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Sophie_M Meet your community champions!
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Be... View more

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

Aaronsis HELP..Am I posting in the right section?
  • replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried th... View more

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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ZACHARYKWH House captain Rejection
  • replies: 3

This happened over a month ago, but I still feel salty and heartbroken about not getting house captain. What can I do to move on from it?

This happened over a month ago, but I still feel salty and heartbroken about not getting house captain. What can I do to move on from it?

Allira Defined by who I am becoming, not by my past
  • replies: 0

Hello,Having only just joined this group, I am still finding my way online.My preference has always been face-to-face interactions because they help me feel more connected to others. But here goes Growing up as a teenager in the 80s, without social m... View more

Hello,Having only just joined this group, I am still finding my way online.My preference has always been face-to-face interactions because they help me feel more connected to others. But here goes Growing up as a teenager in the 80s, without social media’s pressures, shaped this preference. The constant comparisons and judgments that happen online today can really intensify mental health challenges.Even so, my childhood was dysfunctional, marked by family violence and ongoing abuse from my parents, which had lingering effects on how I relate to others as an adult. 26 years ago, I broke my silence of abuse and finally spoke out about my experiences, beginning a healing process that has felt like being on a roller coaster, full of highs and lows. This is because growing up, I became hypervigilant to signs of danger to protect myself from abuse, making it hard to relax or trust my judgment.As an adult, I still scan for rejection or criticism and am still learning not to overthink and overanalyse texts or people's words and actions, even pauses or changes in tone from others, which leaves me emotionally drained and disconnected from my own feelings and needs. I have come to terms with the fact that recovery is not something that happens overnight or makes me forget the past. Healing is not a straight line.For example, for me, it hasn’t been Struggle- Start therapy- Feel better and put it in the past. Personally, it goes like this for me..Struggle - go to therapy - learn a little more about myself - feel better - get triggered by something - feel low - forget what I learnt - struggle - therapy - sit with emotions - learn a little more - feel better- encounter a difficulty - struggle - avoid emotions - practice what I have learnt- feel good- until something triggers me once more. Now, I see this as an ongoing learning cycle. There will be both good times and tough times, but I accept this is my lifelong path toward healing and, most importantly, personal growth.Whenever I face something daunting, I've learned to let my emotions surface rather than bottle them up. I reach out to someone trustworthy, engage in therapy, or do something I enjoy. Later, I reflect and treat every experience as an opportunity for learning and growth. Rather than criticising myself when I stumble, I strive to be gentler and more compassionate with myself, and I’m grateful for the person I am becoming; someone who extends that kindness and gentleness to those around me. I remind myself that it’s okay not to feel okay sometimes; the key is not to stay stuck there. I make sure I have tools and support ready for those challenging days. Joining this forum is a daunting but new experience and I am eager to connect with others facing similar challenges so we can support one another.We are all worth the effort and worthy.We don’t have to be defined by what we have been through butWhat we are shaping ourselves to be.Survivors!

On The Road Suddenly feel insufferably lonely
  • replies: 57

this is how I feel right now, not sure if this is the best place to post this... these kinds of intrusive thoughts are scary, they are not the facts but they are linked to reality. Because I'm really lonely.

this is how I feel right now, not sure if this is the best place to post this... these kinds of intrusive thoughts are scary, they are not the facts but they are linked to reality. Because I'm really lonely.

amd1953 Owed to Solitude
  • replies: 457

I owe a lot to my current situation in life. In fact, it's probably as close to heaven on earth that I will ever get. I've served my apprenticeship in the School of Hard Knocks. It was actually a life sentence with no time off for good behaviour. I t... View more

