Hi Puggs
Your son is blessed to have such caring parents, especially yourself who wishes to be careful in taking a gentler approach. I can't help but wonder whether your son's a sensitive guy who's struggling with the ability to sense or identify what's so depressing in his life. As a mum to an 18yo guy and 21yo gal, I've found being honest helps while also leading my kids to get a better sense of what feels challenging to them at times. Being thoughtful in validating their feelings can be so important too. None of that 'Everyone goes through this stage of life or this kind of thing. You'll be right'. More so, 'While I or other people may be able to relate to how you feel and how you're feeling this challenge, you're the only one who can fully feel it from your perspective'.
I've found the honesty part can come down to telling the truth. Kind of along the lines of 'Gee, life is tough at times. There are times where I have no idea how to do life. I can feel so unbelievably lost and it can feel lonely. I want you to know even I need guides during those times. I can't do life without guides on occasion'. Guides can come in so many different forms. Whether they're the people who can lead us to see what we just can't see at the time, such as the way forward, or they're people who can offer us financial guidance, psychological guidance, course guidance in the way of education, a soulful sense of guidance or something else, it sounds like your son has a great and conscious guide in you for a start.
I've found sometimes it can be so hard to get a really good sense of what I'm feeling and it helps if there's someone to lead me to better make sense of my feelings. For example, I could say 'I feel depressed but I can't get a sense of exactly what's depressing me'. Because I've got sensitive kids, they happen to be good at sensing. So, brainstorming can sound a little like them asking 'Can you sense a lack of adventure that could be depressing you or a depressing lack of excitement (which of course doesn't help dopamine levels)?', 'Is there some sense of frustration?', 'Could you be feeling a sense of loneliness and a need to connect with people?' or 'Can you sense a depressing lack of energy, with the need to identify why the energy's not there?'. So, we kind of sit there exploring possibilities until I can feel someone hit on what the challenge is about or what the challenges are about. If your son isn't someone who'd be likely to go see a psychologist, maybe you could lead him to get a sense of needing some form of guidance. Whether that guide ends up being a psychologist, based on you helping him identify that need, or it ends up being a personal trainer/guide at the local gym (in order to experience a change in life and some personal progress), at least you'd be leading him to develop getting a sense of the need for guidance in his life.
