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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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So overwhelmed

replies: 4

Hi, I'm overwhelmed all the time. I work 50+ hours a week and own part of the business I work for. It's a busy, high stress environment with 20+ employees and my office often feels like an airport with a million people flying in and out all day. My husband also works similar hours in a management role. We have a 3 year old. We both have hoarding tendencies, mine are worse. I feel like every minute of every day, the purpose of my life is to do chores/work for someone else. I have been trying to exercise more regularly to see if that will help with my mental health. After about 6 months of exercising 4-6 times a week I've seen no change in my physical state which is deflating, it's fractionally helped my mental health. I read all the articles etc about overwhelm and how to overcome it and I do all the things. I get up early, I make lists, I manage my time, I prioritise. I feel like i know how to do this thing called life, on paper, but still it always feels like I'm just treading water and barely surviving. Before we had our daughter we would renovate our house. Every weekend would be spent progressively making our lives better. Now, the house is falling apart around us and we barely have time to mow the lawn or throw the washing on. Our gutters desperately need replacing, the house is full of dust. We have entire rooms that we can't use because we've put stuff in there to "deal with later" but later never comes. Our garage is overflowing with junk, we literally have pathways through some of the rooms in our house. I used to be a very creative person, I sew, I make cards, I do all sorts of crafty things but I no longer get the time. I have an entire craft room, which i know I'm very lucky to have, but presently it's full of half done projects, stuff everywhere, looks like a bomb has hit it. Every weekend is spent with one of us keeping our daughter occupied (and that's hard, she's not easily occupied) while the other does chores. I wake up, I exercise, I go to work for 11hours, I cook dinner, clean up, bath kid, story, 20mins of TV or book and then go to bed. Every day. I have very little joy, and I feel like it's not because I'm depressed, it's because I don't even have time to do the bare minimum for my work and my family, let alone make progress on the clutter or have any sort of alone/happy time for myself. I'm exhausted and feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. I would love to have someone to call when i feel like this but I don't. : (

Some advice

replies: 2

Hi, I am a single 28 year old male . I need some advice with moving forward. I don't like counsellors, its like talking to family and friends, I feel completely detached and sometimes they make it worse. I haven't been diagnosed with anything. I am a lonely person. I have tried to be less lonely but it doesn't happen. I have distant friends who I hear from but never hang out with. When we do there is very little connection. It's me. I struggle to start any more chats and I can't keep talking about my issues. No one wants to hear it. I don't have any self respect. I have cancer and I couldn't care less. I have no self worth or identity. I want someone to find value in me. That won't never going to happen. I probably do have value but I'm blind to it. I work as a professional but I come home and feel empty. Its not a permanent job and that's out of choice. Yep I have choice in the matter. I don't sacrifice my life for work. I also have no life. I have tried the lonely way of life, doing things for myself and with myself and it was (or I am) dull. I tried committing to a job or way of life, and it bores me. I just find myself turning to vices ( I have no real vices at the moment but I can see why people want to soothe/dull the significant suffering). I've tried travelling for months on end and I get bored. Sometimes, I feel I am just waiting for death. Every time I try to be alive it cycles around to this same feeling I have posting here. Emptiness. I am giving up. Just going home every day, a vague hope that something would consume me. Nothing positive and nothing negative. Just is. Yet it tends to sway to this mood. It strikes me odd that I wanted so much as a child with so much hope, ambition and resilience that now I can't move past anything. I would blame society but I just can't be bothered. It's me. I try to rekindle that hope in an activity. It fizzles out. I'm always stuck. The same cycle. Does anyone have any steps (small incremental steps) to helping me gain some direction, self-discipline, self-respect and self-worth? Breaking a cycle (step-by-step)? How do I find that direction in life? Just small slow steps, even small tasks or activities, to get better at this. Advice to see a counsellor would be ineffective - I have tried that avenue and didn't find it helpful. I just want to listen and be open to your advice on small incremental steps (and life advice). I have no expectation and cannot be disappointed by your response. Thanks for reading.

Not really sure where to start

replies: 2

Feeling really lost with everything really. Feel like I’m letting everyone down all the time(at work and in life) im struggling with work in a job role I don’t think I’m capable of and feel like there is so much pressure on me (have a great team) but struggle to ask for help or even to say I’m struggling. Feel like I shouldn’t be struggling everybody else can do their job but feel like I just spend most of my time questioning myself or find it hard to make any kind of decision (decisions are big part of the role) so afraid that I’m going to fail and disappoint everyone. Have tried a little bit to tell people I’m struggling but when asked why I feel like It’s all just silly reasons. Spend a lot of time doing head miles on work things. I’m exhausted all the time which then makes me feel like I’m letting my dog down (too tired and working long hours to walk him) struggle to remember or make time to do things with others cause I just want to chill out and not use my brain. End up spending most of my time alone on the weekend because I’m tired, which then makes me feel lonely. We I do spend time with friend and drink I usually end up getting really drunk. Feel happy and carefree when drunk and much more confident then when sober. Then pretty much end up hating myself for getting drunk which then again leads me to shutting the world out. never been one to talk about feelings or ask for help and I don’t even know where to start. Feel silly for feeling like this as I know people have things a lot harder. before I got my new job I felt a little more in control of life there wasn’t as much pressure and I had more time to prioritise life outside of work. I have been on medication for a while but only a few friends know and I haven’t told my family or work. Not really sure where to start as they see me as happy go lucky (family) and I feel like people at work think I’m more capable then I feel in the role. what’s the best why you go about talking to people about this kind of stuff (work especially) as I’m not sure how much longer I can keep feeling like this

