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Relapsing

LJpd81
Community Member
Has anyone ever felt they were going ok, and felt they were ok, but then situations or ways of thinking or changes of thought, and suddenly relapsed? What I mean is I was getting better, then suddenly wanting to self harm again? I've been going ok, but the last few days has had strong urges. 
18 Replies 18

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello LJpd, I'm sorry I missed your last comment.

Sometimes when we email our psychologist, it's all in good faith, but need their opinion to help us, however, money rules the world and they will try and assist you initially, but eventually realise that they are being paid for this privilege and this could be the reason why you may not hear back from them.

All psych's are different and this also depends on the seriousness of the matter, as I have rung my psych but told she was in a counselling session nd by the time she rang me back, my attitude had changed.

Friends do have their own issues to cope with, and if they want help, then they'd talk with you, but if they ring you, they are worried about you, that's why they have rung, and at times people can put their own problems aside because they really want to help you.

I understand exactly what you have said.

My best.

Geoff.

LJpd81
Community Member

I hope you are ok now.

I have these terrible thoughts go through my head, some too shocking to share

LJpd81
Community Member

Yes makes sense. My psychologist emailed this morning and said she's been busy. But in my mind , I feel like she doesn't care. She does, but I really need help.

My next session isn't until this Monday.

When I really need her , she isn't there. And she's the one person who knows everything.

I went to my doctor yesterday and was more truthful with her. She now knows, I drink more than she knew before. And that I've attempted to and thought more of self harming lately.

I have also today started back on medication, so feel foggy headed and tired.

Hi LJ,

Thank you for your bravery in being open about this here. It sounds like you’ve taken some really good steps in opening up with the GP, and starting a new medication. We're sorry you're feeling foggy headed, it's well worth keeping your prescribing doctor up-to-date on how it's going. 

We are concerned about you and are reaching out to you privately to offer some more immediate support. If you wanted to connect with our counsellors directly, you can do so by calling the Beyond Blue Support Line on 1300 22 4636. The counsellors there are super kind and supportive, they’re understanding and can be good to talk to right in the midst of these feelings, or at any moment so that you can work out your next steps in getting more support together with them on the phone. You can also reach them via Online Chat here.

If you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple zero).

We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Is there anything you've found that helps you through moments like this?

Kind regards,

Sophie M

LJpd81
Community Member

Sorry for the late reply.

I'm ok and doing better.

I've been taking the medication and still feeling off in the head. Really tired, groggy, sick. But mentally a little better.

Thanks for the call too.

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello LJpd, can I ask if you are taking the same medication or has your doctor changed it and if so, then it will take a week or so for your body to adjust.

Please keep well.

Geoff.

therising
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi LJpd81

You sound like you're a combination of wonderful (full of wonder) and a feeler (someone who feels just about everything). Being a gal who's a wonderful feeler myself, I can relate to how great this combo can be when life's going really well and also when life appears to be be mind altering and challenging in a dark and deeply confusing or disturbing kind of way. Two very different sides of the same coin you could say.

Can also relate to the need to drink. I used to be quite a drinker. Wondering if you can relate to it as being an emotional regulator to some degree. If I was upset, I'd drink to feel a sense of peace. If I felt low, I'd drink to feel high. Socially anxious, I'd drink to feel confident. Thinking too much, I'd drink to be more thoughtless. Long list, so I won't go on. When I came out of depression some years back, my brain and body suddenly just didn't like alcohol. It was weird. Just the smell of it would make me feel ill. Managing life without alcohol was what I was led to do. Under the circumstances, I was led to wonder more than ever before and I was led to question my feelings more than ever before. If I wanted to stay out of depression, there was no choice.

While alcohol is widely regarded as a depressant, I found it's also a bit of a suppressant too. Without it, every potentially depressing thing rises to the surface, to address. Whether we're facing the depressing feelings that are telling us we're in a destructive relationship we need to work through or get out of, whether we're facing a time of our life where we need to begin developing a solid circle of 'go to' people for help or general well being or whether we're facing a significant disruption to our body leading to low and debilitating levels of energy, we'll feel it all.

Chances are, if you're a champion in the way of feeling, what you could be feeling is something you've touched on. Maybe what you're feeling is a chemical imbalance. You could be spot on. In this case, choose your GP wisely. While one GP may dismiss your suspicions by saying something like 'Life is typically tough and exhausting for a mum. You're just going through a stage' (before sending you on your way, grrr), another may be just as wonderful as you. The wonderful one will also wonder about a possible chemical imbalance. I've found wonderful GPs are the best ones to have on your side. They're like medical detectives, always looking for clues.

'What are you feeling?' is the ultimate question 🙂

Chris_Tas
Community Member

I respect you on recognising the call you have received.

It's an amazing service we have and should never be underestimated.

james1
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hey LJpd81,

Just wanted to pop by and ask how you are going? No need to reply if you don't feel up to it, but just wanted to let you know that you have support here whenever you need it

James