partner is unemployed and has generalised anxiety

[lonergirl]

Hi,

first time here. So my partner 35(M) and I, 39(F) have been together for 17 and half years, since we both graduated from Uni, we are not married and no kids. He started having mental health issues around 7 years ago. At first it was gradual but it has gotten worse over time. The last three years he has been going to a counselor and getting some cognitive therapy. Medicare provides him with 10 free appointments a year. He has not worked for around 5 years now after loosing his last job, which was only a part-time one on quite low wages. He is not entitled to any money or help in finding a job from Centrelink at all, because apparently (at $54,000) I earn far too much. I have been struggling coping with our finances on my own. Due to always working, getting any help for myself to perhaps either see a counselor or financial planner is virtually impossible because i rarely ever take any time off. I also don't have any friends that live near by. I have tried talking to his family about it, but my feeling is that that they don't understand the position I am in, and the amount of stress I am under from coping with all his mental health issues on my own. His symptoms are daily panic attacks, shaking, and sometimes violent rages, he also has frequent nightmares and insomnia. I would describe his symptoms has being similar to PTSD, but that's not actually what he has. He has never physically hurt me in any way but it is often frightening to see what he is going through. The only advice people have given me is that i should break-up with him, but for a lot of reasons, i just don't think I could do it, anyway we still love each other even though times are tough. How do i go about getting support for myself to help me through this?

[white knight]

Hi loner welcome

Your friends suggestion of breaking up is the one reason not to seek their advice again. So sad I feel for your partner.

A few ideas-

If he vould seek a part time job, just a few hours a week it might help his confidence and distract his attention.

budget overhaul!

Radical ideas like seeking cheaper housing in a quieter environment

Listed below are some threads. Reply if you like on them or here. Use google.

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Topic: the financial world of snakes and ladders- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue

Topic: talking to men, some tips- beyondblue

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

I hope they help

Tony WK

[Croix]

Dear Lonergirl~

I'd have to agree with Tony that advice is less than helpful. When you are pressed as you are things can often seem worse than they might, you concentrate on the day to day hassles and have no energy left for anything else.

In order to see a financial planner or a counselor after hours I'd suggest you start by ringing out own 24/7 Help Line on 1300 22 4636 who may be able to put you on to services in your area - something we can't do in this Forum.

Seeing the importance of financial advice to try to get a viable budget do you think making an exception and taking a little time off work for an appointment might be in order?

If he is still experiencing such severe symptoms after three years treatment I'd think his regime needs looking at too. I realize visits to a psychologist are limited by the Health Plan, and not many bulk-bill, however there may be a GP who bulk-bills who can supplement his treatment - again something I'd discuss on the help line.

Do you have anyone you can talk with and bounce ideas off? Even if it is family on the phone it might be a help.

Please let us know how you get on

Croix