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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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A reluctant hello

replies: 2

Hello friendly people I guess I'm just feeling down. I'm a 28-year-old female. It's kind of hard to focus on anything that isn't driven by my depression or anxiety at the moment. I'm back on anti-depressants which just make me feel nothing. I'm on the other side of the world away from my husband and the life that I want to be living. Getting up every day is getting more and more difficult since I'm not working - I have nothing to do. I can't even get out and do things if I wanted to since I'm in lockdown. I'm just struggling to find the motivation to do anything. I'm trying, but it's hard. Corona Virus has impacted so much of everything. So much of my life and what was supposed to happen this year. I feel selfish for complaining. I don't like attention and I know that I don't have it as bad as some people but things aren't great right now. I really don't know why I'm posting this or what I'm hoping to get out of this, I just need to get this off my chest and talk to some people who are also finding it difficult right now so I know that I'm not the only one. It's pretty unlike me to draw attention to myself or be this open but maybe this is what I need.

Hi, I'm a newbie with lifelong GAD and depression

replies: 7

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum. I've been reading posts on here for a long time but haven't been game enough to register. It makes me sad to think so many people are struggling with mental health issues, but I hope everyone is managing somehow. I think I've had GAD and depression as long as I can remember. I can't remember ever being carefree and relaxed. My mental health issues seem to get progressively worse as I get older. I tried medication, counselling and psychologists several times in my twenties, but did not see any improvement. I tried to cope on my own throughout my thirties, but one major life event after another happened and I progressively deteriorated until I broke down. I started seeing a clinical psychologist at the time. I've had mental healthcare plans to help with the cost, but I'm finding 10 subsidised sessions per year is not enough to see any real improvement. I tend to have so much to discuss that I end up talking for most of the appointment, so there is very little time to really get into things. I don't think CBT or ACT are helping me at all. I know how to look at stuff from a more rational point of view, I know I can't control everything and have to accept some things and that I can only control how I react. But knowing it is not enough. My anxiety is so strong a few positive thoughts aren't going to make me feel better. Mindfulness and yoga drives me crazy too. I just can't get into either. I went back on medication. It took about 6 months to settle down and, while I don't seem to have proper panic attacks anymore, I am still very anxious and worry all the time. I've also had insomnia for years so I always feel exhausted. I live by myself and don't have family in this country. I work fulltime but spend most of my free time alone, including long weekends, birthdays and Christmas. I used to be more social but I started dreading catching up with people. It felt like a huge effort and I felt like there was no point catching up because the conversations were totally pointless and meaningless and the others just seemed to talk about themselves all the time. I wish I could be more easygoing and not worry so much. Izzie

Hello world

replies: 1

Hi, I'm a year 12 student turning 18 pretty soon and have struggled with mental health issues my entire life Great first liner for an introduction, I know, but unfortunately it's the truth. I've struggled a lot with finding people to relate to around my age due to the condition I have among other things. I have the pleasure of having the condition CAIS (complete androgen insensitivity syndrome) which means, in the most basic terms, that I am a female who was born without a uterus. That means that I am characterised as being 'Intersex'. it's a fun lil thing to be in certain situations, like when someone tells you that there are only 'two sexes' when arguing about something completely different, being gender. other than roasting people who say gender and sex are the same things, there aren't many ups. I've never met someone my age that has my condition, or even who is intersex. Even if I did meet another person who was, I'm scared I won't have the same interests as them and then being intersex is all that I would talk about to them. this feeling of overwhelmingly being alone has led to my passive suicidal behaviour as I've been told. I'm getting better now as my antidepressants begin to slowly work more and more but I clearly remember points in my life where I didn't care if I lived or died but wasn't actively seeking to die. I'm sad that it's gotten to this point, honestly, I am. I spent all my younger teen years helping my friends with their body image issues, their ED's, feeling alone and now that I'm nearly 18... well... I look back and I realise I didn't have many people to talk to myself. there weren't many people who understood the condition. there aren't many medical professionals who know about the condition either. Gynecologist side it's fine, but there aren't any psychologists in my city who know or are familiarised with the condition. I don't even know why I'm writing this, to be honest with you. I started off my last year of school with the hope that things would get better but I know that wishing or just wanting it isn't enough. I need to actually do something to help myself to get better but lack the motivation to try because it's never worked out in the past. for my final graphic design piece this year, I made an artwork depicting a male figure drowning underwater, laying on his back as if he's made impact with the water and gone unconscious. his hand is reaching out to his phone in desperation. I guess this is my way of doing the same.

