Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

dumbledoor They're sending me away
  • replies: 4

My parents are going to send me away if I fail my exams. If that happens, I'm not sure what I'll do. My school councellor has agreed that ADHD is very likely what I have, but my parents won't help me. "If you're strong you can beat it on your own". I... View more

My parents are going to send me away if I fail my exams. If that happens, I'm not sure what I'll do. My school councellor has agreed that ADHD is very likely what I have, but my parents won't help me. "If you're strong you can beat it on your own". I am almost certain I won't be returning back to school next term, so I don't see any point in trying anymore. I have an assignment due in an hour that I've barely started, and three 2 hour exams later this week. If I get anything below a B, I'm out. My parents are counting down the seconds until they can kick me out, they've been threatening this all year. I don't think I'll survive on my own, even if I have my grandparents help. The shame would be too much. Everyone thought I could be something great, but I might just end up flipping burgers for the rest of my life. I don't want that life. I don't even want to live unless I become successful, which is not going to happen at this point. My dream was always to be a doctor, something my parents used to support me in. I can't become a doctor, not with these grades, not with this effort level. I vowed 6 years ago that I would not live past the age of 18. Should I enjoy my last year as much as I can? Or should I not waste any more time?

Ashha Self harm and suicidal thoughts, feel like burden to relationship to speak up
  • replies: 2

Hi, this is difficult to say so I apologise if I don’t make all much sense but, I’m having these horrible thoughts around myself, they was I think and feel about my self, and very strong urges to self harm and my suicidal thoughts just keep getting s... View more

Hi, this is difficult to say so I apologise if I don’t make all much sense but, I’m having these horrible thoughts around myself, they was I think and feel about my self, and very strong urges to self harm and my suicidal thoughts just keep getting stronger. I tried to call the crisis team two nights ago they spoke to me for maybe 5 minutes before telling me to take more medication and go to bed they weren’t helpful at all so I’m reluctant to call them again as I feel they just don’t care. I would usually try to go to my partner when I feel this way but I feel like such a burden to him. I feel guilty for how bad my mental health is and how he has to deal with it everyday. He’s told me I cause his a lot of stress and make things hard for him and he feels like a carer to me. That made me feel so awful bc I help him anytime him needs even if I’m not okay I do all I can to help and make sure his okay with out making him feel like a problem. And that’s exactly how I feel to him at the moment, I feel like I’m just to much for everyone. I’m just not sure who to turn to, I don’t have any friends really, I’m to scared to let anyone to close as they always leave or find me to much.

Meerkat_80 I think about it alot
  • replies: 2

Hi I am new here and just really feel isolated and alone and its pretty hard coping. I always hide my depression with a bright smile that none ever sees the sadness within. I became separated from my husband and I suffered through alot of mental abus... View more

Hi I am new here and just really feel isolated and alone and its pretty hard coping. I always hide my depression with a bright smile that none ever sees the sadness within. I became separated from my husband and I suffered through alot of mental abuse from him i would self harm. Why,? It was a form of self punishment that I didn't understand until later. I've stopped doing it because I know its wrong but the scars are there forever. I smoke alot. Too much and it somewhat relieves my depression and anger and I can't stop. I think maybe I can smoke so much it will indirectly kill me. Its wrong I know it but its so hard. I try I really do I try to stay strong and brave and confident but when you've been mentally abused for so long its hard to come out of it alone.

Hello17425 Tried to call. Feeling very bad. Who can I talk to?
  • replies: 2

Hello, I need some help. I tried calling the hotline. I said I was experiencing suicidal thoughts and the counsellor ended the call ended after 11 minutes. I wish I never called. I think that's an awful way to treat another human being and I feel wor... View more