At such a loss

replies: 3

Firstly Thank you for taking the time out to read. 18months ago my family moved from an area whichbi had been for 15years. I had built a successful business and made many wonderful friends. The move was so that my husband could be closer to work. I have since fallen into a depression which is scary. I have such resentment and am not f financially in a position to do much about it. I feel isolated and trapped and just dont know what to do. I have just started on HRT for menopause as well. I have a teenager at home still and am doing my best but feel like I'm failing. No energy. Just sad all the time. I want to run but have no idea where to go.

In rut situation for long time

replies: 2

Hello all, almost 10 years of doing nothing, almost a middle age man and nearly losing my mind.

New on it

replies: 5

Hi everyone ... I’m new in this forum .. I’m 31years old girl from Italy .. arrived here 5 years ago .. permanent home new home owner ... nothing to worry about (everyone think) here my story. I live with my partner we supposed to get married the 4th of January... but things went wrong ... let me explain better ... move in in to the new house .. our car decided to leave us .. I lost my job and struggle to find something else ... things with my partner are not the great one in this moment he blame me for everything it’s my fault if the car get broke it’s my fault for the job ... and he yell at me most of the time .. it’s been a year Since our last intimate relationship... I feel like I’m not enough I’m not good enough for everything.. I can’t sleep eat I’m loosing weight and I can’t stop cry ... I lost interest in everything..: I just want to cry .. I don’t know if I’m in a depression mood I don’t have a lot of friends and most of the time I feel lonely, my partner it’s not helpful and my parent are overseas and I don’t want worried then ; (they already have they’re own problems) I can write a poem a book about all my life ... but I don’t know what should I do ty for your time

Reaching out

replies: 3

Today I have reached out to Beyond Blue and that has made me feel a little better. I suffer severe depression, I am a lady of 72 years of age and sometimes I feel I can't go on. My trigger this time has been family matters and I hate it, I reach out ... View more

Life is hard right now

replies: 5

So......new to the forum and needing to share. Although I think it would take almost writing a novel to share everything I’m feeling right now. my life feels like a mess. I’ve suffered from depression most of my life and just when I think it’s under control. Bam....it blows up again, always over the little things. I'm struggling at work to keep my emotions in check after what I logically know is a not a major issue, but is still unresolved with HR and probably won’t get sorted at all cause it’s so low on their priority list and I feel like my family wouldn’t even miss me if I were gone. In fact my husband’s telling me “he can’t do this anymore” and suggested we have time apart. What am I supposed to do with that? I’ve never been a person who makes friends easy and when I have, they’ve always betrayed me on some level or another. So for me to trust someone with my issues is just never going to happen. I’ve been hurt way too many times. I know that’s sad, but it’s the truth. And because of that it’s makes having depression even harder. I feel stuck and out of control all at the same time. Ive tried meds and psychs and other stuff, but it’s not for me. I’ve always leaned on my amazing husband who I feel like I’m even pushing him away now he’s said he wants time........something has got to give. I want to know how do I change this around. I want to be better. I want to be happy.

New and facing my fears

replies: 3

I'm in my 40's and have lived my whole life with anxiety and worry. It's made it so I couldn't drive a car. It made it so I stayed in a marriage where my husband was seeing other women. It made me eat away the pain til my clothes stopped fitting. But one day it dawned on me that things had to change. I started walking every day, eating less, skipping the fatty foods and focused on my health. I got strong enough to say enough is enough and left my husband. But now I'm living with my parents and my son lives with his dad and my mother has a failing heart. I'm also in a long distance relationship, facing a huge move and learning to drive. I've added so many more worries. Sometimes I don't know how to keep juggling everything and let people down. I stress about my relationships so much, but fear talking about them because I'm scared I'll end up alone. I don't do so well alone. I try to stay optimistic but it's hard when I'm drowning in other peoples negative.

Partners who work away

replies: 4

I’m just wondering what people do to help make things easier when their partners are away? My partner works away for about 8 months of the year and has done for a few years. The last year I feel like I get to almost breaking point and crying so easily and getting angry that he is never here especially when things go wrong and I have no one to assure me everything is going to be ok. I can’t talk to friends or family as they don’t understand and they just say oh I did it once (and when I ask about it, it’s often that their partner worked away for a month and that’s it, hardly the same!). I just wish I had more understanding instead of people trying to make it seem like nothing. I honestly think I do pretty well but when I do have my moments and to hear people downplay it makes my feelings feel unjustified and not normal. Be interested to see if others find the same and how they get the understanding and help they need to stay strong while our men are just doing it to help us in the future.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

So overwhelmed replies: 4

Some advice replies: 2

Not really sure where to start replies: 2

At such a loss replies: 3

In rut situation for long time replies: 2

New on it replies: 5

Reaching out replies: 3

Life is hard right now replies: 5

New and facing my fears replies: 3

Partners who work away replies: 4