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I need help

Loula
Community Member

I have Bipolar and the black clouds are pure black. Being told it’s going to go away isn’t helping as it will just come back.

I’ve seen my psychologist and doctor today who have put me under 24-7 watch.

the only thing making me hold on is I don’t want to hurt loved ones.

i hope this doesn't trigger anyone off.

i just need help to stop feeling this

48 Replies 48

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Loula, I don't have bipolar but want to let you know that someone will get back to you, however, it is concerning that you are put on 24/7 watch and wondering whether they have suggested admitting you into hospital, just to protect yourself.

All I know is with any type of depression it can come and go, and I'm not a doctor, but know this can happen or perhaps something can trigger this.

Can I ask you how they are keeping an eye on you at the moment.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Loula,

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling so much and I hear you.

From what I understand about Bipolar, I think that it's 'riding this out' while you can get your meds sorted and this black cloud can pass. Is that what's happening for you?

I wish that I could help you stop feeling like this. Black clouds are awful but I'm glad your loved ones are keeping you safe. Do you want to talk to us about them maybe? Okay if not, but it's one way of kind of building on your safety and hopefully giving you some more reasons to stay with us.

rt

Loula
Community Member

All sharps and medication has been locked up. I’m under 24-7 watch.

My psychologist has been in contact and my doctor is seeing me twice this week.

you are right the depression comes and goes but that’s what I’m not handling well at the moment.

i feel very broken and scared

No my medication is correct. I’ve been so well for months. Like not manic or close to it.

I’ve just hit a black cloud out of know where. It’s really ugly.

i don’t know what to do. I just need it to stop

Hey Loula,
Thanks for reaching out tonight and updating us on your situation, 
We're glad to hear you've been in touch with your psychologist and plan to see your doctor also; we hope these are safe and supportive structures in your life. 

We can hear you feel broken and scared but please know there is support available if would like to speak these feelings and experiences through. You are always welcome to contact our Support Service either by phone on 1300 22 4636, via webchat (1pm to 12am) at https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support or via email at infoline@beyondblue.org.au. Our friends at Lifeline are also available anytime on 13 11 14 or you can visit https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat for online chat.

Our Support Service is also trying to reach you via email as we are worried about you.

Please check in and let us know how you are going whenever you feel up to it.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Loula, thanks for getting back to us.

I just wonder whether something else has triggered this and/or something you hadn't expected.

Geoff.

Loula
Community Member

Nothing has triggered it. That’s why the doctor and psychologist are confused.

normally I do have a trigger and then I can set my safety mood into practice before I come to this stage

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Loula, have you been put in another situation that has made you feel uncomfortable.

Geoff.

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Loula

just saying thankyou for having the courage to post with us

Whether or not there is a 'trigger' isn't important. I used to have chronic anxiety/depression for a long time and understand the pain you are experiencing....Just for myself whatever 'triggered' my acute anxiety isnt relevant anymore. I am more focused on recovery....not history (just sharing with you if thats okay)

Whether its Bi-Polar...OCD...Anxiety or depression the forums are a non judgmental place for you to post

We really hope you can stick around...There are many gentle people that can be here for you

my kindest thoughts

Paul