Visualising it

[Guest_7403]

I've been feeling a sense of hopelessness, moreso recently then in quite a while.

I'm not a stage where I'm ready to act, but its always in my mind.

The thoughts feel fleeting, and not deliberate, just a thought that pops into my head momentarily.

Ive been googling lately, I don't know why I do it....its usually late at night when i realise im alone in the world and only feel pain inside.

Again, im not going to act on it...perhaps it gives me some relief in knowing I could ease that pain if it were to become any more unbearable.

Thanks for the space, just putting these thoughts into words.

[Chris_Tas]

May I please ask a question?

When do these "suicide" moments hit you?

It's ok if you don't know yet.

[Chris_Tas]

And no, don't "act" on anything.

That isn't your answer to why you are feeling as you do.

[geoff]

Hello Guest, I'm really sorry you are having these thoughts and know that when this happens it could be a way to end emotional or physical pain that someone is experiencing, or to resolve stressful life experiences, however, unfortunately, it's a decision that can't be reversed.

There may be situations that overwhelm you at times and you can't see an alternative and by googling it may be able to give you some relief, but instead, it might make you realise that that's not a choice you want to make, which we are so pleased about.

You can talk with people as you probaby know, who will be able to discuss your thoughts and try to direct your mind to other areas to avoid making this decision, that's all we hope for.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Thanks for sharing how you are feeling Guest.

Would it be comforting for you to know there may be many people out there experiencing similar thoughts to you. Wanting their pain and loneliness to end and not really knowing what will help.

Have you tried phoning support services like Beyond Blue, Life Line, Suicide Call Back when you are feeling so low.

After you have Googled methods, could you Google something like Positive thoughts to help you through, look for cute animal clips, huge waves of the world's oceans, something that interests you or anything else to put your mind in a different place.

Having those thoughts is not pleasant. I am sure many of us here have them but never want to act upon them.

Hope you can find some help and support, and ways to minimise the effect these thoughts have on you.

[ChildHeart]

Hi, there 7403,

I don't know if this will get a smile or a chuckle out of you, but your username makes me think of the movie You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan's character is trying to figure out why the guy she's been talking to has his username set as NY152. "Mr 152... insights into my SOUL".

Onto your thoughts and feelings. First of all, thank you for sharing as I know it's not easy to do so and trust me, you have come to a good place for support.

I agree with what has been said already with the googling. It would be in your best interest not to randomly google such topics as it can lead to confusion and misinformation. However, at least here you can talk to people who have been through similar situations and have the training and knowledge in dealing with the matters you are going through.

What I am noticing here is that I am not alone in how I thought/think because I too know I'm not going to act (I did when I was in my teens I'm now in my 30s). I think the knowledge that the option is there and that we have a choice in a strange way offers us a level of comfort but what's important to remember is that by not acting we are choosing life. Even if things are hard and we feel helpless at times, we chose to be here and that deserves some credit. It shows strength and hope for a better tomorrow, which we often don't see in ourselves but it is there (people have been telling me this since I came to the forums and I was - still am- in disbelief at my strength) but you are my friend, you are strong.

Keep reaching out we are all here to listen and support you.