Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Help needed

Community Member
Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.
182 Replies 182

Hi Farmer good to see you ☺

No probs at all when you post or how long it takes. One of the many goods about here's there's no obligation it's entirely when you feel up to.

I've been thinking about you and your rotten deal but this happens at times I've been thinking more lately and here you are.

You may have told your lawyer I'd think but if not I'd assume that's important about her telling her sister.

Not at all easy trying not to focus on our pain because it's so consuming esp when sleep deprivation sets in weakening our energy. I'm so pleased you're working on it. I felt a glow reading that.

Absolutely it's heartbreaking knowing how the poor wife has the horror of losing her husband. Her pain would be so intense and unbearable that he took his life on top of the grief they went through leading up to this. So terribly sad what so many people are forced to suffer the rest of their lives and knowing they're innocent would be incredibly painful.

Yes this does need to be highlighted. It's so wrong! So much malice to people trying so hard and opening their hearts trying to help people have a stable good life.

You and your wife are such good people not hating her but feeling sorry for her. She certainly hasn't done herself any favours doing this and missing out on a better life. I can't imagine she'd be in a good place now like she was with your family and sister. She dropped a good life security and being cared for out of bratish behaviour.

I maintain this will end up biting her imo but that wouldn't help you all I think.

Rest as much as you can Mr Farmer and family. You need as much strength as you can muster. You really are holding up incredibly well.

Hope each day there's something that can give you some light. Loving hearing of her sister doing so well. Youse must be so proud. How exciting.

Take care Mr Farmer this is worth you giving everything you've got for survival like you are.

Never forget... she can't win!.

See you when you're up to posting ☺


Hi I am back right when I thought things couldn’t get any worse with all these false allegations I lost my job of 21 years today they are getting contractors in to do it I am my lowest I have ever been 😭😭😭sorry

Hi Farmer680,

So sorry to hear that you have lost your job today, 21 years is a very long time and this was a very big committment that you made to your work.  It understandable that any false allegations are hurtful and dissapointing to you.  We can only imagine how low you would be right now.

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

MensLine Australia is a free 24/7 telephone and online counselling service for men with emotional health and relationship concerns. You can contact them on 1300 78 99 78 or https://mensline.org.au/ .

The community is here for you and you are not alone.  

Dear Farmer ☺

Oh matey good to see you but so sorry hearing about your job poor man. What a blow that is.

Of course you'd be feeling so sad. Wow long time at one place good on you.

Our good lady Sophies given you some very good suppirt numbers that I hope you'll find helpful when you're up to.

I really am sorry to hear this matey. It's just not fair is it.

See you when you're up to talking anytime friend ☺🌿

Thank you I think I need to talk to someone I am feeling really really bad. I get told at 230 pm I loose my job after my shift which is 830 finish time the stress it’s put on my is unbelievable, I don’t know how much longer I can keep going I am so sad right now.

Mr Farmer 🌿 and everyone hi ☺

Geez it doesn't rain it pours aye matey.

I really am sorry hearing that hard news. Don't blame you at all feeling very down about it. That's been a large part of your life for such a long time. I sincerely hope that down the track something might come along for you.

You know you always have here for support and to vent anytime. I hope too you feel up to talking to any or some of the numbers Sophie left.

With luck your good wifes foots in recovery. I know it was going better a while back.

I worry that you might sink very low again Farmer. You've throughout this entire ordeal kept yourself together very well from what I've seen with you. Strong man.

No doubt a void will be there. I'm hopeful you'll be able to catch up on needed rest and wondering if there's any hobbies you might be keen to pursue? Maybe atm it's too soon but something maybe later to consider.

Hoping with your at home daughter schools continuing to go well. It must be incredibly good seeing them do well.

Just had a lovely vision or thought of your nice guitar times. I imagine making and playing music would be so stimulating and a buzz for all concerned. Guitar has a nice sound. Don't know if you sing or not which might be a good outlet too.

Always have best thoughts and wishes for you and your family Farmer man 🙂

Appreciate you keeping in touch it's good knowing how you're all going.


Sorry it’s getting harder and harder for me the things she has done and got away with to my family is so heart breaking I never realised a teenager could be so evil over a stupid phone it will never end while legal aid keep funding she will keep playing her evil games every day is a struggle I have no job now after 21 years all of a sudden I loose my job I am not blaming anyone but I have a fair idea who was behind it she won’t stop until she has destroyed us then she will move on to the next family she has intervention orders against them she will destroy them. Seriously 11 intervention orders that has to say something surely where the law why don’t they step in.

Hey Farmer man ☺

So much to deal with. It's so wrong.
I really am sorry you have this rot to have to work through.
The frustration must be so hard.
You're doing incredibly well holding up like you are.

Strengths there to pull on even when it doesn't feel like there's anything.
I think we access it when we think of ways of pulling up.
Thought into how and setting the mind to recovery helps.

I know it'd be so hard not working and will take time to adjust after such a long time there.
I'm hoping you're getting some extra rest which you've been needing for quite some time.

I imagine this seems near impossible Farmer and I've spoken of this I know. It can take enormous effort but worth it if you're able to redirect your thoughts when you can onto something neutral or if possible a positive to get some reprieve from constant downs. A very wise lovely lady here said she looks around which can be effective too. Anything to break the cycle.

I've played around with some success at times picking a letter or in order ABC from the alphabet thinking of anything starting with the letter but not anything depressing. Eg. A for Apple. How it looks feels tastes grows on a tree etc

It's simple but not as easy as it sounds.
The more different thinking gives your mind and the pain a break which is needed badly.
A few seconds is better than solid darkness.

Wondering but doubt it, is your lawyer in a position to tell them she's abusing the system.

If you're up to a walk around your property might be a good change for you or a drive might be good.

Appreciate very much you keeping in touch Farmer.

As always thoughts and hope that your life turns for the better matey you and your loving family are well due for a break.

Just a gentle reminder about the numbers Sophie left in case you feel you'd like to talk to someone with voice.

Keep going Farmer you all deserve to.


Hi my lawyer said he had written a letter to legal aid months back but haven’t heard back from them, she is abusing the system it’s just getting to hard now we have court again in a few weeks the last court case the police said they won’t be representing her anymore but she still wants to keep going it would of been over a few months ago but she’s want to keep going with all her lies and games her sister who is living with us said she was addicted to her mobile phone she had hidden from us that’s why when it was taken she said she wanted revenge on us. I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen I have sold so much stuff to fund all this while it’s cost her nothing that’s why she brags about it everyday is a struggle and getting worse

Hey Farmer 😊

Good I'm glad hearing he's contacted them. I'd think that the police don't want to deal with her anymore would be a strong plus in your favour.

It's taking a ridiculous amount of time and it's so unfair you having to sell things to pay for her problems basically the wretch.

I stand by with hope but also belief people can't get their way all the time especially when she's lying. It'd be good to see your lawyer shred her.

I understand being addicted to the phone but there's clearly an unbalanced disturbed mind in the ott reaction.

Farmer out of 10 where do you rate your depression I've been wondering and do you you have at least some moments or periods of time when you have a break from pain. Geez I hope so.

I admire you holding up like you are. You're a good and strong man.

Hope you're managing some quality sleep these days. Hard isn't it when so much is going on.

Wishing you the best Mr and to your family.