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Time to go

Rod32
Community Member
I've read a lot of the posts, now I know I'm a pathetic looser. Loneliness after wife left, all friends were joint and now I have no contact from them. I have a 20yo son who is my world, my daughter 18 loves me however she is very much like her mother. Lost my two children from my previous marriage, son murdered 2016 and daughter died 2013 wife left 2019. I have tried to cope for my children's sake but now they are older an in relationship I'm not really needed now.  Rambling a bit now sorry, really had mostly a good life but the hurt and pain to much now, hard type through tears.
43 Replies 43

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hey Rod,

We are so glad that you've reached out tonight. It sounds like you have been through so much stress in your life and we can see why you would be experiencing so much pain and grief. Please know that there a good times ahead and from your post it sounds like your children love you and would really want you to stay. We've sent you a private message to check in with you and would really appreciate it if you could get back to us there. 
 
We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

Please remember that if at any point you become an immediate danger to yourself, this is an emergency and you should contact 000 (triple zero).

missep123
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Rod32,

I hear your pain, please know that it sounds like you are an amazing and caring parent. It sounds like you have so much pain on your shoulders. I wish I knew exactly what to say but I really wanted to post and show support, please know that you are not alone and please reach out here and if you are comfortable to call the counsellors that Sophie has mentioned above.

We are here for you please feel free to continue reaching out and please call 000 (triple zero) if you become an immediate danger to yourself

we care about you

YorkeYorke
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I also do not have the answers, but wanted to show some support. You sound like you've faced some immense challenging over the last 10 years with your wife and children. You've also shown such care hanging in there for your children and their wellbeing.

It sounds like you care deeply about your son which is reciprocated, which is a special connection to have. I'm sure your son wants to see you continue on to share experiences together.

We care and are here to listen

Mishmo
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Oh no, what posts made you feel that way? You are most definitely not that.

My heart breaks for all the loss you have had to suffer through. I hear you have much love and care in you and you have tried to keep yourself together and strong for everyone else around you for so long? ..and now its all beginning to come to a head, all at once? That is never easy to deal with for anyone.

Cry all you need, let it all out. Feel free to ramble away without judgement here.

We are all suffering from something. We try our best to be supportive and great listeners. Well I most definitely do and try.

Feel free to reach out anytime. My names Renee. Lovely to make your acquaintance Rod. Sending hugs and tissues.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Rod, I am truly so sorry for all of this loss in your life, words are so difficult to convey but you certainly have all the support you need and understand that now your wife has left you, it would be difficult for your friends to know who they should converse with, because if a couple talks with your wife, you may feel as though they favour her, but not necessarily, it may just be because that situation suddenly eventuated, but I do understand how you are feeling.

Once our children are in their own relationship or married we naturally believe that they will be able to cope with any problems themselves, however, as I've learnt, this isn't true, they still need their parent/s for advice and to help them out financially no matter how old they become.

We want you to know that as what has been said, we are here for you to talk to us.

Take care.

Geoff.

Rod32
Community Member

Thanks Renee your words help, you sound so compassionate and a beautiful person, wish I had met someone like you in my life.

 

Rod32
Community Member

Thanks for trying to help, It's so hard not having a woman by my side, lost my wife,lover and what I thought was my best friend, just don't understand what I did wrong, I am older than my ex, I think she just found someone younger.

I can't discuss this with my son for fear that it would alienate him from his mother, he resents her leaving now. I just can't hurt him, when I'm gone he will need his mum.

Mishmo
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Well here I am... u have met me now. I am a real person by the way 🙂 Pls dont give up just yet.

How are you feeling today? Hows your emotional rollercoaster? I today am not the best, very low and internal emotions are frustrating me (maybe time to take a nap and hope they calm, yes i know they most likely wont, but i must stay hopeful)

It is so hard to suffer these things we are suffering through... let alone trying to parent also. I only have one son, who is 12. Without him I think I would be exactly the same as you are feeling. I have never been married. Only been used by men and discarded for better. I know I have my issues mentally, but never good enough I guess. Its hard. My son is fatherless (also been discarded). So he only has me, so I have to try keep strong on my own.

Even in a place like Melbourne, millions of people, i still feel alone.

Hi Rod32,

Thank you for updating us here on your thread. We're sorry you're going through such a difficult time and not feeling like you have someone there to talk it over with.

We're reaching out to you privately, but just so you know, our kind counsellors are here for you to talk to anytime if you'd like to give them a call on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach them via online chat, here.

Thanks again for sharing here, it shows such bravery and can be the first step towards feeling better. 

Kind regards,

Sophie M