I want to ask for help
Trying to take sides in an argument is not that good an idea, it may well make things worse for a start. A better alternative is to let parents know how upsetting they are both being and leave them to it.
Sadly going to each school, which were not near each other, not always the same country, meant those friendships did not last. Simply too many new things in new places plus kids in my generation did not write that much and phones were expensive , used by adults only for important calls. I was given and had to keep two pennies (around 4 cents) for an emergency call from a phone-box and that was it.
I did go back and visit one 10 years later in the UK, things had changed and we had different lives. Please to see each other but not much to talk about like we used to. Sad
Since then new long lasting friendships have blossomed, even one over 30 years.
If you think that talking to your psych is too much of a risk, have several sessions the the same therapist on the Kids Help Line (phone or chat) and discuss what to do if your parents are the problem. If their presence is stopping you getting decent help then there has to be something that can be done.
I'll have to try and put in another three pigs joke on Wednesday:)
I am really glad you talked to a KHL counsellor.
You are lucky. Essays are time-consuming. I have to write one on Pieces of Sky. The book was pretty good though, better than the last one at least, lol.
I am really glad you have some teachers that are nice and you can talk to.
Lol, so many people love to gossip.
I have this PE teacher, who is pretty nice, she is actually the person who made me talk to the school counsellor and coordinator.
You are right, I guess I have to choose sitting with toxic friends or by myself. I just don't want to be that barrier and the person who makes things awkward with the nicer friends. I will have to find out a way to withdraw from the toxic friends somehow. Whenever I do, they start asking me what they did and saying that there is something wrong with me.
Please don't apologise, you are a lot of help.
I am really sorry that your dad lost his job.
Going out for greek food sounds fun, but I am really sorry your family doesn't last on one table. My family, try to act normal when we go out, we stay on one table, no arguments, fake kindness and yeah, but it's funny though, because it is so different than at home, lol.
My school counsellor, i don't know if she has been that helpful, but I know that the depression and low self-esteem information sheets she gives me aren't, they make me feel weird and aren't helpful. But she is alright, I guess, sometimes to talk to. I am doing alright as its been a few days after.
How are you doing?
I think you are right, I will try to contact my grandmother somehow.
You are a really kind and empathetic person, I am thankful too that I get to talk to someone like you,
I think you are right. I shouldn't take sides and it will make things worse. As I will end up losing one. I will try to tell them.
I am really sorry your positive friendships from school didn't last due to moving away. But it is amazing, that one of your friendship lasted over 30 years!
I will try to talk to KHL again. I don't why but when I talked to one of the counsellors there, it felt rushed and I felt like they didn't want to talk to me. Also the waiting times are really long, lol. But I will try it again.
Thank you Croix for talking to me 🙂 and I can't wait to read your Three Little Pigs joke on Wednesday!
You asked a pretty serious question
"how did you get out of it? Recently I've been trying to find something
to look forward to but I'm struggling. I used to see a future for
myself, but I don't any more"
It deserves a serious answer, though if you make any sense out of it I don't know, I hope you do.
I was in a job that was toxic for me, in fact I ended up suicidal becuse of it. However I did nothing but hang on. Unlike fear of parents and peers I had fear of losing job, wages, identity, occupation and more. I was also afraid I'd be locked up in a hospital if I said anything and like you considered it was all my own fault.
Well I left it too long and lost the job anyway, in fact it was more question I could no longer do it. This made me feel more useless than ever so I decided to take my life and made preparations .At that point I had a thought, It was about humor (though I guess it could be about many things) and I came to realize there had to be something better. If I had humor in me waiting to be used I had more in front of me in life than I'd thought.
So I waited, told my partner the truth (I had always hidden the matter from everyone before) and went to a psych. I was asked if I'd voluntarily go into hospital for a bit, to try out medicines and therapies and I agreed. It had to be better than the way I'd been living.
That hospital stay was not the end of the matter, but it showed me a break, no pressure. Worth it.
I stuck with therapy and meds and gradually improved. Whenever I've thought things were so bad I wanted to take my life I've remembered I've been though that already and survived. It's a comforting thought.
There is more to it, but that was the turning point for me. Asking for help and getting a competent response
As I've said before, now I'm good. I enjoy things. I'd like that for you. You just have not had the thought that fits you yet.
No your mental health is not 100%, but that does not mean that it will not get better. You were given a choice over the ambulance, that should tell you something -the chat lady respected your judgment and trusted you.
Now I'll mention something to you, if I've misunderstood anything my apologies, its about that girl. Would you want to go with anyone who tried emotional blackmail, a basically selfish thing, not thinking of you as a person at all. It is not the gender of the person that makes it, it is the way they are inside.
I would like to hear from the future
Hey Neerja and Croix,
I'm really tired so I'm just going to respond to you both in one post as I'd like to get to bed and I wrote a post to Neerja earlier but forgot to send it and lost it. Sorry for being lazy.
Croix, I cannot tell you how desperately I want to get help. I feel like it's either that or die (very dramatic) because this doesn't really feel like living. There's a really sweet kid in the year below me and seeing him makes me so happy. He understands how I feel and he doesn't do the whole 'nooo don't kill yourself' act which I am SO sick of. I think he's one of the only people who make me not want to die (the others are you guys, my drama teacher and my singing teacher which is a sad bunch considering I've never met you guys and the other two are teachers)
In every post I say my thoughts are getting worse and even I don't understand how. Every day I think it couldn't get any worse but I'm extremely wrong. This is why I want help. I'm worried it'll get to the point where I need to go to the hospital and my parents find out.
