Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Pinned discussions

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

I just want someone to talk to

replies: 4

Just wanna preface this by saying I am currently safeLife is becoming increasingly harder to deal with say to day. Staying clean and alive is something I have to put constant effort into.I feel so selfish for wanting to not live anymore when I have a bunch of support, but all I want is for someone to talk to me, so I'm not just alone in my room at whatever ungodly hour it is.

Suicidailty and DSP application

replies: 4

I am on the cusp of applying for the Disability Support Pension. The disability employment agency I’m with and my psychologist are supportive and encouraging for me to do this. At 48 I’ve had lifelong chronic pain and multiple challenges with traumatic and stressful experiences. In 2005-2008 my pain levels were extreme and I had to stop work but fought my way back into work doing a program with the then Commonwealth Rehab Service and retraining at TAFE to be an education assistant. I was on synthetic opioid meds to be able to do this. I’ve worked at many jobs over the years. In the last few years my stress levels have been extreme as a primary carer to my parents before they died and numerous other stresses. I’m diagnosed with complex PTSD from childhood experiences and have an autoimmune liver disease. Although on the face of it I may look like a good candidate for DSP, I know it’s extremely hard to get now. The process itself triggers me and I find suicidality comes up every time I have to deal with it. I’ve been advised by an advocacy group who provide advice on DSP to apply on either mental health grounds or physical health grounds but not both as if you fail the impairments test on one they will fail you on both. They’ve also advised the hour long job capacity assessment interview involves them trying to trip you up multiple times by asking you the same question in different ways. Basically it is an adversarial process designed to make you fail. Someone else with my employment agency who cannot stand up for more than 5 minutes at a time was refused it. A man I met at a DSP info session was also told he won’t be able to get it despite the gruelling impacts of two cancers and immunotherapy that has damaged his cognitive capacity and ability to function. I’ve had fibromyalgia since 13, a condition many doctors have not considered real. I’ve actually had a doctor throw a packet of anti-inflammatories at me and told to “get over it” when I went to him for a second opinion about a med another doctor wanted to put me on. I’ve had severe migraines since 13 as well and the only way I got through decades of work was to medicate as I would be debilitated with the frequent migraines otherwise. The liver disease I now have may even be partly a consequence of the long term medication to be able to get through the work day. So I just feel scared and seriously overwhelmed with the DSP application. I am so tired of fighting to survive. I just need to express how I feel.

Exhausted

replies: 1

After a lengthy hospital stay and 8 ECT’s, I’ve gone full circle and started to think about it again.I can’t find a decent Psychologist and my family is nervous which I can totally understand, as next time failure is not an option. Does anyone else l... View more

advice?

replies: 2

i've been going to a therapist since i was pretty young, around year 4 but only for anxiety and never anything bigger. recently i've been going through a rough patch and just felt kinda useless and lonely. when i told my therapist about this she asked my parents about anti depressants and they refused to try. since going through this rough patch i've only just started sh (about 2 months ago) and i think i should tell my therapist but don't know how. can anyone give advice?

Hi

replies: 2

I think I need help

Help I guess.

replies: 2

Idk what to do anymore. I’ve been here before where I have tried to take my own life before and I haven’t started cutting again but the only reason is because I can’t be bothered to buy the razors. I have tried multiple therapists and been on different medications but nothing works, I’ve tried those self help apps with the cute animals. I’ve even tried starving myself to be better. I’m afraid that if I go down this path again I will not make it out the other side. I have nobody to talk to about this. I scared my best friend and my dad last time and my mother doesn’t care about me. Don’t try to tell me she probably does because I really know she doesn’t. I feel it coming. I have no drive or motivation anymore. The things I enjoyed don’t matter anymore and I feel myself distancing myself from my friends and family. Whenever I try to imagine a future for myself my mind goes blank. I really can’t go through this battle again. All I want is to be happy and to feel loved but I can’t even remember how that feels.I want to stop being selfish. I want to stop failing at helping people. I want to stop failing at everything I do. I want to be somebody’s first choice and I want to like what I see in the mirror. I want what I see other people have. I’m terrified to get the energy to buy a razor because hurting myself felt like a punishment I deserved but I know that if I do then I will be so angry with myself after. I feel like I’m watching myself fall down this pit and I feel like I can’t do anything about it. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want someone to care about me like I care about them. I don’t want to hurt myself or anyone around me but I’m terrified that I’m going to get to a point where all of this is too much and I will forget about the pain they will feel just to release myself from my own pain. It’s been three years since my first attempt and I hate myself for not being better.

Memory blanks

replies: 1

Ever since I was a kid I have struggles with anxiety and depression. Now tho whenever I tend to harm I have no memory of doing it what so ever. Does this happen to anyone else?

