Hi team, this is my very first post as I found this forum today. My husband suffers from depression and anxiety and has done his whole life, including trying to take his own life when he was younger. I have personally never suffered from mental health, so have been doing a lot of research and learning about it in recent times.
His Mum died recently and he is going through some physical health issues of his own, as well as hating his job. When he gets in a state like he is at the moment, he turns inside himself and does not communicate much, which I find difficult. I adore him and do everything to show him, but one thing will set him off and he turns it against me and takes his depression out on me.
I am having some day surgery tomorrow and I’m scared, as I’ve never had any surgery before. I feel selfish because I’m resenting him that I can’t share my feelings with him about it, because he’s giving me the cold shoulder about something from 3 days ago. It culminated in an argument this morning and him telling me that no one cares about him. I now sit here terrified and I’m feeling helpless.
I have always supported him, but it’s not fair to be the metaphorical punching bag for his illness and feelings. He has sought help last year from a psychologist, but has never shared anything about it with me. I feel lost, helpless and like I’m failing him and our family. I know how he is being towards me is not him and it is his illness, but it still hurts. I have cried so many tears in the last 24hrs and I feel alone. I raised with him this morning that his mental health is not good at the moment, so I’m hopeful he may take this on board and go back to get some help again.
