FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

struggling with special needs children

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Does anyone else have children with special needs.I am struggling with mine.My youngest cant use a toilet when their at the age they should be.I am getting tired of changing them,does that make me a bad parent?The constant hyperepisodes are taking their strain especially that i am going through other personal stuff in my life
641 Replies 641

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi all, lately I have been really struggling with everything.I am so tired from lack of sleep. My son wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes with a wet bed or from a bad dream.And he wakes up so early and he be standing next to my bed asking me to get his breakfast.So I do in like a zombie state don' even know what I am doing.I still have so many challenges with him as he is still not toilet trained and now with him getting older seeing that is my future just changing him cleaning up his mess with no sleep.I found out that when school goes back his teachers aid who has been with him since the start as well as my daughter all through primary school has left to go to another school.So now I am worried what will the new aid be like and will she be as good as her.Their is suppse to be a change if principle again back to one I wasn't happy with.Feeling he will go backwards now at school after having a promising year last year after a shaky start.

My daughter will be entering her last year of schooling and the worry with her is she hasn't spoken a word to anybody at school or outside of the immediate family with her selective mutism.She has had some health problems to that don't seem to be improving to go with her anxiety and panic attacks and stopped seeing her psychologist in the midd lke of last year which has me worried how is she going to cope at all.

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Mark,

Sorry I don't have any ideas that would help. I'm guessing you will have already tried anything I could think of.

I just wanted to pop on here & send you a supportive hug & offer an ear to listen.

take care

Paws

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi paws it is good to see you on here.I am just feeling so flat at the moment.The kids are seeing pschiatrist,phsio,OT ect but just feeling down about it all and all the appointments that never end.

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Mark,

Bearing in mind I don't have kids & have never had to care for my nieces/nephews for more than 36hrs at a time... you may have tried these or feel free to ignore/tell me I'm an idiot for making the following suggestions... with trying to toilet train your son.. during the day if he goes to the toilet make it he gets a reward... praise plus a gold star on the calendar/favourite treat etc, building up to say his favourite meal/game if he has more than an agreed number of successes. With trying to get him to be dry all night... restrict his fluid intake for the last two hours before bed & make it part of the going to bed routine that he goes to the toilet (even if at first he doesn't do anything). Historically the intermission at the 1 1/2 hr mark in plays/theatres was based on the average time most people can hold on before needing to empty their bladder.

I hope you don't mind me making this suggestion... if you would prefer I didn't suggest things then please let me know I wouldn't be offended if you want me not too.

Paws

Guest_1643
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

hi Mark hope ur son has a great aid next year and gets the help he needs

thats disappointing about the principal

I can understand how tiring it is especially as ur son wakes you up

Hope u do get some rest as well and that your son and daughter are doing well

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey Mark

I wish I'd found your thread when I came to BB.

I haven't read far back, just a few posts.

Hugs. THIS IS HARD WORK.

These are my suggestions but you know me, you can take them or leave them or say you've tried that, whatever. Never any offence taken at all.

I haven't disclosed much about my professional career but it's pretty much right here.

It's time to reduce your stress as much as possible and there are only SO many ways to do this, no magic wands as you know.

* I'd put a night nappy on your son. I really wouldn't care about who tells you what... it's horrible for both your son and you to have this happen.
* If your son won't wear one then give him his favourite reward FOR doing it.
* WHEN he has say 21 nights dry then that's when you can stop. That's the deal with him. It's not like he wants to do it. It can take decades to stop bed wetting and there it is.

* IF you're concerned about the new Teacher's Aide then I'd ask for a Communication Book to come home or maybe messaging via one of the apps the staff may use for parents.
(Then it's in PRINT... and then there's 'evidence').

* Is there a favourite cereal or such your son likes to eat for breakfast? (I had a child of my own who seemed to never sleep! Most of my children needed little sleep, those baby books were lying lol).
* I used to Glad wrap a bowl of my child's favourite cereal and leave it on the table.
* then I put 1 cup of milk in one of those containers in the fridge with a flip top lid she could reach. Labelled with her name in whiteboard marker. This can wash off.
* It takes a bit of training to unwrap glad wrap and pour the milk but doing this WITH him for while will help him learn how to do it without spilling anything.
* I also did this with a sandwich and cut up fruit all labelled. Then they can get it out and eat what they want.
* A knee rug on the lounge with the TV remote nearby so they can snack on the lounge was FINE BY ME as long as they didn't wake me up!

Yeah I know some ppl will say this is encouraging him to wake up but being alone at night may not.

Maybe worth a try.

EMxxxx

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Em thank ou for the suggestions I have done the night nappy on him and they do leak on occasions or he wakes up with it wet and he wants me to change it.It is 4am here he has not woken up at all unfortunately I did about 3 times.We have had the communication book for a couple of years with the school and we write down the time he wakes up and mood and medication time and they write down how he went during the day.I just hope he manages with the changes of staff at the school.I did send the education minister an email a couple of years about my concerns with the schooling.

The idea of a smaller container of milk is probably a good idea as he seems to spill the milk at of the big bottle.He has been eating toast for breakfast at the moment.I did show him how to user the toaster but it scared him when the toast popped up so now he is scared of it.I keep fruit like straberries or grapes and I have plenty watermelon cut up in the fridge for him so he helps himself with that.

Thank you for caring Em.I had this thread for awhile but haven' had any responses for ages and felt like I was talking to myself.I thought i would dust the cobwebs off it and rejuvenate it.

Take care,

Mark.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi paws Thank you for your suggestions and your suggestions are always welcome .You have this reminded me I do have a chart where I put stars on it when he uses the toilet that the OT gave us but I have up with that but think I will try again with it.He is proud of him self when he does go to the toilet.It would be nice if he could get the hang of it.Make my life a bit easier. A good point is making sure he dosnt drink to much before bed.The problem at the moment is he is having water melon before bed and that's filling up his bladder and I have had a few leaking night nappies.I need to cut back on his watermelon intake at night.

Thank You Paws for your suggestions really appreciate it.

Tale care,

Mark.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Sleepy and then you for your caring words and Thank you for coming on my thread and I hope I get some sleep when they have a few days at their mothers on the weekend.I will be able to manage a a bit of a nap during the day.

Take care,

Mark.

Guest_1643
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

no worries Mark

I'm imagining your son waking you up for his toast... i hope you do get to have a nap 🙂

no sleep for me at all tonight - very bad anxiety. I'm also going to have to need to nap at some point to stay okay

thanks for telling me about ur thread so i could post here