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I need help

Loula
Community Member

I have Bipolar and the black clouds are pure black. Being told it’s going to go away isn’t helping as it will just come back.

I’ve seen my psychologist and doctor today who have put me under 24-7 watch.

the only thing making me hold on is I don’t want to hurt loved ones.

i hope this doesn't trigger anyone off.

i just need help to stop feeling this

48 Replies 48

Dear Loula, 

We're glad to hear that you're not at the point of being admitted into the hospital, but we can still read how distressing this is for you. We're also sorry to hear that you felt you were forced out the last time you were at the hospital. This all sounds really tough. Calling your doctor tomorrow sounds like a good idea. Please do continue to post here as you wish to receive support during this difficult time. If you need a distraction, you are also welcome to jump onto the 'social zone' part of our forum and engage in some light-hearted/game-based conversations. Some of our community members find that helpful. 

Loula
Community Member

Thank you kindly for taking the time to write back. You are a very beautiful soul.

I am doing distractions therapy like watching my favourite Tv shows that make me calm. I’ve gone for a walk. But nothing is working.

I have called up a few help lines and they where very kind but I just want a quick answer to solve my problem problem. I just don’t like it. But I know everyone is the same. 

I am actually feeling worse. Night times are harder for me. I’ve taken something to help me sleep. Just praying it goes away and I sleep and dream of beautiful things.

thank you for being so honest with me.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Loula,

Its good to hear that you will call your Dr tomorrow...I really do hope that more help can be offered to you...maybe if it’s possible to make an appointment with your Dr. then talk to him/her about how you’re feeling....

Sometimes it’s really hard to help ourselves with the safety tools...especially when we are feeling so down...

Do you have something special you like doing, that maybe you could try to do...or maybe if you just feel like talking about anything at all I’m listening....

The social zones that Sophie has mentioned does for me give me a bit of distraction away from my thoughts....

Their is a Grounding thread on the forums...which gives some good suggestions on how to ground yourself when your thoughts are not healthy thoughts...You can search the title...”Grounding..What is it and how do we”...in the search bar top right of this page...

Here for you lovely Loula , if you feel up to talking..

Kind and caring thoughts..

Grandy..

Loula
Community Member

I’m feeling more in pain. Night times are hard for me. I’ve called up some services and they have been kind and encouraging me but I just want the answer to stop it. I feel though everyone is the same.

im scared about tonight. My brain goes crazy. 

i might call my best friend

Hi Loula, 

We are so sorry to hear that things have become worse for you. It would be really difficult to feel scared about tonight. In line with what you said earlier, we hope you have beautiful dreams and have our fingers crossed for you. 

We really commend your ability to look after yourself when things get tough. You're doing a number of things to try and better your situation - contacting GPs, contacting crisis support services, distracting yourself, seeking peer support, calling your best friend. You're doing an incredible job at looking after yourself, despite feeling the way you do. We hope you are aware of this strength of yours. 

You mentioned having bipolar. We're aware that some bipolar support groups exist, and thought it might be helpful to share these with you for an extra level of support if you don't use it already. Bipolar Australia run peer support groups across Australia. You can read about them here.  

We're so glad you feel comfortable sharing how you're feeling here. We hope posting here helps you. Please do continue to post as you see fit, and continue doing what you're doing to look after yourself during this difficult time. 

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hey Loula

Thankyou so much for taking the time to post back with your super kind post 🙂

Can I ask how often you see your GP for support?

The frequency of our visits is crucial to our recovery......Whether its acute anxiety/bipolar/depression...I still see my doc every few weeks as I always feel better after a single or double appointment

please be gentle to yourself.....you are a kind hearted person

my kindest thoughts always

Paul

Loula
Community Member

Hello,

i Normally see my doctor and psychologist once a month.

due to the state I’m in I’m seeing my doctor every three days.

i can’t be kind to myself as I expect perfection

Loula
Community Member

I saw my doctor. Me is experimenting me on a old school medication to see if it will take away the pain I feel in my bones and heart. I really hope it works. The pain makes me self harm and I can not keep doing that.

Thank you for the advice to join the group

Hi Loula,

We’re sorry to hear you are not feeling very well this morning. Whilst you are needing to see your doctor and psychologist more frequently due to what you are currently going through, we are glad you are receiving support. Sometimes we all need a little bit more support than usual to get us through the hard times.

Whilst you may be seeing your psychologist or doctor soon, our friendly counsellors are available if you need someone to talk to at any time - 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you and care about your progress.

Loula
Community Member

The black cloud is still over me. It’s yelling unhappy things. But my brain can see a little hold in the cloud. It’s screaming you can do this.

i'm struggling today. But I’ve also spoke to my psychologist who gave me some helpful insight to what’s happening and tools to use such as you are in a cyclone the worst of it. Just keep your self safe.

As you know it’s very hard to but I’m happy I can see that hole and light in the black cloud.

the trial medication the doctor put me on worked amazing. Sadly it’s very highly addictive so I am only going to use it how he prescribed it and have it when I’m in actual pain from my bipolar