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Help needed

Community Member


i recently walked out on my bi polar fiancé as it got abusive and nasty. I wish I had read Tony's post about the cuppa before doing so, I'm not a confrontational person at all, the is sure I cheated on her which I didn't as she contacted the person and was told the same thing, but still didn't believe either us. She told me she loved me and things would change every time I went back but never did. The last time I went back she hit me again so I walked. It's been nearly three weeks now I haven't heard from her. Her family hate me as they all think I cheated on her, she has told them I am a compulsive liar. I love and miss her so much.

have I made the right decision by leaving, not that I think I will ever see or hear from her again. She is all I have thought about since I left.

259 Replies 259

Community Member
Hi Unsure. Sorry to hear things are difficult at the moment. Sounds like you love her very much. It’s hard when someone is abusive towards you.

Hi here2talk

I do love her very much but my actions by walking hasn't shown that, but it's hard when she doesn't take her medication and now she doesn't trust me at all

G'day Unsure77,

Love can survive much, but it can hold us in painful situations too.

Walking away from being hit again is a very loving thing to do.

Hitting a loved one hurts both people usually.

Walking away is also an expression of loving yourself enough to avoid harm.

Hi David n Goliath

I understand what your saying, but I feel terrible for leaving her when she probably needed me most.

Hi Unsure77, thanks for your understanding. Even a burnt bridge can be rebuilt.

She may benefit from any help you could provide from a safe distance/place or with somebody else present.

eg. Can you safely show her the beyond blue Bipolar disorder webpage?

Could you text/email her a link to that page?

Extending an olive branch in that safe way might help her by showing her you care. At least you will feel less terrible for having tried.

You may come up with a better idea along similar lines...

If you wanted to show full commitment to restoration you could send flowers with a heart felt letter that included gentle direction to aforementioned bb webpage, or similar.

good luck, dng

Community Member
I was reading some other posts very similar to my experience, I also got blamed for everything never said the right things and had all my answers turned twisted and turned on me, it completely broke me I had never felt so useless and down in my life. Again like what others have said she said I make her feel worthless, I don't love her and I don't put her on a pedi stool. I just sat there with no reply either looking at her or the floor while she ripped me. But again I loved and still love her so much, I wish I could have been more resilient and still be with her to do more.

Hi dng

id love to but a week after I left she cleared the house and I don't know where she is or have a number for her.

Also when I have tried emailing saying that I love and miss her I get not so nice replies from the family saying how much I destroyed her and how much she loved me. I know she wasn't taking her medication for the last couple of months even though I asked her to. She thinks I cheated on her which I didn't. Says she has evidence but wouldn't show me. Towards the end I even started to believe I did.

Wise words by David and Goliath. It’s hard to tell what the future will hold...

Your fiancée was diagnosed with bipolar and on medication, was she having any psychotherapy as well?