Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

LJpd81 How to ask your GP for help for referral for psychologist.
  • replies: 104

Hi I am new here. For a while now I have had feelings of being sad and depressed,crying and drinking too much. Something is wrong with me. I feel I need to talk to someone. I usually talk to my best friend. She has her own issues at the moment and I ... View more

Hi I am new here. For a while now I have had feelings of being sad and depressed,crying and drinking too much. Something is wrong with me. I feel I need to talk to someone. I usually talk to my best friend. She has her own issues at the moment and I don't want to burden my husband or family or worry them. Was thinking of asking my doctor for a referral for a psychologist. She does healthcare plans there. I feel very nervous to ask in case she thinks I am being dramatic, silly or not sad enough. How should I ask my doctor please? What do I say? I find this more nerve racking than telling her my medical issues. Thanks very much.

SleepingisWhenImHappy I’m unsure how I go about getting out of living in Bed
  • replies: 6

Hi To All, Fi Here ! I’m in a position where I’m worried about how to get out of bed.Clearly I am depressed. I’m also had therapy however I am STUCK !! I do have a lot of stress factors, try not to even think about anything. Unfortunately death passe... View more

Hi To All, Fi Here ! I’m in a position where I’m worried about how to get out of bed.Clearly I am depressed. I’m also had therapy however I am STUCK !! I do have a lot of stress factors, try not to even think about anything. Unfortunately death passes my mind every day, however my safety plan is my Will isn’t written up, knowing this fact to me works . Throw in grief that’s going onto 5 years. I was on antidepressants however they stopped working a long time ago. I have cut everyone bar 2 people out of my life .I sleep heaps , awake early hours , watch mindless shows too not think.Is there places to go? I’m on disability.Any suggestions , I am aware exercise,routine etc BUT “IM JUST STUCK “ thanks for reading my post.DEPRESSION SUCKS

Redsoxs Thoughts of ending it all, I won't but the thoughts are getting more regular
  • replies: 4

Hi. Today I have decided to deal with depression once and for all. This weekend I felt quite suicidal and posted on LinkedIn what now feels like a goodbye note. I can't get interviews for jobs and I've pretty much given up. I use booze to take the pa... View more

Hi. Today I have decided to deal with depression once and for all. This weekend I felt quite suicidal and posted on LinkedIn what now feels like a goodbye note. I can't get interviews for jobs and I've pretty much given up. I use booze to take the pain away. I bumped into my neighbour who is a young GP and I was brave enough to ask for advice, well belp, hence I'm here writing my pain down. I have no family and not many friends. I believe I suffer from CPTSD but want to see a doctor tomorrow and hopefully get some counselling. However, being made redundant and not getting employment is taken its toll. It's scary thinking about suicide. OK, I just wanted to write something down, sorry if it's a rambling. Best regards.

Supermum Emotionally, spiritually and physically tired
  • replies: 159

Hello all, the last 2 and a half years have been exhausting and I feel like I am just living in an empty universe. I don’t want to talk to my family, my psychologist or anyone . I just want to be quiet and alone. Sometimes life is bearable and I love... View more

Hello all, the last 2 and a half years have been exhausting and I feel like I am just living in an empty universe. I don’t want to talk to my family, my psychologist or anyone . I just want to be quiet and alone. Sometimes life is bearable and I love my children and feel more committed to living but other times I just want it to stop. For the silence and peace to begin. Would it be so awful for those around me to no longer have me in their lives as my constant up and down with sadness must be as tiring for them as it is for me. Things that used to help me focus and be grateful for small things don’t seem to snap me back into place and I just don’t want to do this anymore pure and simple.

...Gekota *Trigger Warning* I really don’t want to keep going so why am I still here?
  • replies: 3

I am so lonely. I have no friends, I lost all my good online friends. All my other friends make me feel like I should get it over and done with now because it’s not like they’d care very much if I were gone. I’m so so tired. I’m scared. I want to die... View more

I am so lonely. I have no friends, I lost all my good online friends. All my other friends make me feel like I should get it over and done with now because it’s not like they’d care very much if I were gone. I’m so so tired. I’m scared. I want to die, I want to kill my self. I can’t stop thinking about it every day. It all too much for me the world is too big and it just too much I can’t keep living like this I don’t want to keep living at all I just want to put my self too peace painlessly so I can leave. So why am I still here? It’s just causing me even more pain to be alive and I don’t want this I don’t want to live anymore. I’ve gotten to the point that even though I do love my parents I don’t even have the selflessness to care about what killing my self would do too them I just want to get myself out of this. I hate it here. I hate it so much, I hate this feeling, I hate myself, I just want to get out I want to sleep and never wake Back up into this cruel world again. Let me die. So why am I not dead? I know I’m just causing myself more hurt and pain by staying but I don’t want to feel any more pain. What do I do? I know no one will tell me to kill myself here. But I honestly don’t see how anything could get better. I feel like I’ll be alive for a while. I don’t want to feel anymore pain I just want to dissolve in numbness.

