Anxiety in a 6 year old

Mandis · ‎11-12-2016

Hi, I'm new to this website and I was hoping for some advice. My 6 year old daughter has always been a slightly anxious child. Since starting Kindergarten her anxiety seems to have gotten worse. My doctor wasn't overly concerned until recently when it seems to have spiralled. I have an appointment with a paediatrician who specialises in depression and anxiety in children but it's still 8 weeks away.

I was hoping for some tips on how to help her manage her anxiety. I haven't personally dealt with anxiety and I feel like as much as I try to understand how she is feeling, I'm so lost on how to help her feel better about things.

Her anxiety seems to be over very small (to most children) things - like a wobbly tooth, she had a sore throat and thought she was having an allergic reaction and couldn't breathe, she dropped a small doll out the window while I was driving and was inconsolable and convinced she had caused a car accident when nothing bad had happened. She was having nightmares about it.

Sorry for the long post but I love my daughter so much and I'm finding it so hard to know what to do. She is anxious a lot throughout the day and also cries very easily.

Thanks in advance for an advice. Amanda

pipsy · ‎11-12-2016

Hi Mandis. Welcome to the forums. Is your daughter the only child? Often with an only child they tend to become over anxious about new beginnings in their life. If you have been the main adult in her life, she is possibly scared of starting kindergarten, and if, for some reason you're a bit late collecting her, this could add to her feelings of abandonment. Often children experience abandonment feelings on the first day of school. If they weren't prepared in advance the feeling is magnified because it's a new, scary beginning. When you take her to kindergarten, are you able to stay for a while to help with her transition. Not sure what state you are in, I'm in Qld, children here attend pre-school, usually one or two mornings/afternoons a week. The mothers frequently remain with the child for the first week or so till the child settles and starts making friends. The same for starting school, the mothers are encouraged to remain until the child settles. If you could arrange to stay with your daughter till she's comfortable, it possibly would help the transition period.

Lynda

BballJ · ‎11-12-2016

HI Mandis,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I cannot give any advice relating to anxiety in children as I just don't know how you would approach it, I'm just thinking logically, they more than likely don't understand what they are going through correct? I am sure the paedeitrician will be able to help but do they do the same things as child psychologists? Don't know if they go hand in hand. It seems they will need to work through a little but I do re-call when I was a kid I had anxiety over silly thing and I'll give you an example - I once saw a movie that a kid gave a middle finger in, So i did it one day, i would of been around 8, and I was convinced I introduced the middle finger to Australia and I get into heaps of trouble because of it... I think back and go how silly it is to think that way but I guess as a kid that is how you think, not aware of the rest of the world. I can laugh at it now but at the time i do recall being quite stressed about it, I grew out of it in the end to a degree thinking like that however. Please don't think I am comparing what I did to what your child is going through, as their's seems a lot deeper.

My best for the both of you,

Jay

Zeal · ‎11-12-2016

Hi Amanda,

Welcome to the forum!

I am so sorry to hear that your six year old daughter is struggling with anxiety. The intense fear that dropping the doll out the car window could cause a car accident, and thus harm to others, sounds a bit like OCD. However, the overall description you gave sounds like Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I am not a doctor, and this is based on what I've learned in my psychology degree and from my personal experience with anxiety and OCD.

It is great that you have secured an appointment with a paediatrician, but unfortunate that it's two months away. You are doing all you can to help your daughter, which includes coming here for advice. There is a great Beyondblue Healthy Families site that has great info on helping children with their mental health, as well as other tips. Here is the website link: https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/ Within this site, this page has useful info on helping kids with anxiety: https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/age-6-12/mental-health-conditions-in-children/anxiety-in-children You can explore the site, as there are many great fact pages.

It's helpful to explain to your daughter that the fearful thoughts she has are not accurate and that thinking these things doesn't mean they're true. For example, if your daughter doesn't have allergies and has never had an allergic reaction before, remind her of this. Regarding the doll situation, you could explain to her that all cars are very heavy and that their tyres would run straight over the doll. While this won't eliminate the worry necessarily, it could still help.

Just for context, I was diagnosed with OCD/anxiety at 13. I still have anxiety now, at age 23, but it is manageable and doesn't prevent me from having a fulfilling life. Like you, my Mum is very supportive.

I hope that our replies have been helpful! If you have any more questions or would like to talk further, you can post back here anytime.

Best wishes,

Zeal

Traveller73 · ‎21-12-2016

I think Anxiety is in part hereditary. My mum has really bad social anxiety and I have GAD. My grandmother worries alot too-her husband and my grandfather was killed suddenly in a hit'nrun accident when my mum was 6. I have a daughter too whom I think experiences anxiety. I try not impart my worrying behaviour on to her, but it is hard. I spoke to a Dr at length about my daughters worries and she said I should share the things I have learnt about anxiety (strategies) with her-mindfulness is a good one- go for a walk and take turns naming 5 sounds,5things see, 5 things feel/touch. Explain to do this when worried. Deep breathing too, breathe in 4 secs and out 4 secs. Do colouring books. Importantly spend time talking about worries and strategy to resolve/problem solve. A worry is only around if unresolvedproblems, so resolve them. If not solvable use mindfulness to distract. Good luck.

Soozette · ‎03-02-2017

Hi Mandis,

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's anxiety. I have an 11-year-old son who has suffered from anxiety since he was about three years old.

I found the best results have come from him seeing a good child psychologist who uses cognitive behavioural therapy to work through his anxieties. There are also some good online programs for kids with anxiety, specifically one called BRAVE (and I'm sure Beyond Blue has one too!). I also bought a book online for my son to work through, called What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner, which he really liked.

Good luck and I wish you all the very best. It's a tough road but with the right help and support, you'll both get through it. 🙂