Monthly Forums Update: Reflecting Back on August

replies: 1

Hello Everyone, We recognise the immense impact the coronavirus pandemic continues to have on one’s daily life. We are here to remind you that the forums community is available to talk things through and Beyond Blue’s Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service provides simple, practical information that’s reliable and relevant to help everyone to cope and stay well. We encourage everyone to seek support if they feel they need it. Our mental health professionals are available 24/7 at the Beyond Blue Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service on 1800 512 348. Community Voices: What are people talking about? Managing Trauma (please be mindful that the below threads include experiences of abuse) My name is Zoe and I am a long term survivor of cPTSD, anxiety, depression and OCD. Lately I have been struggling a great deal with my anger, particularly anger attacks and outbursts of rage. I have a couple of tools I have been given from therapy but I feel like I need more tools. - Zoe-PTSD,OCD,MDD,GAD (Read more here) I’m definitely scared about unlocking memories but I also feel positive about it and keep telling myself it will be worth it. My psych has always said I have amazing insight, I’m very resilient and I’m a glass half full kind of person even when I’m feeling down ...and I think that has really helped give me the confidence to look at things from a different angle and realise I can do this - Anzee (Read more here) Recalling trauma from childhood can come as a shock and be overwhelming and devastating, especially when it involves a person you trusted. Talking to your relative and telling them that you remember may be something that could help both of you come to terms with what has happened. If you're not ready to confront your mother, it's okay to avoid doing that. The things you do should help you heal - you're not compelled to do anything that you don't wish to do. - Emmen (read more here) Coping Strategies I've found the idea by Stephen Covey of drawing a circle on paper & writing ALL the things that are WITHIN our influence / control inside that circle and those outside our control on the outside of that circle VERY helpful over the past few decades. – ecomama (Read more here ) Going to meet someone for the first time who you are hoping to share some of your closest stories with is a big thing. Sometimes getting to know each other can take a few sessions and this is common. As ecomama has mentioned, sometimes it is good to go in with a list of your own goals. For example, it could be to gain diagnostic clarity, or learn skills to manage symptoms, or improve certain symptoms ie. reduce my worry around ___, become more confident at ___, or feel less stressed when I attend ___,... etc. etc... Sometimes writing these things down can help as when many people attend appointments particularly with new health practitioners, it is normal to forgot things (this happens to me all the time). Another thing that can help is to keep a daily symptom diary leading up to the first appointment. ie. Each day, write down your mood, what worries you had, what were the triggers etc. This can sometimes help when you see your psychologist and they can see how you have been day to day in one snap shot. - Nurse Jenn (Read more here) A lot of the time we tend to focus on the critical voice inside which might be telling us why we're not so great. But there's a voice of self kindness in there too, even if it's hard to find sometimes.I am going to try and make it to 10 good qualities, even if it takes me a little while, and I'd love for you to join in. - quince (Read more here) Living on my own during the coronavirus pandemic I live alone in an apartment, and the Groundhog Day existence of working from home all day with the only highlights being a walk/cycle and a trip to the grocery store is getting to me. I can't fathom living like this for another year. Anyone else feel the same? - DeepBlue1771 (Read more here) I find living alone a bit intense during this time, so much is worse because of this, so much is harder, and it also feels like my loneliness is on display. I get much less regular contact and communication then people living together or with families... – Sleepy21 (Read more here) I'm currently in lockdown in Vic. I've lived with depression (and anxiety when things get bad) most of my life. It's been a tough year and I've had some really really low points, but I think I'm doing ok, considering. I meditate, try to move and try to make sure I reach out to people (I live alone). Even on 'good' days though, my dreams are terrible. I've always tended to bad dreams (it's often a first sign of depression getting bad). I started keeping a dream journal just to figure out why I wake up feeling awful and I've realised this is happening every night right now. - kelpie5 (Read more here) Valued Contributor Award Our Valued Contributor for the month of August is Aphador! Aphador has been nominated for their continued support across the forums, often providing a fresh and positive perspective when it comes to sharing support options and strategies to stay well. Thank you for being open about your own mental health journey while supporting others! To read more about what a Valued Contributor is and how you can nominate a fellow community member, please refer to our thread Nominate a Valued Contributor here . BB News Check out BB’s new landing page on Beyond Blue’s Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service – Financial and mental wellbeing . The following four pieces can be found on this page: Hand-in-hand: financial wellbeing and mental health Financial counselling explained (and how it can help) Living with financial stress – Michelle’s story Financial hardship and mental health: messages of support from the community Other new content includes: Reconnecting with your teenager during lockdown – Samantha’s story Focus on forums: Finding comfort during unsettling times

