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Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?

romantic_thi3f
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi everyone,

This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important.

I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons.

Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too.

The reasons why I chose to stay -

- My dogs.

- Planning to die was very complicated.

- I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better.

and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.

707 Replies 707

Helli
Community Member
Tess2 said:Ok don’t know what is keeping me here. Hope and fear. I hope things will improve and I fear any attempt at suicide not working, the thought of waking up alive fills me with dread.

This is me too. Not so much on the hope anymore though. If there was a way that was 100% guaranteed and 100% painless, I doubt I still would be here.
I am glad your children keep you here though. That's a pretty powerful reason to hang around.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Tess,

Im so really pleased that you have people that you love and that they love you as well..

Tomorrow..We never know what's around the corner, I think it's worth the fight and wait to see what it is...Please I know it's hard, but Tess please believe in this...Don't ever give up on hope...

Grandy..

Setsail001
Community Member
Seeing the beautiful sun come through the clouds, hearing birds chirping, my family and friends... my cat meowing at me when he is hungry 🙂

emstan77
Community Member
Eminems music

That was so relatable it made me want to cry 😞

Sarzy61
Community Member

Hi Tess,

Isn't anxiety just so unbearable. I've had it every 5 yrs since I was 35. Am now 56. It usually lasted for 6 months.

You are much braver than I. Hope you are getting some help from these nice people.

You deserve a better future. Hope the sale is over soon.

Regards, Nick

Tess2
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Thank you nick, i hope you feel a bit better today. Thank you for responding

Stillme
Community Member

This a hard forum to read but I'm glad you started it, thanks.

I stay for my kids, only them. I know my youngest is prone to BD like me, and I can't bear the thought of them not having a mum. This disorder is hard, it's stigmatising still and misunderstood. My energy levels are so variable, I lost (quit) an excellent lecturing position last year when I was severely manic (and then diagnosed). I was misdiagnosed at emergency presentation about a decade ago, I feel the disorder has established pretty chronic cycles during that time frame. My broader family don't seen to get it, they seem scared to really get into the crux of it, talk about it. I have friends but they have lives too. I have given up at the moment of working professionally again right now, I am just trying to survive and be a good mum, which I am. Medications don't agree with me as I found out I have another gene abnormality which makes medications harder for me to process. In saying that, I think I'm about to go back on a medication. I have cared for people all my life, within my family & friends & professionally, and gee I've never felt so alone, stigmatised, worthless. I've been really shocked at how poorly my loved ones deal with it. I feel so tired. I'm trying to do some more study atm, to commit to something but I'm frustrated by that too, my intelligence is something I've always valued dearly but my brain's energy & functional ability just fluctuate so much now, I just feel like I'm living as a shell of myself. Sorry, this is a negative post and not uplifting like some of the others.

I stay for my kids. When I am well I love life, nature, music, all of it.

Guest_5748
Community Member

i feel painfully visible but completely ignored.

i want people to care

Chloe_M
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

hi sgammi

just letting you know that youre not alone

we here are here for you if you want to talk to someone x

Chloe 🙂