Supporting a partner with anxiety and anger

[Anthony2060]

Hello all,

i wanted to see if anyone can offer advice and help for me. My fiancée suffers with anxiety and worries about everything all the time. She can become very irritable and angry and tends to take this out on me verbally. She becomes anxious first, then it turns to anger.

i try my best to diffuse the anxiety when it starts but more often than not it’s hard to stop. She has just started to go see a counsellor once a week. They have been good for her but she isn’t doing the exercises they give her to try and understand the anxiety and what might trigger it.

I would like to know of any tips of dealing with this and any ways I can find to help nudge her in the right direction. We moved over from the UK a few years ago and we don’t have a large support network and I am on my own dealing with this.

any help would be amazing

thanks

[MissMySon]

Hi Anthony,

I have 5 years experience in this kind of relationship. My ex had undiagnosed illness, and I suffered verbal and physical abuse. For her to get well, she must do the exercises so they become second nature to her, otherwise its a waste of time. When you find that she is getting anxious, try to casually change the environment to her likes eg. if it is dark inside, open the curtains to let light in. Put her favourite music on, etc.

I found it worked for a while, but its up to her in the end. If it ever turns violent, leave, because once it starts, it never stops.
Good luck dude.