All I want in my life is a friend.
Hi everyone and thanks for clicking my thread.
Ok so I'm new to typing out something like this so bare with me on this thanks.
Hi my name is Jake and I'm 23 years old turning 24 on October 9th. I joined this forum today because I want to make friends it's been a long time dream of mine the thing is I'm very picky. All my life I have tried to make friends been around social workers growing up they kept putting me into the wrong groups of people which was making my life a living hell as you see I've been bullied at everything I have tried at and where I live when I was young I used to be bashed and because of that I've locked myself inside of my house ALL my life as outside I do not feel comfortable.
The reason I want friends now is because my mother passed away last year from lung cancer and a brain tumor and since then I've been forced to live alone with nobody to talk to and it's been 1 whole year now and it's starting to make me feel very weird about myself. I'm not used to talking to nobody I had my mother for this she kept me happy now... All I feel is sadness / loneliness and depression.
I don't even have online friends I have nobody what so ever. I've attempted to try and get help from Headspace over this but they have pushed me away.
I suffer with a bit of autism and ADHD and I think because of that nobody wants to be my friend heck I've never even experienced love either.
I just don't know how much more longer I can continue living like this. See I can't do anything because 1 - I don't drive / 2 - I'm not familiar with Transport / 3 - I'm always broke because of Shopping and Bills so I can't even get a taxi and 4 - I suffer with back pain so I find it hard to walk and I got this back pain from locking myself away from the outside world.
I've never hurt nobody and I've never treated anyone like garbage. Nobody wants to even give me a chance. A couple of days ago I attempted to try and make friends. The first person who was nice towards me said "No" and the other person I asked blocked me. I couldn't stop crying.
All I want in my life is someone who understands me and can cheer me up. I'm not much of a good looking guy nor do I dress decent doesn't mean I should deal with having no friends.
... By the way is this the right section I post this in? If not sorry.
Thanks for reading.
Hi Jake, welcome to the forums.
It’s very brave of you to post your story here. It sounds like it has been very challenging for you to make friends with others who have the same interests. What are you looking for in a friend?
I’m sorry to hear that you have lost your mother, I can’t imagine how upsetting and lonely this time has been for you. It’s great that you have come to the forums to reach out to others, we are here for you. It sounds like there is a lot on your mind at the moment, seeking a circle of support while grieving the loss of your mother, feeling isolated due to not being able to access transportation, and suffering back pain on top of everything else – it may not seem like much, but you are doing your best talking to us here to find your way out of this dark time. You seem like a very strong, genuine and caring person just from reading your post. I hope the community gets to hear from you more, if you feel comfortable. It would also be comforting to know that you have a plan to keep yourself safe. Maybe we can help you plan your weekend?
Thanks for sharing Jake,
There's not really much I can do as anything "fun" requires money and I'm broke to do anything on the weekend.
What I usually do everyday is I just play on my Laptop or my Xbox One X and I do this every single day. I'm getting really really really bored of both because I have no online friends for both laptop and xbox.
So for the weekend to answer your question there's really nothing to do lol.
About that caring person thing you said let's just say that's wrong. I've had my bumps in life constant arguments with my mother and kind of been a real ass back in the day towards people... tho it was just on the internet not real life as in real life I'm a very shy/nervous person.
I can't even look people in the eye when I talk to them that's been an issue for me for a very long time. When I speak it kinda looks like I'm lying.
So in short I'm a very confusing/weird person to be around.
I'm shy, nervous and have ADD - I've had it since 1996 and am going great on my journey of life. You can also!
Find your strengths and stick to them. You'll have a talent or skill like no other, find it harness it and own it!
Even with no money, go to your local library and get 'Borrow Box', find a eBook that will change your life! There are so many out there that will inspire.
Have a great weekend and remember to smile, that's a universal power we can all share with each other.
Hey Jake, I see your post has moved so
apologies for not getting back to you sooner. Just
off reading your previous post about not being a caring person - your past
actions do not define you as an individual so I hope you can be kind to yourself. We all have experiences where our thoughts and emotions may have got the best of us, but that's just it, they are feelings and emotions, not who we are.
Would you consider introducing yourself on another thread here and see where that takes you? There is the ‘BB Social Zone’ section of the forums that is meant for members interested in socialising with others. Another option is https://www.meetup.com/en-AU have you heard of it? MeetUp offers opportunities to connect and join groups in your local area – there may even be an activity of interest to you for your birthday. Hope this is helpful.
I can't do MeetUp most events I find on that site are far out of my area and since me not knowing how to use transport properly I can't use the site and I can't pay for taxi rides due to money issues.
Believe me I'd love to give it a go. I keep getting emails about new events being made from Meetup... The thing is I'm a very shy person so I can't do face to face directly.
My idea is to get to know someone on the internet for a few weeks to a few months maybe a year so I can get comfortable with the person I'm speaking with and since hardly none of these meetup groups do this it's not an option for me as they want it to be a direct meetup hence the name of it anyway... so yeah.
About that section you mentioned I was kinda hoping this thread would find me someone to be friends with as all my life I've always been the first person to start conversations and I ALWAYS get pushed away and that hurts me the most in my life so I'll just wait until someone who's interested to get to know me from this thread... it could take days/weeks/months but I can wait it out as I've already waited years so it doesn't matter.
Welcome to the forums. Just jumping in to remind you that we do not permit members to make offline contact with each other. If you feel up to it we'd encourage you to continue to reach out to others on the forums for support about what you are going through as it is quite likely that others can relate to your journey. We hope to see you around.
Is it possible that this is something that you can work towards? What I mean is, if you’re not concerned too much about meeting someone within a specific time-frame, could joining a group in the community be a goal that you set for yourself? And because you have already taken the time to join the forums maybe you can use this space to challenge yourself to reach out to others? (when you’re ready). I understand how frustrating and hurtful it can be to feel like you’re always the one starting a conversation or being pushed away but I think that is something a lot of us here can relate to experiencing - maybe this can be a fresh start? Just some thoughts.