Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Over life again

replies: 2

I’m tired of depression I’m tired of my chronic fatigue. I’m tired of being disrespected and made to feel worthless and used by my mind game playing ex. I reached out to her for help last week after letdown after letdown from life these last 12 months and didn’t want to live anymore. She has been the only one I’ve ever opened up to about my depression and felt I could count on her. After I opened up to her she basically ignored my texts and calls then blocked me completely after I asked her for help. I was dealing with self injury because my life is so screwed up. Why do I still love this girl when she put me through this last year as well with her manipulation and narcissistic cruelty.

Do you see people differently after finding out about there suicide attempt?

replies: 11

When someone you know has had a suicide attempt, does it forever change how you see them? How does it affect you short term and long term as a friend or a family member of the person who attempted it and survived? I’m glad I’ve never been on the receiving end of it but it does worry me the affects I may have caused on the people who love me due to my past attempt. As a survivor, I do feel embarrassed and guilty for it.

im struggling

replies: 3

idk im just getting really tired. ive had depression for two years, anxiety since i was 8 and it has been getting worse in the last three years. idk why i feel so down but i just cant get out of this depressive episode. idk what to do.

Im so tired and I dont have the strength to fight this anymore

replies: 4

Firstly I want to apologize if this is not formatted correctly (I never was good writing/typing tings). A little bit of back info, Im 37M, have a wife and 3 kids, my first memory of "suicidal" thoughts were when i was around 8, i come from a broken family, im on medication due to my depression, i have a phycologist that i see (not recently because we cant afford it). I really dont know what to say or why im even doing this, I just feel like i have let everyone down, i am ashamed of the type of man i have become and i am really tired of fighting. This disease has taken so much away from me, i struggle to maintain a "healthy" working life (I have to take quite a lot of sick days, sometimes weeks on end), the burden i put on my wife and others around me eats away at me. Without fail every 1 to 2 months my depression comes back and every time i does it comes back stronger and more intense. I have attempted suicide twice before. I feel like every time i overcome my depression it chips away at me bit by bit till the point that i will do something that I and my family will regret. I just cant cope anymore, i am so very tired. Im sorry.

Will this ever end?

replies: 9

I have been battling depression and suicidal ideation for over two years now. I have been in therapy which has helped and tried medication which didn’t help much at all. I spent the first of those two years in absolute misery and wanting to end my life constantly, and I attempted on several occasions. I had a breakdown, essentially lost my job and spent several months in a fog; sleeping, eating and YouTubing and felt so hopeless. The last Year has seen progress but still up and down. I have seen some hope for the future but periods also where I thought that suicide was what I should do. I feel I have made progress in identifying and addressing the underlying causes of the pain I still feel. I feel like such a fraud. I go about my life and I look like all is ok, good even. I smile, laugh, joke. But I don’t want to be here. I keep thinking of ways to not be here even planning sometimes. It is so hard. I make plans for living too so that I will be forced to stay but it is not quite enough. I hate living this way. It is so isolating and makes me feel like I am so alone. It makes me careful what I say as I don’t want to be known as having a mental illness. The stigma on having a mental illness in our society facilitates that.

Very lost

replies: 2

Hi, pls don’t judge me but I was abuse as a child physically, mentally and emotionally by my mother. I’m from a single parent. I drank a lot but then I married a great guy. We had 2 kids. With the 2nd child I nearly died giving birth and then my mum said nasty things that made break down and not only did I suffered from a postnatal depression all the trauma I had as a child came back. I wanted to divorce my husband and thought cheating was the only way. I did a couple of times and finally admit it to him hoping that he will divorce me but I love him too much. We were ok for a couple of years but I had a lot of dark thoughts and I drank too much. Then I attempted suicide 2 years but survived. But currently things are not going well for me. I couldn’t get a job coz of the jab. I can’t travel and my relationship is not that great. Last week I drank too much and blacked out and cheated on my husband again. And now I feel really shitty. I don’t dare to tell my husband as he is a good person and at the sane time I don’t want to worry my kids but right now I feel all I do in this world is cause pain to ppl that I love. In religion I was told I will go to hell. So if I kill myself I’ll go to hell too. I feel like there is no turning back for me. I feel like I’m a useless garbage. And a useless to the society and my family. Pls tell me what should i do?

