

Intro replies: 6

What do all the badges mean? replies: 14

Hello everybody replies: 4

Newbie with anxiety & depression wanting to vent. Feeling alone after watching my wife pass away last year. replies: 5

I just need to talk replies: 24

Poetry is what helps to express my feelings replies: 3

My Best Friend Lost Her Husband Now She’s Pushing Me Away replies: 2

Anxiety replies: 3

Hi Everyone replies: 5