Hello, I need some help. I tried calling the hotline. I said I was experiencing suicidal thoughts and the counsellor ended the call ended after 11 minutes. I wish I never called. I think that's an awful way to treat another human being and I feel worse. I don't understand, who am I supposed to talk to? I told her things aren't working out with my therapist. She told me that I didn't connect with the therapist and that's what happens to people and to just find a new therapist and gave me a website. I expressed that I don't really have the resources for that. Then she ended the call, like that instantly fixes everything. I said oh dear this isn't good, and she continued to end the call. That is very dismissive. I don't understand. What am I supposed to do wait until I'm worse? I just wanted to talk to someone. Who can I talk to? I really regret making that phone call. I just want to get better. I thought the the helplines were supposed to be there for help I don't know what to do about how I am feeling. I don't understand why these scenarios keep popping in my head that I am gone. I don't want to die. I feel very alone and scared right now. I feel like everytime I reach out to another person for support it doesn't work and makes things worse. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to manage it on my own I'm trying to get better. Thanks

Chynapage Calling the hotline
  • replies: 2

I want to call the hotline but I am unsure of what it is like and what questions are asked or if I am causing a bother?

I want to call the hotline but I am unsure of what it is like and what questions are asked or if I am causing a bother?

Baileybasil It is so hard to go on
  • replies: 8

Everything has fallen apart and it’s my fault entirely I don’t go through a day without wanting to die I just want it all to end I keep searching for answers but find none I’m giving up as the days go by

Everything has fallen apart and it’s my fault entirely I don’t go through a day without wanting to die I just want it all to end I keep searching for answers but find none I’m giving up as the days go by

charlotteAshley i struggle everyday
  • replies: 2

I hate my life, and I want to die.” I thought “What teenage girl hasn’t had a fight with her friends? My mum thought. The next morning, I didn’t want to go to school, butmy mum made her go. At 10 a.m., my mum received a call from the school’s guidanc... View more

I hate my life, and I want to die.” I thought “What teenage girl hasn’t had a fight with her friends? My mum thought. The next morning, I didn’t want to go to school, butmy mum made her go. At 10 a.m., my mum received a call from the school’s guidance counselor, who said I wasn’t doing well, and that she needed to get there right away. When she arrived, they spoke about how the idea of suicide had dominated me thoughts for three months. My mum and I went directly to the ER. That’s when she realized my issue was more than teenage angst it was a true mental health crisis. My mum felt scared and helpless. She wasn’t sure where to turn for additional care and treatment. Who should she call? A psychiatrist? Her pediatrician? A family therapist? Beth was lost. I was instantly thrust into the unfamiliar world of caring for a child experiencing a mental health crisis.

SteamedHams I’m lost
  • replies: 2

I’ve been on antidepressants since 2015 when I was 15 and the last 2 years- especially couple of months I’ve been struggling. I reached out for help to headspace last year but got lost in the system and never heard back from them, followed up and I w... View more

I’ve been on antidepressants since 2015 when I was 15 and the last 2 years- especially couple of months I’ve been struggling. I reached out for help to headspace last year but got lost in the system and never heard back from them, followed up and I was too anxious to go through the whole process again because it took a lot the first time. I finally got into the course I’ve been working towards since 2018 and I’m struggling with my mental health more than ever, for the first time in 2 years I relapsed on my self harm and everything’s just falling apart at once. I feel like giving up so much and I’m trying so dam hard not to, I feel like a failure. I switched to part time at tafe and the lecturer made me feel like I was just worthless and lazy when it’s not that, I’m trying so hard to hold on. I reached out to a gp for help and he just said it’s all in my head and barely helped when I was at my lowest 3 weeks ago- which caused me walking out ready to end everything. I was a mess but so lucky I had my partner there who took me back in and made someone see me due to the state I was in. My new gp seems to care and I feel somewhat comfortsbke with her, but I’m finding it so hard to open back up. my meds are being changed so I’m easing off them currently and I’m finding it so so hard, the migraines, my thoughts and emotions I’m struggling. I’m on a waiting list for a psychologist but I’m not even sure how long I can hold on for, I’m so tired of feeling this way. There’s so much going on, my friends don’t want us living where we are anymore and we have no one to live with as my parents aren’t stable due to alcohol abuse and mental illness and my partners lost his dad to suicide and his mum is heavily on drugs. So I’m lost for what to do, this on top of everything is just too much to handle and I feel so trapped. I don’t really know where this post is going but I had to let some of it out, keeping it all in is killing me and my chest feels so tight like I can’t breathe. I thought by this age it would all be a bit better, I’d maybe have some of my stuff together but it just seems to be getting worse and I’m trying so hard to get help but it just seems like I’m such a burden for needing it

