Like others I think of suicide basically constantly.
It's like a someone whispering in me ear that I can't stop as my life otherwise is (mostly) ok.
I told my parents again but they just said Im an attention seeker that using it as an excuse not to work.
That is far from the trust as when I tell them I'm suicidal they laugh and then get angry.
It's so difficult as it makes my suicidal thoughts worse but they seem completely oblivious.
Anyway stay safe all.
Thank you for your reply.
Yes after 20 years living in a marriage etc I moved back with parents. (after my daughter stolen by Ex)
For my own circumstances it's been a shocking experience despite great intentions (I'm 40, lawyer, independent etc)
I need to find new accommodation as this clearly is only making my mental health worse (they have a beautiful home but that's irrelevant to me).
Thank you again to you and all members for your ongoing support.
Hi Chris, welcome to the forums.
I have never met anyone who uses being suicidal as an excuse not to work. I don't believe that's a thing. I believe Ur parents are wrong.
That said, it's very hard sometimes to disagree with authority figures. The best I think is to ask others who have empathy to help with Ur situation, and hear and know the truth, that u are worthy of help, not being dramatic, and deserve always, to be believed and helped. That's Ur right. Much support
I'm so sorry to hear that! It sounds like the people you trust aren't taking your cries for help seriously and it's upsetting to see! You must know that what you're feeling is real and valid regardless of what others may think! You are so incredibly strong and such a fighter for coming as far as you have! I know what it's like to lose someone and to be in a position to end it all and I know that it may be impossible to believe that you are loved and valued but trust me you are! It was absolutely devastating for me when I lost a close friend to suicide but I also know that when you're feeling suicidal yourself it can feel like it's impossible to believe that there are people out there who truly love and care for you but they are out there! Your friends and family do want the best for you even if it may not always come across that way in saying that you've been so brave speaking up and you must know that you're not being judged for it. We won't hurt you for doing so....we'll help guide you in the right direction because that's what we're here for! You are not alone in this fight and I know how extreme the isolation can feel but these feelings will come to an end and it's so important to remember that! There's nothing wrong in reaching out to a mental health professional to seek help regardless of what others may think, only you can know how you truly feel. Keep going because you're doing so well and we're all here to support and help you through this in whatever way we can! Keep reaching out whenever you feel like you need to! It's not weak...it's strong!
I feel for you so much as your parent's responses are heartbreaking. While your Dad's comment is undeniably depressing and thoughtless, your mum's view does not acknowledge the incredible mind altering and exhausting work it takes to stay alive while in the depths of depression.
I've found, while being sensitive comes with many great abilities, it also comes with many great challenges. While we may be sensitive enough to feel when we can't navigate alone on a part of our path that is so dark, while we may be sensitive enough to feel when someone truly loves us and sensitive enough to feel whether a job is right for us or not, we can also be sensitive enough to feel heartbreak through the depressing nature of those who can challenge us the most, those who are perhaps supposed to support us more than anyone else. it can be such a massive challenge to separate our self from them.
While some may equate sensitivity with weakness, I believe sensitivity relates to our ability to simply sense. Often it is those who are the most attuned (to sensing/feeling the intensity of challenges) that prove to be the strongest and the most conscious. For others, it typically takes no great effort on their part to remain closed minded and insensitive.
As previous, I wish I could reply individually to each post as so much fantastic advice and support.
I am extremely thankful, humbled in fact. I've read the posts many times.
So the Acute Royal Hobart care team turned up today - part of being suicidal and I think is a great service.
So I sit down with them and my own mother says "I'm sorry my son is a psycho and a loser, I promise it's not my fault".
Both looked completely shocked but handled it well, and we ended up having a great discussion. (my mother wanted to listen but was told to leave....multiple times)
So yeah, I'm committed to doing further counselling both mental and alcohol wise as that's my pathway to move forward.
Clearly moving out and not hearing those comments I was told are not helpful in any way. In fact the Dr said quite dangerous to hear.
Thank you again all. Just my update.
Hi Chris, I'm really glad they came and helped you.
I'm impressed how they handled Ur mother .
She was only making things worse and u do not deserve to hear her comments, which frankly, constitute abuse.
People are not bad for needing hospital service to assist them with their health. When I see ppl seeking hospital support, respite, recovery support, or admission or rehab for any kind of health issue, which mh is, I admire them.
Thank you Sleepy. (and everyone else)
Yes the pair were fantastic in dealing with Mum and I'm very grateful to have that support.
Yeah i agree it's abuse but mum doesn't seem to understand- I have a Psych appt and alcohol counselling and she said "go enjoy time with drunk, psycho losers like you. I wish you weren't born"
That no longer upsets me as Psychiatrists said I'm dealing with my issues and ignore that (yes easier said than done but I'm committed to getting better).
I appreciate your support as yes, people independently have said exactly the same.
Takes courage to seek help I've been told and I encourage anyone who is struggling to do the same as help is definitely there.
So please look after yourselves as if i can move forward and realise I need help trust me anyone can.
Thank you for your reply.
The Acute Hobart Care Team sounded great I’m glad that their service helped you..
Im really sorry that your mum speaks to you the way she does, some times some people just don’t understand…… it takes someone to want to open their mind to understand. Please know Chris what your mum is saying is a reflection of herself, she’s showing you who she is.
Its not you.
I hope your phyc appointment goes well and your alcohol counselling I think it’s great that you are doing this Chris it really will help you to move forward.
Well done for seeking help Chris it really does take courage you will have ups and downs in your recovery but the ups will begin to our weigh the downs just stick with it.
Always here to chat to you