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struggling with special needs children

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life
640 Replies 640

Boudica
Community Member

Hello Mark,

Today I found out my ex's chemotherapy didn't work, and he is next going to have major surgery. I find it really hard to find a way to talk about these things with Blake. When he first found out his dad had cancer, he didn't react at all, but later I found out that he thought it meant he was going to die. Blake does not express his thoughts and emotions at all usually, but sometimes they come out in strange ways later on. His dad will definitely need to have a colostomy bag now, and Blake had said before that if that happened he would no longer want to see his dad, as he just found the idea too disgusting. He is going to find it all really hard to process 😞

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Boudica I am sorry the chemo hasn't worked for your ex and I know how this must be effecting you.Telling Blake about his dad will be the hardest thing for the both of you.I remember that talk with my mum about my dad when I was a teenager and it did effect me so much to the point of locking my self away in my room.Keep an eye on Blake and give him time and be there for him.

Take care,

Mark.

Boudica
Community Member
Thanks Mark, you always seem to have some kind thoughts to share. Spoke to Blake, but no reaction so far ....he is really not able to communicate or even recognize what he is feeling generally. He never hides out from me in his room actually, he tends to follow me around as he doesn't like to be alone (I often wish I had a bit more personal space!). He is next to me, and I think he is avoiding thinking about it by watching topgear re-runs on youtube non-stop.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Boudica everyone see.s to have their own coping mechanisms.The most important thing is for Blake to know your there for him.It was a very traumatic experience going through.I remember my mum trying to hug me and I just pushed her away.I could never talk to anyone about how I was feeling or express my emotions.I don't think I can even 35 years later.

My son seems to like being by himself and other times he wants me with him.My daughter seems to be drifting apart from me in her teenage years but know I have a lot my parenting to do even though she is almost 18.

Take care,

Mark

Boudica
Community Member

Good Morning Mark,

How are you today? It was all foggy here this morning, so I took my coffee down to the lake to drink. I like to watch the rowers slowly appearing out of the fog as they come near.

My eldest son was one for lurking in his room as a teenager. Sometimes really hard to know what is going on in their life at that age as they can become very secretive. He is still living with me at 26 (working and studying though). He did move out for a couple of years and lived with a girlfriend, but when they split, he came back home.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Boudica no fog here this morning but we are getting some nice rain at the moment.Just did some pruning earlier before the rain came.

My daughter didn't go to school again today.Only just over 5 months to go for her and then a new chapter.

Take care,

Mark.

Guest_1643
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi all

Hi Boudica, it's nice that ur son can live with u but has also had the experience living out of home

Rent is expensive these days, I can understand why they'd want to save up 🙂

Hi Mark, only 5 months til she finishes - you must be proud of her! She sounds like she has some plans which is good - a lot of ppl at her age don't have any attraction to anything particular... i was pretty unsure at that age too.

Cold here and will rain for a few days. A friend is coming over to bring a care package to me as I'm scared of going to the supermarkets. We are a bit confused and topsy turvy hree in melbourne, a new lockdown and rules again, but not exactly the same as lsat time. Sometimes I forget that we don't have a curfew, and feel guilty leaving the house after 9pm.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi sleepy it's good that my daughter has plans but will have to try and keep her motivated and hope she can manage to stick to it as I know how hard it is and can be quick to lose motivation.

After a wet day yesterday it is just windy here today and feels really cold at the moment.

I don't blame you not going to the shops.I don't go much to the shops anymore and get my groceries delivered every fortnight.This coviid has just made me go back to my old ways of not going out if I can help it.

Take care,

Mark.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi slly son waking up thisorning has a nasty sounding cough again but sed to have plenty of energy.He wants me to make him some pilelets for breakfast so I will go and do that now.

Take care,

Mark.

Boudica
Community Member

Good Morning Mark,

I hope your son is on the mend. How's things?