I owe a lot to my current situation in life. In fact, it's probably as close to heaven on earth that I will ever get. I've served my apprenticeship in the School of Hard Knocks. It was actually a life sentence with no time off for good behaviour. I think it was Mr. W. Shakespeare who said "All the world's a stage". And that is precisely what we are - actors on a stage. Some of us play our parts really well and fool the audience into actually believing what we say we are. Then there are those who find it impossible to be anything other than what they are. Not good actors at all. That's where I make my entrance. But I don't play to the audience any more because it is a complete and utter waste of time and effort. Now that I have settled into retirement, I can stop the acting and the pretence and be whatever I choose to be. It's a great pity that we have to spend the greater part of our lives playing to an audience. Some people get away with turning their backs on the bright lights and sink into blissful anonymity. This is what I am trying to do now so that I can gather a little happiness around me before I drop off the perch. When I think back, I seem to have spent so much time trying to keep everyone else happy and giving in to do things when I don't want to. I never had the nerve to say no so I guess I was a real pushover. I think it's time to turn the page on the script and write my own dialogue for a change. Or is that asking too much? I'm not really sure myself. Maybe I am expecting too much. Shame on me eh? But there will come a time when I run out of choices and that will be the end of it. The curtain comes down on another production. I only hope it doesn't come too soon. If we do what we want to when we want to do it, we are called selfish. I have nothing left to give. It's all gone. The audience have gone home and the stage is a dusty platform waiting for the next deception. Sorry, production.

Ejm Introduction
  • replies: 4

I am male, 20 years old. I have been friendless and socially isolated for the past five or so years, which has made me feel rather depressed. I have been unable to get a job, besides an unpaid volunteer one.

I am male, 20 years old. I have been friendless and socially isolated for the past five or so years, which has made me feel rather depressed. I have been unable to get a job, besides an unpaid volunteer one.

HeyMoe Alone at 57...
  • replies: 1

Hi. I'm 57. Married for 25 years. Two adult boys. Had a job since I was 20... except for being unemployed for eighteen months during COVID, after being made redundant from my job of 31 years.Always had trouble keeping friends. From high school onward... View more

Hi. I'm 57. Married for 25 years. Two adult boys. Had a job since I was 20... except for being unemployed for eighteen months during COVID, after being made redundant from my job of 31 years.Always had trouble keeping friends. From high school onwards. It was a few years before the redundancy I realised all the 'friends' I had made really weren't. After being let go, suddenly there was radio silence. No returned calls, no replies to emails. Looking back, it had always been like that, using work to make acquaintances. I was an alcoholic for 10 years, it allowed me to forget. I don't drink anymore, it's been nearly five years. But the sadness and loneliness gets to me now. Unbearable at times. Sometimes I think I've had enough. When you don't have family you're close to, when your wife can't help, you wallow in your own mind. How do I change this lonely life?

Guest_53962359 Lonely and Depressed
  • replies: 2

Hi new to this forum, I’m 56 male happily married with two adult children but no friends. 7 years ago we moved interstate and since then I haven’t been able to find new friends. I feel I’m putting a lot of pressure on my wife as she is all I have. I ... View more

Hi new to this forum, I’m 56 male happily married with two adult children but no friends. 7 years ago we moved interstate and since then I haven’t been able to find new friends. I feel I’m putting a lot of pressure on my wife as she is all I have. I have lost both parents and have no family to speak to. My mental health has suffered in the last few years and was recently diagnosed by my GP as having depression and anxiety. I feel when people try to talk to me at work I just put up these barriers and want nothing to do with them. My physical health has declined in recent months with back problems, bowel and erectile dysfunction which doesn’t help my mental health. I just don’t know what to do

Guest_13628286 I'm so lonely
  • replies: 2

Not entirely sure if I should just dump everything at once but, here goes.I'm a man in my early thirties with no close friends, no career nor job, no partner and what is feeling like no future as the days keep on just sliding by. I live with my lovin... View more