Guilty Dad

replies: 2

i am a father of two, and husband to my wife of 15 years. 2 years ago i confessed that i had been cheating on her with sex workers for nearly my entire life we have known each other, 25 yrs.. My wife has been very strong, and even though we have not been intinate for 2 years as a result of the confession, she has somewhat forgiven me... I was always an up and down person, but this confession has made the troughs really deep.. to suicide levels... i reflect on the different aspects on my life and aside from football coaching and my new covid puppy i feel worthless.... and my stresses are causing anxiety, i have not been able.to get out of bed at times... At work, i have a senior.role in a family business.. that i took up cause i failed at uni...and it was a co.fort, albeit i dispose the industry i work in... i have done so for.20 yrs... My parenting is enjoyable.with the kids... but i set too hard exlectations on them at times, and they can be a chllenge at times, my daughter has a mild adhd, for whatever that means.. i feel cause anxiety to my kids over being too reactive... at times.an emltional.robot.. I love cooking for the family Working from home, alone is complex.too.as i am runing from my managerial responsibilities, and i clash withe staff and clients and fall behind with my tasks... i feel their is resentment towards me i have been in the business fot 20 yrs mind you and i just want to leave, but the boss my mother passively and agressively makes me stay in her own way.. Sometimes i feel i just want do sleep.and not get up. i ask my wife maybe to leave me, but she never takes me.seriously on that, as i dont takeme seriously.. I always moop and mon about things and really begin to hate myself... thats why ending it all.sends so attractive.. but i dont have the balls.to even try...

Overwhelmed

replies: 7

Hi everyone, I'm hoping that putting my thoughts down I may be able to understand what is going on with me. I have a good marriage, loving children and grandchildren and no money worries and my health is good (except for being overweight). AND YET I always feel sad and worried. Don't want to socialise, don't even want to get dressed most days. I am on medication which helps but not enough. I didn't have a particularly happy childhood and since losing both parents last year seem to be going downhill. I basically just want to hide. Corona is not helping as I can't see my interstate family. Don't want to go to my doctor, or exercise or eat well - just want to hide in the wardrobe.

