I've been trying to be supportive of my partner with their depression for nearly a decade now and I'm still unsure how hard to push them and when to simply support.
They themselves have told me they need a push because without it they find it too easy to fall into a rut. That staying in bed all day is easier than getting up without some kind of push/motivation. I've tried to find that right balance of pushing VS being understanding.
Over the last 2-3 years the amount of pushing I've been doing is starting to be ineffective. I don't want to push more as a past suicide attempt was prompted by feelings of failure and inadequacy, but I'm afraid letting them keep slipping will also have the same result. We use to have a 5 item task list they had to do each day so they can feel accomplished, but it's dwindled down to nearly nothing.
They've expressed that they know these are things they use to be able to do, but just can't. With Covid I'm not sure if I should be giving them the tough love they've asked me to do in the past or if that might be pushing it too far. Even when the only item on the list is to brush their hair.
They use to have a psychologist, but they were actually quite rude and not a good fit the few times I met with them for joint sessions. I actually wasn't too upset when the praticed shut because I thought it meant they'd get new help and hopefully a better perspective. That is until Covid. Now everywhere that we can afford to go to has been booked. They've been on multiple waiting lists for over a year and calling Beyond Blue just makes it worse for them because they tend to mostly get trapped in circles.
I know there likely is no real solution. No way to really be able to tell when I should push and how hard. I just wish I knew what to do to help, but shouting into the void for a bit helps me so thanks for making it this far and listening to me. If people do have advice I will be most appreciative.
