FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

I see no point

IAMTHEONE
Community Member
Not really sure why im putting this here or if this even goes here, guess i just need to vent or something

I should give some context. I recently lost my home due to my landlord wanting to sell cos the market was good, i loved where i lived and i could afford it. i looked after it and took pride in it but once there was an opportunity to make money, all that meant nothing in the end. Because the housing market is so expensive right now, i was forced to move back in with my parents. I don't have anything against my parents, but they live pretty much in the middle of nowhere far from where i was. Now im nowhere near any friends or anywhere i had even a small conection too, also living here and a gay man and a crossdresser, well, its a bad idea.

At the same time i lost my home, i had just received a job offer, not anything glamorous but it was something good. I had to give that up since i couldn't find another place to live. I had been searching for decent work and i finally get it only to have it slip away in the blink of an eye.

I've had a rough time with mental issues which made it hard for me to be in social settings, i was finally getting past all that, even started making a few new friends and even finding new hobby groups. it felt like for the first time i was finally getting somewhere until i had to move away from it all. I left home at 19 to try and start a life, im 30 now and i'v ended up exactly where i was with nothing to show for it. no skills, no money, no anything. I'v literally just waisted like 10 years of my life accomplishing nothing. Now i just sit in my room i barely leave only for food or to shower, there's nowhere to go or any reason for me to leave the house.

So at this point, iv given up. i don't do anything, i see no reason too. I struggled to get anywhere in life only to end up exactly where i started, i don't really want to go on anymore. My parents want me around, they're the only two people i give a damn about. so once they go, this will be so much harder - , it will feel like there is even less of a point. 

well thats about it, guess it does feel good to finally get it out, even if it doesn't really matter anyway.
5 Replies 5

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello IAMTHEONE, if I can suggest you contact 'www.housing.vic.gov.au', that's obviously for Vic but other states will have similar addresses.

You can apply online for a flat or contact them in regards to other housing.

This may be somewhere you can start, but very sorry for your landowner kicking you out, as this has happened to me as well and it did upset me, as I did things around the house to help him save money, but no consideration was given to me.

Let us know how you get on.

Geoff.

Banksy92
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi IAMTHEONE,

Losing your home is such a stressful experience, I am so sorry to hear you've had to deal with this - it's a massive change so it's really understandable that you're quite upset by it.

Have you considered looking around for a room in a share house situation? I know you mentioned you have some difficulties with social settings, but if you keep an eye out sometimes there are arrangements where roommates aren't really home that much due to work, or the room is a self contained bungalow so you have more privacy... just an idea. Not sure where you live, but there are often groups on Facebook where people advertise these (for example in Victoria a popular one is Fairy Floss Real Estate).

Please know that you have achieved more than you think, and while it can feel like a set back to return to the family home, it doesn't mean we haven't progressed in life. The job offer suggests to me you were doing well in your current position. This means you've been working hard and developing your skills. And you mentioned you made social connections, despite struggling in the past. These are all signs of strength and growth! If I were you, I would try and stay connected with these friends online so you can reconnect in person once you're close by again.

Don't give up on yourself, you are doing extremely well considering the adversity you're dealing with. Try to see it as an opportunity to plan your next chapter and try to take it day by day.

IAMTHEONE
Community Member

well i was just gonna forget about this but things have gotten worse, my parents are now thinking about getting a divorce, so the one last thing i had to hang onto is now starting to fall apart.

i appreciate the thoughts but honestly, everything is just falling apart for me and i have no idea how to fix things or even if i can. i don't wanna see it get worse, right now i want to get away from it.  

thanks for at least reading.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear IAMTHEONE~

Life has certainly given you a hard time recently and I guess a natural reaction when you do not see a lot of hope around is to get so down you cannot see any point in anything. These things however are outside you, and should they change for the better then I would hope there would be a corresponding change in how you felt.

Even finding pleasing affordable accommodation would make a huge difference. True, it can be hard to find, but it does not mean there is not something out there .

I'd have to agree with Banksy92, those 10 years have in no way been wasted. You manage to acquire a job - sad it disappeared, however that ability to land one is inside you, now with more confidence in yourself. You have made friends, something that does not come easily to you, and that experience will most probably help you make more. Plus as Banksy92 suggests, you may be able ot keep up with your old ones even at a distance.

Parents thinking of a divorce is a real blow, however I'd be most surprised if their care for you would change -or you love for then. It's just circumstances might be different.

I'm not sure wanting to 'fix' things is quite the way to go ATM. Perhaps instead looking to your own abilities to cope when things go astray might be an option. One of the things I do is reward myself every day, normally in the evening (so I have something I look forward to), by doing something I like. It can be a book, talking with someone, going for a walk, or one of umpteen other things.

It's funny but if I reward myself in this way I've found I end up feeling better about myself - as if I deserve to be rewarded.

It's been a couple of days, please let us know how you are getting on

Croix

Banksy92
Community Champion
Community Champion

Really tough news for you, especially on top of everything IAMTHEONE, I am sorry to hear about your parents.

I know it must feel as though everything is going wrong right now as your places of stability are fragile or changing. I am wondering if you would be open to seeking some professional support while you cope through this period?

If you visit your GP and go onto a mental health care plan you can be referred onto a psychologist or counsellor for 10 free sessions. Having someone like this in your corner can be a real point of strength during difficult times. Have a think about it.

Have you had a chance to look around at other housing options?

We are always here if you need, thinking of you.