My Story

replies: 2

Right now I'm exhausted. I'm so very, very tired. My mind, my body, my soul. I'm always frustrated and anxious, nervous to talk to people, easily stressed by the thought of even being in a conversation with people. My forehead is in a constant state of crease; confused, frustrated, angry. And never have I ever felt so demotivated, uninspired, and ultimately inadequate. I can't achieve, or rather I won't achieve. I know what I need to do to get better and feel better but I cant even convince myself to do it. I smoke cigarettes, I smoke weed, I've drank at least a litre of Coca Cola every day for the last 15 years, and I eat junk food like McDonalds at least twice a day. I usually maintain myself fairly well, and it's not immediately obvious but I certainly hate the way I feel all the time, and smell all the time, and even taste all the time. I smoke a cigarette and it tastes filthy and makes me cough and splutter, but I still go in for another drag, and another drag, and another drag... I eat a Big Mac and I feel like I've swallowed trash, and it's just sitting in my stomach... And yet, I buy another one... and another one. Sometimes I don't even eat it. Sometimes I buy it, I pull it out of the container, immediately lose my appetite and then just put it back in the bag and it sits in my car and makes the car smell like old Big Mac... and I work in my car. And then there is the wasted money. Thousands and thousands of dollars just thrown away because of drug use, because of laziness, because of just plain old silliness. Just gone. For what? For junk. So much junk. And yet... another one. So, why. WHY. Do I always go back... and why is it so hard to break the cycle?? Because now my brain is back to thinking about how exhausted I am, and how tired my brain is. I know that I can do better and be better because I've been there. Honestly, it's always been hard to be happy, and I've always expended a lot of energy trying to achieve normality, but now it's gotten the better of me and my candle is well and truly burned. Thankfully, I don't want to hurt myself or anything like that. But I just wanna have life again. And I really wanna not be an addict.

Just signed up today

replies: 3

Hey beyond blue community, this is my first time posting. I have never really known how to deal with my problems other than by bottling them up and consistently over thinking, over stressing and getting negative and down grading thoughts about myself like I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not adventurous enough, not outgoing enough, I haven't achieved enough, I rush into things to quickly, I feel too much or not enough. I feel disconnected, lost, unmotivated and like I am a hundred thousand miles away from who I used to be or who I wanted to be. I have struggled in primary and high school education and I was bullied through both. My father worked in different states my whole life and when he was around it was always "why aren't you more girly?" "why aren't you like this or that?" (I have recently started trying to build a relationship with my father but he still feels like a stranger.) My mother always had her hands full with my older brother who is 2 years older than me and has autism and adhd. My mother and I have never had a close relationship even though we always tried. I always tried so hard in school, on birthdays, with housework and our animals to get her attention for longer than a minute but I was always made to feel like it wasn't good enough or I wasn't doing it right. (She still makes me feel this way.) My brother and I were close when we are younger. I helped look after him but as we grew up, he stayed in his bedroom playing games on whatever console was best at the time and we grew apart. I look at him now, 26 years old still at home, hasn't had a job since year 9 work experience and I worry about him, about the kind of life he is having or will have when mum isn't around to care for him but he refuses any help or suggestions. (He is more than capable of working and living outside of his 4 walls) I hardly had decent friends who had my back or who didn't constantly take from me without giving back so I learnt to keep to myself. I started seeking validation, love and everything I was lacking from my family and friends in toxic relationships with toxic guys. I slowly started changing to suit their wants and needs, doing everything for them and nothing for myself. I have lost my identity or never really developed one to begin with, I sometimes feel like I just need someone to listen, to tell me a different side or just to understand me. I feel like an empty shell with nothing but pain and my past floating around, always pleasing others.

New

replies: 4

Hi. I’m a newbie & happy to now be part of the Beyond Blue community. Heightened anxiety about covid has led me here. During decades of managing depression I know that having a support team, not going solo, plays such an important part in my getting ... View more

This is me

replies: 1

Hi Everyone Im an older mature woman, who lives with chronic depression I’m in NSW and a passionate animal lover. Also a gramma with two beautiful grandchildren. Thought I might be able to support some here with the strategies I use to help manage my... View more

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

A reluctant hello replies: 2

Hi, I'm a newbie with lifelong GAD and depression replies: 7

Hello world replies: 1

Monthly Forums Update: Reflecting Back on August replies: 1

Guilty Dad replies: 2

Overwhelmed replies: 7

My Story replies: 2

Just signed up today replies: 3

New replies: 4

This is me replies: 1