obsessed with psychologist

replies: 5

I’m 36 years old female, mother to a 3 years old daughter and wife to a good caring husband. First I entered therapy for anger management and get rid off suicidal thoughts from my mind. One day I missed my appointment and she rang me. I apologised and I was willing to pay the cancellation fee. But she stated I don’t want to pay if it’s happened again they will charge cancellation fee next time. This is the first day I started to search about her. I just wanted to find who is this good person. I found her and her family on facebook. I spent hours looking at her photos. Then after I started to develop romantic/erotic thoughts about her. I’m totally obsessed with her. Every single second she Invaded my mind. I couldn’t forget her.I never ever felt about a woman before. I worried about my sexuality. I decided to speak with her as I thought she would be understanding and help me to cope with this situation. Instead of helping me she suggested to transfer me to an another psychologist. I didn’t want to lose her, I did my best to control my thoughts. I went to a retreat and started doing meditation and It was helpful to stay in the present moment. Unfortunately I had a car accident. I was so shocked panicked and couldn’t sleep. Then after those thoughts popped up again. I wanted to speak to her but couldn’t get an appointment. Then I sent an email to her asking help. She didn’t reply to my email. Then after I had a panic attack. I wanted to get suicide. I didn’t want to leave my daughter alone in this world without a mum. I thought if I terminate therapy it would be easier to forget her. So I requested to terminate therapy. Then she rang me again and asked to come for one more session. I was so surprised, I didn’t expect a call from her. I went and when I see her I felt so good and I didn’t want to terminate the therapy. But she wanted to terminate the therapy. She suggested me two places to find another therapist. My whole world collapsed down. I didn’t know how I walked away and drove to home. Then after she blocked my fb account. It was so painful and I cried a lot I was out of my mind. I looked for options to get sucide. I started to drink alcohol. My condition got worse. I felt I was rejected or abounded by the person I mostly trusted. I really missed her. Her presence always made me happy. Then I started with waiting and watching her as she left her office in the evening. Then following her home. stalking her on the internet., invading her privacy. This eventually consumed my life. One day she caught me when I followed her. Then after I didn’t follow her. I’m afraid to break the law. I’m a good lawful citizen. I was filled with shame. Then my psychiatrist increased my medication dose . It helped me to settled my depression. I permanently deleted all of my social media accounts. We wanted to have an another baby. I spoke to my psychiatrist and requested to reduce the dose and we did. But now those thoughts are popping up again. I feel again I miss her. It’s extremely painful. I fight with my thoughts. The pressure builds up in my mind drives me in to suicidal ideation. I searched the options in the internet to get sucide. Can’t I have an another baby? I’m afraid, i will regret in 10 years because of these thoughts I couldn’t have an another child. I’m afraid,one day my daughter will hates me. She will question why my mum loved her psychologist than me and why she left me and committed suicide . I’m totally obsessed with my psychologist. I can’t get her out of my head. When I entered therapy I had no idea any of this would happen. It’s so painful,humiliating, disgusting and disappointing. Please somebody help me.Please tell me how to get her out from my head. Thank you.

Just wanna express my own feelings...

replies: 1

Hello all. I have noticed that i'm not right at the moment, prob not a moment, it's more like a few years or so. it all starts with one time i had argument with my family member, i was in anger and the rage made me hit the table (i think or something near) the pain brings my feelings back, i was extremely upset and angry but after the pain everything start to feel better. At that time i wasn't aware of the term "self-harm" so it like a prefect treatment for me when i'm feeling down and depressed. and it's gets worst when one time i was crying and self-harmed. It was a really bad start like a pandora's box. typically i don't have anything big to make me self-harm, because i read about some relating articles, my life was just normal and sometimes quite good, i'm sorry, this sounds that i'm a picky person, but that method seems to be the only treatment i have as i got older, my temper also gets bad in times. Based on my symptoms i thought i could be having bpd or something, but i know i can't just self-diagnosis these just because i have a bad temper. my family is really traditional, they don't want their kid to be mentally ill, and i don't have the money to go up to a mental doctor. I barely have a suicided thoughts but it disappear when i think about everything i've got now. i used to have minor evidence on self-harm on my arms, it's really light so no one ever noticed it, but one time my family member asked what happend and i have to deny nothing but random scratches. than i think it's worse because i start to self-harm on my thigh, and i'm hematophobia so i'm under extreme sad was released by self harm and a strong dizziness. i won't suicide, i know myself. just wanna find somewhere to share my feelings, i have no friends to share my struggles, they prob think i'm weird, used to a have a friends online that i told about it implicitly, they give me good feedbacks and comforts but i don't wants to keep annoy them with my negative feeling everyday. About the bpd thoughts, i have a bad temper when i was little, i thought it's generally passed down from one of my family member, but for now i'm not too sure about it...i wrote this down because i'm in another extreme emotional downhill, the only thing i can do is self harm and keep crying, really don't know what to do. Thank you if you read my whole complain and emo little paragraph, i will try my best

how do i move on with life

replies: 1

hello just going to start by saying idk if anyone else is similar but i’m really struggling with what to do next had some stuff happen (SA/other) and i’ve got a bit of trauma from it but during that time of my life i was self harming daily and tried to leave this earth a couple times. all that coupled with anxiety and depression sent me down a crazy spiral it’s now been a while since all that stuff and life has improved significantly. i no longer harm and stuff like that however i do still think about it all the time i know that i shouldn’t and that it’s wrong to do it and even though i have no real reason i can’t seem to get it out of my head. i want to put it all behind me but i’m really not sure how to. like i feel as though i should be over it now but it still affects me quite a bit and i still have panic attacks and stuff about it even though it can no longer hurt me anyone else in a similar boat or have any idea what to do. i’m really stuck. i just want to be done with it all and forget about it already

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

I just want someone to talk to replies: 4

Suicidailty and DSP application replies: 4

Exhausted replies: 1

advice? replies: 2

Hi replies: 2

Help I guess. replies: 2

Memory blanks replies: 1

obsessed with psychologist replies: 5

Just wanna express my own feelings... replies: 1

how do i move on with life replies: 1