14 yr old daughter with anxiety and school refusal

[sarah__]

First time poster in desperation of advice of those going through the same trauma. As I sit here with teary eyes I feel alone and helpless on this path of raising a teenager with mental health. ( diagnosed generalized anxiety and I think possible depression ) Constant school refusal ( 4 yrs ) , GP visits, physiologist, mental health visits long wait times and plenty of hospital visits I wonder will there be light at the end of the tunnel. My daughter wants to become home schooled, feeling that school is her major contributor of her anxiety, I'm actually considering it after years of stress,fights and violent outburst !!!! really don't know if I should though given the negative feedback and the importance of social inclusion. But will it stop this hideous roller coaster ?My husband is supportive and my daughter is in a safe loving family ( 12 yr old brother) who are severely being affected daily be her mental health. We are now waiting again in line to see a physicist in hope they can help with some miracle pill !!!! This is just a snap shot of the daily stresses that I'm sure if your reading this can understand. I feel helpless, like I've failed as a parent, like I'm failing my other child and husband and just SAD like I'm the only one going though this. Thanks for reading just needed to get my feelings off my chest to those who understand.

[pinkkookaburra99]

Jeez, I’m not gonna sugar-coat anything, that sounds awful. I think it’s important to remember to take care of yourself too, your mental health is suffering. I REALLY recommend you seeing a clinical psych, to help deal with your stress and family conflict, because this is way too much for one person to deal with. They could also explain your daughter’s condition more.

Have you considered expanding your support system? Anyone with a family member with mental illness needs a strong support system.

When I was a kid my school taught me this ’handy hand’ thing. Basically, you should come up with 5 different people you can rely on and ask for help, one for each finger. (I think the palm of your hand is meant to be the police or something? Probably not as relevant for you).

So your 5 people could be: Hubby, best friend, sister, work friend, GP or whatever is relevant to you.

The idea is that when you need help, you ask someone on your hand. If they can’t help, you ask another. You keep going and going and going until you get the help you need, adding more / replacing fingers as you need.

Hopefully your daughter’s school is helpful, although I know this isn’t always the case. Has she tried doing a half-timetable? She probably has but I thought I’d suggest anyway. I’ve heard there are also specialty schools, with small class sizes that are designed for students with difficult circumstances (not special learning needs necessarily, but things like severe mental illness). That might be a good solution.

You’re right in saying home-schooling can limit social circles, that’s true. The only person I knew who did homeschooling did so due to a health condition, but as a result he had very few friends. It’s a bit of a toss up, but at this point it sounds as though your daughter’s issues are very severe. If you decide to homeschool, that’s very understandable.

I just also want to remind you that you are a good mother, you are doing so much to help your daughter.