How to help my wife who has a serious psychiatric condition

[Blackboy]

Hi, I'm new here but I hear many good things about Beyond Blue. I hope I can get good advice. My wife of 34 years, who is now 61 years old, has become seriously mentally ill. She has had alcoholism and depressive thinking all her life, but in the last 2 weeks it has got a lot worse. Now she sleeps nearly all day, or at least stays in bed; she eats and drinks very little; she does not take her prescribed medication. Medical professionals have given her very good advice as to how to get back to mental and physical health, but she does not follow the advice. She is getting weaker and has collapsed on the floor 3 times in the last week. She does not want to see her doctor and does not want to go into hospital or any treatment centre. She often drinks wine when I am not looking. I phoned a mental health team to see if she could be taken in for mental health treatment but they said no because she is not actually talking about suicide. She is wasting away and is incapable of simple tasks or of looking after herself. I do whatever I can to help her, but I can't force her to eat or drink or take her medicine or stay off the wine. Nothing I can say cheers her up, she just curls up into a foetal ball and stays in bed. I am sure she is in desperate need of medical and psychiatric care but she won't go. What can I do to get her the help she needs?

Thanks in advance to anyone who can tell me what I can do!

[quirkywords]

Blackboy,

Welcome to the forum. This is a caring, friendly and supportive place.

It must be so sad for you to watch your wife getting weaker and refusing any help that is offered.

When someone affected might not agree that there is any risk or is not willing to reach out for help.

When this happens you can contact the local Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team (CATT) through the closest major public hospital. In some parts of Australia they are called Psychiatric Emergency Teams (PET).
The CATT/ PET is a multi-disciplinary team with Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Social workers and Nurses who provide assessment and support for people who are in crisis with mental illness. Their phone lines are staffed 24 hours a day.

Your local team will conduct an initial phone assessment and may get in contact with other treating practitioners. I understand that the mental health team( which I assume is not a CATT team ) would not help as your wife was not suicidal so I am explain how her behaviour is putting her health at risk and how her lack of eating and drinking wine has lead to her collapsing.

From this assessment they will decide how to best support your wife. This may involve a home visit as their aim is to treat people in the community where possible. However, they may decide that hospitalisation is necessary to ensure the best care.

If you have already rung the CATT team, maybe you could ask her doctor to help you, or you could ring the service again.

It must be so draining for you when she won't help herself, but she may not even have the energy to help herself.

There is the Beyond Blue Support service which offers support advice action 1300 22 4636 which has trained professionals who listen to you.

Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to someone who can offer advice and help or having someone listen.

People reading your post will be able to relate to you.

Please feel free to post when you want to .

Quirky

[Blackboy]

Thank you for your help Quirky. I will keep it in mind. I called an ambulance a couple of nights ago but they said her blood pressure, blood sugar levels and cognitive abilities were normal and they could not take her to hospital against her will. I have managed to get an appointment for her on Monday 3/12 for a psychiatric assessment - her mind is becoming quite deranged - with a view to possible long-term respite care.

I phoned Carers Australia and they were very nice and did their best to be helpful but could not suggest any practical solution. They said her situation was obviously critical and I need to be doing something to look after her. I know that already. At the moment, however, there is nothing I can do except very basic care at home, because neither the mental health people nor the hospital will take her. I am very stressed by the situation. I love my wife and I can see her withering away and getting weaker all the time, without me being able to help in any significant way. It's like she's committing slow suicide by self-neglect. I am pinning all my hopes on this consultation on 3 Dec. Long-term 24/7 care by professionals is what she clearly needs.

I appreciate your kindness in responding.