Blue Daughter

[M-_ase]

my daughter is 37 this year, she has always suffered depression, self medicates with alcohol mainly but does use other drugs if available to her. She just separated from her partner of 9 years o ly about 6 or7 weeks ago as they were both drinking to much and it was getting to toxic and violent. They still kept in touch helping each other out. He called her on Wednesday and said they could they catch up. He was in pain as he was having hip surgery in a week. He called her again and said not to worry about it. He died that afternoon. My girl found out the next morning and is just wipeing herself out and was found sitting in the train bridge drinking and luckily a lady found her and walked her home. She is the type of person that gets overly stressed at very small things. She has struggled for the last 15 to 10 years with depression, and drug and alcohol use. I can't have her around me for to long, 2 to 4 days before she is uncontrollable and screaming to the point where I want to hit her. I love her but can't handle her, she won't go to rehabilitation and has said on quite numerous occasions that she might as well be dead and that she should just kill herself. As her partner just passed away it really has hit her hard as he was the only person she would turn to and for it to all go the way it did I just don't know what she is going to do and I don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you. 

[geoff]

Hello M-_ase, a very difficult situation for you and because not only is she 37, but self medicating with alcohol and if drugs are available then those too, makes this very awkward, because going to rehab doesn't mean it's the 100% cure, although it helps many people, but if they associate with the same people again once when they come out, then the temptation is wide open.

Being depressed with any type of depression can certainly lead to self medication, as it did for me, except I didn't do any drugs.

If you don't agree with what she is doing then this makes it extremely difficult for you to be together, which is understandable, because at the moment she becomes another person when intoxicated and using drugs, making the two of you disagree and want to separate from eachother.

First of all you must keep yourself safe, because this is also affecting you in many ways, especially being stressful.

You won't be able to rationalise with her once she starts drinking because she only believes what she thinks when this happens and most probably won't agree with whatever you have to say.

Has her depression been with her the full time as you say, and not had any help with anyone, because the person she needs help with should not just focus on the alcohol/drugs because if they do this, then she won't be interested in seeing them, but that's a hard one.

I'd really like to hear back from you and if I can say, now I haven't had a drink for 31/2 years, but lase get to me.

Geoff.

Life Member.