Franc_I 14 years of chronic pain, anxiety and depression: should I still have hope?
  • replies: 8

Hello, I have suffered anxiety, panic and crippling depression for most of my life. 14 years ago, chronic abdominal pain was added to the mix, which is particularly strong right now. I saw every specialist under the sun - including alternative therap... View more

Hello, I have suffered anxiety, panic and crippling depression for most of my life. 14 years ago, chronic abdominal pain was added to the mix, which is particularly strong right now. I saw every specialist under the sun - including alternative therapies - and I had all tests done and I’m now on too many different meds that give me unbearable side effects. Five years into the chronic pain, I asked around on a free medical forum and two pain specialists, as well as a pain specialist I saw briefly, all said that if I had the pain for five years that it is unlikely that it will ever go away. I thought: why on earth would you tell someone that? Given the power of placebo and the power of the mind on pain, statements like that can well be self fulfilling! I still think about that often. Is this really true? Will I have this pain forever or is there still hope? Hope is everything? My questions are: • Is there still hope? • Are there new treatments I may not be aware of? • When my pain is really strong and I feel very down, especially at night, it would help to online chat with someone - I have diagnosed phone phobia - which I know Beyond Blue offers, but I need to tell the same story to a new person each time. Is it possible to ask for a particular person with a new chat? This may sound strange, and I don’t want anyone to freak out, but when the pain and sadness are really bad, I think about taking an overdose of something that would gently put me to sleep forever. I would never do that and I never made preparations for it, but the thought itself can give me peace. Like at SOME point, when I die, I will be released from this pain. If you have read this far, thank you for your interest in me and my story. If you know of any help out there that I may not have considered, I would be very grateful.

...Gekota Will the thoughts ever just go away? (TW)
  • replies: 3

I’m really lost, I haven’t been on this platform in a while and I don’t know what brought me back, I have started going to a psychiatrist since psychology didn’t work very well for me and they suggested prescription medication witch I refused, not be... View more

I’m really lost, I haven’t been on this platform in a while and I don’t know what brought me back, I have started going to a psychiatrist since psychology didn’t work very well for me and they suggested prescription medication witch I refused, not because I don’t want to feel better but because I’d rather feel something sometimes then nothing at all, all the time. I still have to take some medication that’s useless and isn’t helping though, I still cannot talk to people. Along with other stuff I’ve also been diagnosed with ASD stage 1 which I kind of understand as she said there is a link between this and eating disorders but I’m still unsure. My parents know I’m still self harming now, I couldn’t tell them but I managed a nod when my mum asked. I feel very lonely, and being lonely is quite a very painful thing. When I first became depressed I never had suicidal intentions or thoughts but now after everything is supposedly going to get better I can’t stop but wanting to die sometimes. Everything I feel, feels wrong, and I feel that everything I do and everything I am will never be good enough for this world, for myself. I want to dig a hole and just lay there for a while until I slowly decompose into nature. I know I’m not a normal kid but sometimes I can act like one, it’s becoming less and less but sometimes I feel okay. But there are other times like now where I can’t help but wonder what my life could have been if I didn’t waste it in my head. I have struggles talking about feelings in person due to anxiety and my ASD but I do have a way with words and music but they don’t always feel like my own. My mum is going to tell my psychiatrist about my self harming and I’m afraid not because I’m scared of her knowing but because I’m afraid that I’ll have to talk about it and when I say I don’t how I feel I can just hear people telling me back “I think you do know” but I don’t and I don’t think I ever will. I’m afraid that if people find out I’m still so sad, worse then before then I’ll make them sad and depressed too, I’m a burden, but I wish I could be a good child, I good friend, sibling. Everything is so stressful and scary I relapse I flush my food down the toilet or throw it in the bin and if people know they’ll be sad, so I hide, I hide it so very deep till I can hardly remember it’s there, but it is, and it won’t go away. My head is a maze and right now I’m so very lost, there is no way out, all the ways are blocked, I am trapped.