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struggling with special needs children

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life
641 Replies 641

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Mark

I hope your daughter enjoys the RSPVA this afternoon! I can understand she might be a bit nervous but it's also very exciting for her!

Good on your son for having a go! That takes courage.

I understand not having much money to spend, everything is so expensive now, I think a lot of us are in the same situation!

🙂👍

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
My daughter had a great day at the RSPCA working with the cats cleaning,feeding and training them.She was the only volunteer on that day when they can have 6.Very short of volunteers and badly need more.Her final term lesson for Tafe is going to be an excursion to a zoo with her class then a two week break.Last week of term next week for them and I will be glad to have a break from so much driving.

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Mark, That sounds great that your daughter enjoyed it so much! The trip to the zoo should be a great experience for her too.

Did the RSPCA say why they are so short of volunteers? I had thought lots of people would like to volunteer to work with the animals. I wonder what the problem is?

I hope you are keeping warm where you are, the nights and mornings here in NSW are freezing!

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I am not sure why they are so short of volunteers.One thing they moved out of town a couple of years ago and might have discouraged people from volunteering and covid might have had an effect as well.The people who work there seemed to have started off there as volunteers so I am hoping my daughter can get a paid job out of this adventurally and with her studies she's doing will have a certificate at the end of the year.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I have managed to find my threads I started but don't know if anyone else can see them?

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi all the one thing I really find hard is my son's toileting.He dosnt use the toilet most of the time and really is getting hard changing him and cleaning him.I am getting worried he will never will and he has one more year and he will be in High school.We have tried most things and see someone about this but don't seem to getting much improvement.

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey Matchy!! I've missed you! 

 

Wow what a struggle for you (all), I'm really sorry this has been such a long road for you. 

 

I have an idea that you MAY have tried before but with a twist... 

 

Tell me what REALLY motivates your son? 
1 thing that is more INSTANT, like chocolate or a bike ride with you or an instant play at the park??
AND 

1 BIG thing he can work towards (one that you can afford so YOU write the list for him to choose from)... like painting his room or an electronic toy or ..?? 

 

Then we work out how many times he needs to be changed by you... could be 8 times per day (idk). 
And how many times he DOES use the toilet independently per day (if any at all). 

 

Then EVERY TIME HE uses the toilet independently, he gets the INSTANT TREAT. So you could be doing 8 bike rides per day so be prepared!

 

The next part needs to be worked out between you at the same time as the small treat time... 
IF he can maintain the goal.... the goal with the instant treats.... for x number of days when he's with you (you both choose the days), then he gets the BIG treat. 

 

We really have to get down to knowing WHAT motivates the child and go for it. INSTANT is best. 

 

See how you go
Love EM

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi em great to see you back and have read some of your post and caught up what's been happening in you life.

Thanks for the tips.What my sons favourite things seem to change from day to day.I am glad it's not bike riding as I can't ride bike to much with the way my health is these days.He does like chocolate takes after his mother in that regard.Their is a school camp coming up in October which we going to use motivation for his toilet training.Hopefully we can make some in roads on this.Hd seems to start using the toilet and then stops.He sees the specialist again in a couple of weeks.We had to cancel the last two because he was in hospital and his mother had covid.

I just got home from dropping my daughter of at TAFE.She said they are doing first aid training today.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

It gets very exhausting for me with a lot of driving to take my daughter to Tafe and volunteering.Its a long way to go.I am happy to do it.

My daughter has done her first aid Certificate now which is great and another box ticked.Hoping she will be able to do some sort of work adventurally.It would be good for her confidence.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

The school annoyed me yesterday as they didn't notify me that my son had been badly hurt after he was tripped.I got a text from them yesterday notifying me that they had a positive case in the school.So my plans of taking the kids to buy a new chook each is out.We will have to stay home and I will test my son and hopefully he dosn't get any symptoms.My son is suppose to have the specialist Tuesday and had to cancel the last two appointments to him being in hospital and covid.

My daughter didn't do her volunteering Thursday as she was having bad stomach pains again.