Concerned

[Floweringtree]

My son lives with me he is a man of 37 has not been diagnosed with any label, he hides in his room, his room is messy.. he will even pee in bottles so he doesn't have to come out of room. He can't keep a job because he takes too many days off. And does not contact his work just doesn't turn up. He is thin hardly eats, he has no motivation has no vehicle because it has to go mechanics can't arrange that, he can't seem to do anything. I have tried to talk to him everything is turned around that I say he sees as an attack on him. It's very stressful I don't know what to do to help him. It's affecting me I don't know how to help him..

[Guest_7403]

Time to have that hard discussion with him.

Softly, softly won't work in this situation.

Set clear boundaries, expectations...and if he doesn't follow them it's probably time to tell him to move on.

Time for him to grow up and stop being a child.

I feel you know this already and just need to hear it.

[TheBigBlue]

It sounds a lot like avoiding, which can be a result of anxiety.

I suffered severe anxiety & depression a few years back & had some similar experience. I was constantly calling in sick to work, sleeping all day, stopped eating, struggled to shower & brush teeth every day & usual daily activities became terrifying. I couldn’t even make a call or book an appointment without intense anxiety. It made me shake, racing heart, struggled to breath etc.

So I avoided everything by staying in my room. I also felt intense shame about my struggle to work, my hygiene, the condition of the house, the lack of courage to ask for help.

im not sure if your some is in a similar situation or there is something else going on, but let him know you are there for support, ready to help if he needs it. That’s what I found I needed most. I needed to not be judged, just to be listened to & believed.

I hope things can improve for you & your son. Good luck