Adele80 Am I really suicidal
  • replies: 4

Hi, I recently lost my best friend, my beautiful, loving and kind mum in March of this year. I wish I had died with her. We communicated daily, she was always there for me and I for her. I am 41 years old, no kids. I am already on anti-depressants fo... View more

Hi, I recently lost my best friend, my beautiful, loving and kind mum in March of this year. I wish I had died with her. We communicated daily, she was always there for me and I for her. I am 41 years old, no kids. I am already on anti-depressants for depression/anxiety/PTSD. Resultant of earlier childhood trauma and teenage issues. I was mums carer for the last 18months since she was diagnosed with cancer. I spend my waking hours (which is a lot as I can only seem to manage sleep from about 5am to 9am), just being tremendously sad and crying and wishing she was here, or that I was with her. I have suicidal thoughts. However, I feel if I was going to commit suicide I would have already done it. I also feel that as I am a person who loves organising/planning things to the last detail that the fact I have a suicide plan all worked out is not that much of a risk indicator for me, as I love to plan many things even if I never do them (ex: holidays, house renovations). I guess what I am asking is, is my suicidal thoughts just a cry for help/attention or do I really think I could kill myself? I just don’t know how to live without my mum, life doesn’t seem right/good anymore without her in it. Thanks for any replies.

MyProfile Will never be good enough
  • replies: 3

I will start by reassuring that I have no intentions of harming myself, but I did feel that this section of the forums was the most fitting. I believe that I will never be good enough for this world, well actually just society. As a living breathing ... View more

I will start by reassuring that I have no intentions of harming myself, but I did feel that this section of the forums was the most fitting. I believe that I will never be good enough for this world, well actually just society. As a living breathing animal I am enough. Some days that's all that keeps me going, literally just survival of the flesh. There are so many pressures in this world! I had a sh*tty upbringing and consequently I have c-ptsd. It's hard just getting from moment to moment sometimes, let alone meeting the never ending expectations of having a job, being perfect looking, having amazing hobbies, having lots of friends, owning lots of fancy things, changing the world for the better... I swear the expectations grow each year. I haven't worked in over 5 years. My anxiety is crippling. I've just had a baby and hate myself that I don't work, I surely am not good enough to have a baby if I can't work, right? Inside I am an overwhelmed mess to the point that I feel defeated, numb... I honestly feel like I would be better off dead (what a relief!) and that the world and my loved ones would be better off without me. I don't believe I am depressed. Just realistic. What worth do I have in this world? I am just a burden, a drain on the precious resources that have been designated only to the lucky ones who grew up able to function in this circus. Who gets to decide what is enough?

Guest_2350 Numb
  • replies: 4

Hi, I’m struggling with the new restrictions and not knowing how long this is going on for and if it will ever get different. I’ve worked really hard to see a future and now it’s all different again. I’d just got to a point where I actually had somet... View more

Hi, I’m struggling with the new restrictions and not knowing how long this is going on for and if it will ever get different. I’ve worked really hard to see a future and now it’s all different again. I’d just got to a point where I actually had something to look forward to and see family I love that I haven’t seen for 3 years and now when I think about what I see in the future, there’s nothing. If I let myself get attached or look to the future, life happens and I get hurt. I try not to get attached but that doesn’t really work out either. There’s so much happening around and there are other trauma anniversaries coming up and then it’s non binary day today. I’m just a bit overloaded. Sorry for the rant.

Rupes79 How do you know if you’re at risk of suicide?
  • replies: 4

I’ve been having a pretty tough time the last 6 or so weeks. There are times when I am very depressed. Sometimes I string a long a couple of good days but it’s rare. Most days are tough. Im often occupied with thoughts of why do I even bother continu... View more

I’ve been having a pretty tough time the last 6 or so weeks. There are times when I am very depressed. Sometimes I string a long a couple of good days but it’s rare. Most days are tough. Im often occupied with thoughts of why do I even bother continuing to live when it is so unpleasant? Why do I feel like I have nothing to live for? I look and see people who are happy and content and ask myself why I don’t have that. What is making them happy and me so miserable? What do I have to do to enjoy life? Hence the title for this thread how do you know if you’re at risk of suicide? If you feel you have nothing to live for and that you’d be better off dead than alive are you suicidal? I suppose because when truly suicidal you end it you don’t get to relive and learn from that experience because it’s over so how do you know what and when that feeling is? In terms of feeling safe yes right now I am safe.

Flash76 Help for a friend
  • replies: 2

My dear friend's (E) beautiful 15 yr old daughter (H) has started self-harming. H started becoming withdrawn about 6 months ago and E has managed to get her to see a psychologist once, but she refuses to go again. H is very angry with her mum, and E ... View more

My dear friend's (E) beautiful 15 yr old daughter (H) has started self-harming. H started becoming withdrawn about 6 months ago and E has managed to get her to see a psychologist once, but she refuses to go again. H is very angry with her mum, and E has asked me to try and talk to her. H and I are close, but I would hate to say the wrong thing. I would appreciate any advice. Thanks, a very worried friend.