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Relapsing

LJpd81
Community Member
Has anyone ever felt they were going ok, and felt they were ok, but then situations or ways of thinking or changes of thought, and suddenly relapsed? What I mean is I was getting better, then suddenly wanting to self harm again? I've been going ok, but the last few days has had strong urges. 
18 Replies 18

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator

Dear LJpd81,

Thank you for your continued support and courage in our community! We hope you are getting as much of out the experience as you are putting in!Certainly, Relapse can feel distressing to any who have experienced it; yet it is crucial to remember that lapse and relapse is known to be a normal and important part of recovery cycles, regardless of whether you are discussing addiction, relationship breakdown, physical training, and yes - self-harm and ideation. 

It is extremely important in those moments to hold onto the knowledge that you had a period of doing well - you can do well; you will do well again!
From there - setting goals is a step that can make the future feel solid: perhaps this last positive period lasted 10 days - next time it will last 11. This time you made 3 positive choices a day - what do you need to make 5 positive choices?

Never forget - smokers on average quite smoking between 9 to 11 attempts before they quit. You are not stuck in a circle - it's a spiral staircase. 

Always remember to reach out to us anytime, 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 - but if you are really struggling to stay safe, then this is an emergency - please do not hesitate to contact 000 immediately!

Stay in touch!
Regards,

​​​​​​​Sophie M. 
 

james1
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello LJpd81,

I guess the really simple answer is yes. I had that experience a few times and it felt really frustrating and scary, as I really didn't want to relapse.

I think the way I think of it now is that there will be times when I feel like things are getting worse, and thankfully I'm a lot better at catching it early now. So that's when I tend to do the things that I know really help me - catching up with a friend or two, taking it easier at work, taking the pressure off going to events (I'm pretty introverted). These moments tend to pass, and I think it gives me more confidence each time.

So I think it's actually really great that you were able to reach out to us about this, because it's so important you're not dealing with it on your own. Let us know how you are going, and if you'd like, it'd be nice to hear what kind of supports you have.

James

LJpd81
Community Member

Sometimes what if I have a mental illness and what I've I'm going to be like this for life? I've always been a happy and positive person. But my mind can't stop and constantly thinks bad and tortured thoughts. And lately I'm thinking of s/h again the minute I'm upset.

I'm drinking more. I know it's bad, but alcohol I my trigger and I can't stop.

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello LJpd, when we are suffering from any type of mental illness, there may be times when we think we are travelling OK, but there could be trigger points that suddenly surprise us, that we have not expected, and being in this condition is different than when you don't have any mental problems, simply because you can still keep doing what you're able to, rather than with this illness, you aren't able to cope and may then relapse.

We need our therapist to help us understand another strategy so we can try and move on when some unknown trigger point confronts us, and not to be consumed by the repercussions.

I know that alcohol may temporarily advert this, but it could cause any inhabitations from doing what you would not do normally do if you are intoxicated.

Please be careful.

Geoff.

LJpd81
Community Member

Thanks so much. Sorry for the late reply.

2 nights ago. I was so low and very sad. Cried like baby and emailed my psychologist while drunk. I felt so awful.

I did talk to a Beyond Blue counsellor which was a little helpful.

Yesterday I felt awful and so tired,and today I was happier. Drinking now and alcohol is definitely my trigger. I'm not sad every time. Just most times lately.

LJpd81
Community Member

I'm really struggling today and I'm sure no one cares.

I got my flu vaccination today and when I was at the shops, i felt teary about probably would have burst into tears if I didn't care I was in public.

I've been in a depressed mood all day.

I came home and been laying down all day.

My heart has been pounding. Not sure if it's an anxious thing. As my doctor is worried about my blood pressure.

I'm super anxious as I've sent my psychologist a few emails and no response as of yet. She's probably busy and will reply later. But my anxiety and depression levels are through the roof.

She offered me a last minute session for today but unfortunately I had to decline due to money. A bit sad on that as could have used a session.

Feeling worthless and sad

Hey LJ,

Thank you for sharing an update. We're really sorry to hear you're struggling today. We hope you know that we care, and you can reach out to our counsellors anytime you'd like to talk it through. It's good to hear we were able to help recently, thank you for sharing that. 

We're sorry to hear you've had a heart-pounding feeling - that must be really unpleasant. It's definitely something other community members have mentioned (there's a great discussion on physical symptoms of anxiety here!) but it's always worth checking in with the GP if you're feeling worried about a physical symptom and unsure of the cause. 

We can hear it's really frustrating not to have been able to take that session due to money. We're glad you could share what's going on here though. 

Is there anything that's helped or distracted you today?

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

LJpd81
Community Member

Thanks so much.

Wine has helped me this afternoon. I know terrible of me. I'm watching at show, so I guess that's distracing.

I did end up hearing from my psychologist. My next session is next Monday so not far away.

I just feel frustrated when I don't get responses as often as I'd like. I know she's busy so I understand that.

I did actually confide in my husband and family today that I've been feeling mentally not myself lately. They are great. I feel have to be quiet and not worry them.

I wanted to speak to my best friend last night. Then she rung me but then I didn't feel like talking. And that's not normally me. She's worried about me. I feel bad as she has her own issues, that are way more important.

My heart is probably pounding due to both anxiety and high blood pressure, which is likely due to alcohol. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow after work. I'm wondering if I should confide more in her.

I'm wondering if I need medication again. I was on it last year but stopped.

I feel I have a chemical imbalance or something.

Chris_Tas
Community Member

Considering I thought "was fine" and still 4 stays in suicide it's fair to say you are far from alone.

Relapsing, feeling good to feeling shocking, isn't a straight line and everyone is different and for me it can change wildly (and scarily)

That's why if you ever feel unsafe go to hospital immediately.

You are very normal.