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struggling with special needs children

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life
641 Replies 641

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Boudica and sleepy it's beautiful day here after heavy frost this morning and a freezing start to the day.In shorts and t-shirt now.

My sons home with a cough.He dosnt seem unwell and no high temperature at the moment.Hopefully it only last a few days.

I had another chat with my daughter and she says she wants to do a TAFE course as well as work.It looks like she could get it subisdised or free.I will have to look into it closer.I am getting a bit nervous as not long for her schooling to go and I would like her to do something rather then just stay at home like I have done most of my life due to my mental health.

My bedroom has to bookshelves in it one with all my gardening books and one with all my motorcycle books and a TV and walls covered with my kids photos.

Take care,

Mark

Boudica
Community Member

Hello Mark,

I love frost, unfortunately my plants don't feel the same! Your brave, I can't even imagine shorts at the moment, no chance of that until at least October.

It's great your daughter knows what she wants, it can be really hard to figure out when you are young and haven't really tried anything. I wish I had a Dad like you growing up, you are so supportive. I don't think my Dad ever really understood me at all.

Your bedroom sound like a cosy den. Nice to have photos of your kids.

All the best.

Boudica
Community Member

Good Morning Mark,

I hope your son is doing better today.

🙂

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Boudica thanks my son is doing ok just cough. Another frosty start to the morning but warmed up nice in the son.Did a little bit out in the garden this morning.

I hope you are having a good day.

Take care,

Mark.

Boudica
Community Member

Hi Mark,

Sorry your son is still sick, I hope it clears up soon.

I am really having a lot of trouble with anxiety over my project. I am really tough on myself and have trouble with perfectionism with my work. This might sound like a good thing but it is not at all. What it means is that I am never happy with my work and just keep eternally revising everything I do, and get stuck in a loop. I am always really reluctant to show anything to my supervisor as I always think my work is terrible, even though I know in my head he won't think so. It is really isolating being stuck in a self-critical bubble and it causes huge delays for me, when I get stuck in this cycle. I am trying to get help from you tube videos, as many other people have the same trouble.

The project really excites me when I am not paralysed by anxiety. I am studying the ecological impact of canopy die-back on microclimate - I am going to use multispectral satellite imagery, drone LiDAR data and field microsensor data, together with some field measures. It is a project that spans two specializations: ecology and remote sensing and focuses on one remnant stringybark forest. I wish I could overcome my anxiety so I could work on it more effectively.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Boudica I know about perfectionist as my father was one and it one thing I didn't get off him at the moment.I did get his ocds.

My son will be ok when his cough goes.You just get looked out like your some horrible person for having a cough.It is just the world we live into day.

I am sure your project will be amazing as your an amazing person.Try and be kind to yourself.

Take care,

Mark 

 

Boudica
Community Member
Thanks M

Guest_1643
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

hey Boudaica

i can understand that perfectionist sstreak as I feel that way about certain things or have in the past.

Def lots of ppl struggle with this and can relate. im sorry you're struggling atm wit ur project and hope it goes well

Hello,

Thanks for your words Sleepy....the struggle is real! When I have a lot of stress in my life, the perfectionism gets worse, I think it is tied to a need for control, when I am overwhelmed by chaos. I worked for many years in financial sector and did auditing for years. At least with that kind of work, there is a clear right or wrong generally, and the work is done when it is correct.

Mark, I know what you mean about the dirty looks if you cough, as I am an asthmatic and sometimes I get horribly wheezy and cough when in public!

It's funny as you get older you can start to dissect which traits you inherited from each of your parents, and I think you develop a better understanding of them as people. 🙂

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Boudica I see traits I got from my parents and my children having some of the traits as well.

My brother was an auditor years ago before he became a youth worker and now a minister. Changing careers is really the norm today.We look for that career that will make us happy and fulfil us and be rewarding for us.I think it can take us time to find what we really do enjoy.

I hope you can find some way of managing your stress and find control of your study.I think it's really great that you have taken this extra study on and hope you succeed in it.

Take care,

Mark.