A need to get it off my chest!
welcome to beyond blue.
My only real knowledge of teaching are the snippets of conversations I hear from my wife, or from sister-in-law or mother - all of them teachers, and one retired, and the wife found it quite stressful. Yet everything you said I would have heard in one form or another. My sister-is-law works at a high school and a year level coordinator, and so like you is also working the weekends. It sounds like a rather thankless task given what you are expected to do and put up with.
On top of the demands of teaching you also have issues at home to contend with as well. There is a lot that you are dealing with, so if you felt overwhelmed by it all, I would understand.
So.... what can you do?
Some things are easier said than done!
I wonder if every day is the same for you, feeling under appreciated, or not respected? Are there moments when things have worked out for you? If so, could those moments be repeated?
Kids learn from their parents, so if they are copying their father...? Are there times when they are behaved? If not, what is the worst that could happen to them?
In everything you have said, there is a solution, but it will take time and patience. Also remember that you are only human and doing the best that you can, and that is all anyone can ask for. Be kind to yourself. Finally, talk to someone if it would help you, even if professionally. Here though, I am listening to you.
Hi Lauren, welcome
So, you are feeling overwhelmed with your teaching work which overflows to after hours. You don't have a homelife whereby you feel appreciate and your husband seems preoccupied with hobbies and you have to ask him to help you with chores rather than him being supportive and proactive. I hope I got all that right.
I think there is a lot said that can be overcome if you chip away at it. In a few short months all will be much better, it might be all in the approach and seeking assistance. My daughter is a teacher by profession however she has been medically retired due to PTSD and depression. It isn't the job it used to be sadly but it is what it is now.
Here is my thoughts-
- Visit your finances, consider, if possible semi retiring from full time work and do part time
- Have a meeting with all four of you to discuss responsibilities and how you need them to step up to do some chores without being reminded. Set down specific areas for your husband to do without any input from you.
- Focus on your eldest and his future plans of an independent life, encouragement of same.
- Set aside an area in your home or shed whereby it is YOUR hobby/work area that will not be disturbed.
- Consider that you could do with a mental health assessment yourself. Chat with your GP
- Breaks- short holidays even overnight.
- As Tim mentioned be kind to yourself which can include being a little selfish. Meet up with friends
You haven't mentioned hobbies/sports/interests. It could be an area much lacking. A passion is a distraction and something to look forward to. Your husband has his photography, if there is an interest that you could embrace it might be a way of connecting both his interest and yours? Eg you might like gardening and both attend a flower show where you could ask him to take pics?
The following threads might help. Just read the first post please.
Finally- counseling. If you attended, it would be to cope with how your life is ATM. If your husband wont attend then go alone but the purpose extends to also learning to cope with his illness and the household dynamic. If he asks you how the session went tell him he is welcome to attend.
I hope that helps.