I’m lost

[SteamedHams]

I’ve been on antidepressants since 2015 when I was 15 and the last 2 years- especially couple of months I’ve been struggling. I reached out for help to headspace last year but got lost in the system and never heard back from them, followed up and I was too anxious to go through the whole process again because it took a lot the first time.

I finally got into the course I’ve been working towards since 2018 and I’m struggling with my mental health more than ever, for the first time in 2 years I relapsed on my self harm and everything’s just falling apart at once.

I feel like giving up so much and I’m trying so dam hard not to, I feel like a failure. I switched to part time at tafe and the lecturer made me feel like I was just worthless and lazy when it’s not that, I’m trying so hard to hold on. I reached out to a gp for help and he just said it’s all in my head and barely helped when I was at my lowest 3 weeks ago- which caused me walking out ready to end everything. I was a mess but so lucky I had my partner there who took me back in and made someone see me due to the state I was in. My new gp seems to care and I feel somewhat comfortsbke with her, but I’m finding it so hard to open back up.

my meds are being changed so I’m easing off them currently and I’m finding it so so hard, the migraines, my thoughts and emotions I’m struggling. I’m on a waiting list for a psychologist but I’m not even sure how long I can hold on for, I’m so tired of feeling this way.

There’s so much going on, my friends don’t want us living where we are anymore and we have no one to live with as my parents aren’t stable due to alcohol abuse and mental illness and my partners lost his dad to suicide and his mum is heavily on drugs. So I’m lost for what to do, this on top of everything is just too much to handle and I feel so trapped.

I don’t really know where this post is going but I had to let some of it out, keeping it all in is killing me and my chest feels so tight like I can’t breathe. I thought by this age it would all be a bit better, I’d maybe have some of my stuff together but it just seems to be getting worse and I’m trying so hard to get help but it just seems like I’m such a burden for needing it

[Sophie_M]

Dear SteamedHams,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
 

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to the forums.

it sounds like there is a lot going on in your life at the moment. I will say that you are of a similar age to my children. Both started Uni after high school and were able to exit before acquiring any debts. Both struggled with the transition to further study. Many of their friends are in similar positions. I am telling you this so you know you are not alone. *cliche*

It was only when my daughter told some about exiting Uni they told her of their own struggles (so they opened up when someone else was able to be vulnerable).

Last point ... after my first appointment with my psychologist, she suggested I install 2 apps (relax melodies and virtual hope box) onto my phone. And over time suggested some books I might also read. If you like I can share some of the strategies I have learnt - if you want me to. I hope you will come back to share more o your story.

Peace to you