I want to get way from this girl but I don't know how.
Neerja, I might read pieces of the sky as it looks kinda interesting. For english I have to write a dystopian short story and I'm terrible at writing fiction so it is very much based on 1984.
Do you like PE? I am awful at sport so I'm the kid at the back who ducks when the ball gets near her.
The fake nice sucks. We all sit there and make awful small talk until we get home and then continue to pretend we don't know the family exists.
I'm glad your counsellor is helpful, sometimes it's good to just get things off your chest.
Honestly I've been struggling quite a bit. I'm getting sick of this kid in my year telling me that 'white privilege doesn't exist'. I want to support the BLM movement and I'm trying to convince this kid that it does very much exist, and he and I have both benefited from being white but he comes up with the dumbest arguments like ' um...no white privilege is bs'.
How are you doing? Has your school mentioned BLM? Our school is good at pretending stuff doesn't exist. We've had three deaths while I've been here and they did a good job of making it seem meaningless.
Sorry if my responses aren't very good, I'm emotionally exhausted. Also Neerja sorry if you get the other post, I have no idea if I sent it or not.
Hey all I posted in this thread initially so have now came back and seen what an interesting and intelligent discussion it has been. Thanks for starting it April.
I like the questions you ask and the way you respond to others here, of course it's not easy but even if a stressful time for yourself, you're able to connect and relate to people here.
I know what you mean about fearing sounding dramatic - tbh I feel the same. I had to end certain toxic friendsihps, and i think it will sound very dramatic but I felt I did so to save my own life. They were bringing me down and I didn't know when that could stop or how I could survive it.
The kid in the year below you sounds so kind and caring. Hope you have some good chats. Good luck with ur week at school, thanks for starting this thread!
Please don't apologise, I understand you are emotionally exhausted and responding even when you are tired, is not lazy at all, spending your time to reply is a sign of your qualities and kindness.
We all understand and we all would like to be your friends. 🙂
I am really glad that the other student in your school is understanding and supportive, also the fact that he doesn't do the 'nooo don't kill yourself' act. That is annoying. My parents did that too when they found out, because of that I am hiding those thoughts from them.
I am really sorry that the thoughts are getting worse. I understand what you mean about going to hospital and parents finding out, that fear stops me too.
I am really sorry that girl isn't getting away. Have you tried to have a conversation with that girl about how you don't like her doing that and you want to keep it to just friends? Sorry, I know that's not helpful.
I am terrible with fictional writing too. I have never written a dystopian short story, but they sound really hard, especially because it is an imagined society with injustices and problems. What grade are you in? (you don't have to answer that) 1984 sounds like a great choice of the time frame!
I am awful at sports too. I am that girl who stands in the back and when a ball comes near me, I leave it there lol. But I do play basketball for a team, however, I have taken a month-long break because I don't feel motivated to play anymore, I feel like I am surrounded with a thick, unmotivating, dull and dark cloud now.
Yeah, that fake nice does suck, it gives me this stupid false hope. It is annoying when everyone all of the sudden goes back to normal pretending the family doesn't exist.
To be honest, I don't know whether the counsellor is helpful, lol. All she gives me depression, body image and GP information sheets, and isn't helpful with those thoughts and she comes in weird times in class to get me. But you are right, sometimes it's helpful to just get things off your chest.
It is so amazing that you are trying to argue back and make a change in your peer's opinions. I really support the BLM movement, but I really think there should be more done towards it. It really annoy me how people like that kid, who say that white privilege doesn't exist. My school just talks a little about the BLM Movement. 3 deaths are a lot. People can be so self-centred sometimes and don't realise how important some things really are.
How are you doing?
Sending you hugs,
Thank you for being so understanding. I hate the useless attempts at making you feel better. 'don't be depressed', 'just calm down', 'why are you sad? your life isn't that bad'.
I have not yet talked to her as I'm not good at confrontation, especially if I'm the one doing the confronting! I don't think I'm going to as I'm worried she'll deny it all and just tell everyone what an awful person I am. I don't know where else to go as I don't want to sit there but where else can I sit? I am never sitting in the bathroom again, I did it for a month and it was disgusting.
I will admit I am absolutely terrible at fiction. My story is so far just a title saying put story name here. Based on your book in class, I'm guessing you're older than me. I'm in year 9.
I'm glad you are able to talk to someone. Your posts suggests you struggle with body image as your counsellor gave you information on it. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it you don't have to, but how does it affect you? I am extremely self conscious about my weight and I've spent the last year trying to lose a good amount. I used to be a small fit kid but (I don't want to blame my depression, it's my fault I'm fat) as I've slowly stopped doing anything, I've become overweight.
I'm feeling better than yesterday which is good. I'm just hoping it stays that way? What about you?
Thank you for being here and I hope I am able to help you too.
I like the sound of that sweet kid you mentioned. All the phrases you said are indeed junk, even if well meant, thogh it's just as likely fear.
I'd like to learn from that kid, do you talk much or hang out? Would you like to say a little more? The more right things I know the better I am for myself and others I talk with.
As for freinds, you have probably seen into our hearts here more than the people around you, and if you like a couple of teachers -so? They are human, I was a teacher, but then again I'm a walrus so that probably doesn't count:(
I'd like to ask you and Neerja a question. You are at a roadblock that is stopping you take steps to improve your lives because you don't want your parents to know. Know what -that you are suicidal?
Have you ever thought about how they should behave so you don't mind them knowing so much?
Sorry for the questions, I guess I get stuck at times and need help