Not entirely sure if I should just dump everything at once but, here goes.I'm a man in my early thirties with no close friends, no career nor job, no partner and what is feeling like no future as the days keep on just sliding by. I live with my loving and supportive parents, but all of my family isn't interested in things I am, so I can only be excited by the things I like alone, with nobody to really talk to about things I enjoy.I don't know how to make friends, since the last time I did was almost 15 years ago now, and even then, I couldn't keep them lasting. I've also had one girlfriend, but she was long distance and we never even got to hug, despite being together for almost a year. I've also had shots with multiple women, but fumbled or didn't pick up the signals, so nothing happened.All I want are friends I can play games with and nerd out over things together with some pizza or something. I'm going to be extremely alone this Christmas as well, since all my family is going away on holidays and it'll be the first Christmas I'll ever be alone truly on.I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm destined to die alone. I cope by playing games solo, watching videos and consuming adult content just to drown out the painful thoughts and feelings. I've been trying to become an apprentice baker for months now, studying at tafe and applying for jobs, but nobodies hiring me. I've been working on my physical fitness and sense of fashion, but I'm still invisible and can't push as hard as others do. I've even been trying to socialise more and I get along with most people easily enough, but nothing ever hooks or clicks enough for them to ask me to join them for something, nor do I feel comfortable inviting myself into an event and hosting terrifies me. Past trauma and events make even considering the attempt at trying that horrifying, so I permanently have this impression in my head that I'm unwanted and annoying, even if I know the opposite to be true.I don't know... I feel like if I drank alcohol and liked sports like most other Aussies, I'd be married, have a career and kids by now. Instead, I'm in the same bedroom I've lived in for 20 years and sitting at my computer at midnight on a Saturday night typing this out instead of cuddling a lover or laughing with friends. I wish there was more sober places to hang out and meet people, but they all seem formal or sports focused. It's too expensive and taboo to just want to live happily and comfortable these days.

hello_panda Its my 20th birthday today
  • replies: 3

Hi all,It’s my 20th birthday today. Spent the entire day crying. I’ve been reflecting on my life and everything I’ve done so far, but honestly, I can’t think of anything I truly feel proud of. Even today, I don’t have any close friends to share these... View more

Hi all,It’s my 20th birthday today. Spent the entire day crying. I’ve been reflecting on my life and everything I’ve done so far, but honestly, I can’t think of anything I truly feel proud of. Even today, I don’t have any close friends to share these feelings with or anyone I genuinely want to spend the day with. At home, birthdays have never really felt special, there’s usually low effort around them and the same thing each year, and when I ‘compare’ it to how my friends celebrate, it stings a little more. I know I sound ungrateful or even bratty for saying that. feel grateful for the things I do have. I am grateful for my family, for the opportunities I’ve had, and for the lessons I’ve learned along the way. It’s just I dont know why I feel really down. I think I just expected that by 20, I’d feel more settled, somewhat more sure of myself, more surrounded by people who get me. Instead I feel so lost and unworthy.

Kahlzun Stuck Single, and every day is harder
  • replies: 4

I have never been great at the people side of things. I grew up an outsider, bullied and cripplingly alone, and I internalised a lot of that loneliness into my identity. I convinced myself that I didn't need other people, that I didn't belong around ... View more

I have never been great at the people side of things. I grew up an outsider, bullied and cripplingly alone, and I internalised a lot of that loneliness into my identity. I convinced myself that I didn't need other people, that I didn't belong around them. Thankfully, being part of a large family helped keep me grounded, and I grew out of much of these thoughts, but still carried this idea of being somehow independent of others. I've had two long-term relationships, one ended in the sudden death of my wife, and the other suddenly dumped me earlier this year in favour of a different guy. I've been slowly crawling my way out of the pain of rejection and abandonment, and I am finding myself very alone. My friends are slowly drawing away from me, gradually responding less and less to my messages. I've had very little luck with the online dating, none of my friends are able to (or maybe willing to?) introduce me to their single friends, and I don't know how to meet people organically. I'm autistic, so I find engaging with social activities to be daunting at best, which greatly limits my opportunities for meeting people organically.. And it just is starting to all pile up. I've been trying. I've been trying really hard, but I just don't feel like I'm making any progress anymore and it's starting to feel increasingly hopeless. And despite my previous beliefs in my independence, I'm finding that I am desperately needing company in ways that I never did before.