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struggling with special needs children

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life
641 Replies 641

Lillylane
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Mark,

How awful! So frightening and very unsettling.

After you had very little sleep the night before, and then last night being disturbed with nightmares, I imagine you’ll feel very tired today. Hope you get some catch up rest.

lillylane

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I was thinking of going into town this morning.I am just tired and just did some washing by hand can't wait for my new washing machine to get here.

Jstar49
Community Member

Hi Mark,

That sounds a bit unsettling for you! How are the kids about it?

Fire is such a powerful force, it really gets us in our survival mode, I think.

Last years fires certainly brought this whole area to a state of emergency for quite a long time. Also a great community building exprerience I think, although I can't speak for the ppl who lost their homes and are still having to deal with the consequences. Our homes become our security, it's awful to imagine losing them so quickly like that, in a fire or flood or other catastrophic event.

Good day to stay home and look after yourself, for sure.

Hugs,

J*

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Jstar my kids seem to be ok about it at the moment.I will keep an eye on them.My son gets scared of things easily.I went into town for a couple of hours and now just going to rest in front of the tv for the rest of the day.I just feel for the people who lost everything.At least no one was hurt.
Take care,
Mark.

Newbie here!

Couldn’t move past this post. Parent to a 10yr old with a disability and have A lot going on mentally myself. It’s a tough gig!

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Candypants and welcome.Yes it is tough raising a child with a dissability plus having your own mental health problems.I hope you can find this thread helpful and know you are not alone.I hope you feel comfortable and sharing more of your story on here.
Take care,
Mark.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I am getting anxious it's my daughter's birthday Friday and wondering where she will be this time next year.I probably will be supporting her financially and still caring for her.18 years old dosnt mean she is off my hands probably more looking after by me as I won't have the break with school.The government don't care and dosnt seem to be much support.

Lillylane
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Mark,

Sounds like there is a lot to consider at this age and the uncertainly would be stressful. Does your daughter have any thoughts on what she wants to do next year?

I’m at the start of the schooling journey (my daughters have just started prep).

Hope you are going ok.

Lillylane

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Lillylane the school juorney can be difficult at times I hope you have a really supportive school.My daughter has interest in working with animals but don't know if she will ever be able to do that with the way her aniety is and having constant panic attacks.I don't think their is any support for her once she has left school.The support systems will be taken away.I don't want her life to be like mine,no friends and no one wants me in their life.

Jstar49
Community Member

Hi Mark,

I can understand the anxiety you are feeling. Especially if it seems like your daughter is finding school life hard, you worry about the rest of life.

But really, isn't school kinda the WORST part of life?

I wonder, if she likes working with animals, maybe there are opportunities she can explore this year that will provide something to look forward to continueing with in her life. Perhaps even stepping stones to work/volunteering. I guess now is the time to begin to access it, with the support systems you already have in place.

I just googled wires, and they have a volunteer pathway, which begins with a course. You need to be over 18 to do it. Maybe it's something you would like to do Mark? Not sure if you feel up to it, but it could be a way to get your D more involved in caring for animals.

This is a challenging time, and it's good that you're thinking about her future. By focusing on the postive qualities your d has it will be easier to have conversations about what she'd like to do in life.

Good luck with that tho, I can remember some very painful convos with my d about 'the future' !!!

Maybe she would benefit from some careers counselling?

Just try not to stress Mark. Enjoy her birthday as much now as you would have when she was 4. Altho I'm sure there were worries then as well! Every age has it's own uniques worries- thats how we accumulate grey hairs!

Cheers,

J*