Embarrassed

replies: 5

I’m 50yro still act like I’m only 20 I’ve had a hard life been belittled at school and at a lot of jobs even abused by a bossAlcohol has Been my go too since I was 13 started smoking at 9.I know alcohol is a deppresent yet it’s my drug of choice but as I sit here night after night fighting suicide thoughts alone wow I drink more and I don’t stop.Im a functual alcoholic as I’m writing this it’s 2am and I start work at 8am yet I don’t sleep real good as I mentioned earlier my young life haunts me night after night self worth zero I even feel like a low life in front of my kids Every night now I force myself not to go and do the end but it’s getting harder

Needing someone to talk to

replies: 3

Hi all, just wanted to say before I get into the nitty gritty that these forums are amazing and I’m so glad they exist. Recently I’ve not been feeling so great, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ocd, bpd and autism. In the past I’ve had self harm issues and I am trying so very hard to stay clean. But I woke up this morning and cannot keep my mind clean. Everything is overwhelming and I am so very depressed that I didn’t want to get out of bed. I live with my bf and he hasn’t been much help which has made me spiral even more. I can’t stop my mind from telling me things that I know aren’t true. But it feels pretty shit that my bf would rather play games and talk to his friends than sit with me while I’m in a dark period. The only thing that’s made me slightly happy today is my dog he is great and won’t leave my side. But I’m trying so hard not to slip up and self harm. My life just seems like it has no purpose at the moment which makes the depression even worse. I’m embarrassed to talk to people about it because I’m worried they will judge. I love my bf but I can’t help but feel a little bit neglected right now because of the roles were reversed I would do anything in my power to make sure that he was okay and it feels pretty sh*t that he won’t do the same for me. I’ve tried talking to my friends about it but they all judge him straight away and say I would be better off without him but they don’t know him the way I do. He’s normally super supportive so I don’t know what’s changed. I just want him to prioritise me for once. Especially since I told him how depressed I am. I feel like he never takes me seriously and it’s hard to not spiral even further down. I am trying so very hard not to slip up because I am a week clean from self harming but my substance abuse issues are far from okay. I just want to feel prioritised for once in my life so I don’t feel the need to self harm and do drugs to make me feel something. I hope someone who reads this and has gone through a similar situation can guide me through this. love and light to you all

So Tired of Battling My Mind

replies: 4

Hi all, I want to start by saying how wonderful these forums are, and how inspiring everyone’s journey is. I’m in a point just now where I’m not actively suicidal. I have no plans to hurt myself, BUT I have found myself wishing a lot recently that I’d never been born. I feel like I can’t take this pain anymore. Trying to quiet the voices in my head is a full time job, and I’m just exhausted. I’ve battled with anxiety (no meds, no formal diagnosis) all my life, and I have an impossibly high bar for myself. If I make one mistake in something, my whole life may as well be a failure. I’m not like this with other people, just me; my standards for myself far exceed any I would hold those around me to. I am very fortunate in life, which just makes me feel even worse (like I don’t have a reason to feel this way.) I have a wonderful and loving husband, a very supportive work environment - so any time I feel I can’t go on I end up being even more mean to myself, like there’s people with real problems who aren’t as much of a downer as me. It’s so hard to battle this inner self critic though. That part of me is so strong, and so mean. Nothing I ever do is good enough for myself. I live in a constant state of comparison, and find myself lacking or coming up short at every turn. I often wish for really horrible things to happen to me so that I would either not feel like this anymore, or at the very least be able to give myself a break. I do see a counsellor (last 6 years), and she thinks the way I berate myself comes from my parents and my poor relationship with them; I’ve taken over their criticism as I’ve grown, kind of thing. The struggle for me is that I’ve got all this in life now that should make me happy - my husband, my job - but I still feel like I’d give it all up in a heartbeat if it would take this pain away. That’s so selfish of me, but I would rather have never been born (even if it meant never having met my husband, who is the best thing to ever happen to me) if it meant that I didn’t have to feel like this and fight so hard just to keep going in the wake of all this self criticism. I’m 30 right now and when I picture the future, instead of imagining nice things, all I feel is dread. I can’t do another 30 or 40 years of this battle - I’ve been doing it since my teens and I’m already completely drained. If anyone out there can give me some advice about how I can move forward and start truly enjoying my life, I would be forever grateful. Stay strong x

13 year old boy in highschool - feeling suicidal

replies: 13

Hello, i am a 13 year old boy and i couldnt talk about suicide in young adults and teens section so im doing it here. over the weekend i tried to harm myself. my mum told me that my life is precious and that kind of stuff. why am i trying to kill myself? error 404: Reason not found. Some stuff about me real quick. as stated i am a 13 year old boy in highschool. i have clinical depression and ADHD, Autism, Low muscle tone and im very fat, I weigh more than my mother (she is in her early 40s ) i am ashamed of myself and i fight myself all the time. Well i have to wrap this up because i am almost out of battery. Thanks for reading, A suicidal studant who does not believe in himself.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Over life again replies: 2

Do you see people differently after finding out about there suicide attempt? replies: 11

im struggling replies: 3

Im so tired and I dont have the strength to fight this anymore replies: 4

Will this ever end? replies: 9

Very lost replies: 2

Embarrassed replies: 5

Needing someone to talk to replies: 3

So Tired of Battling My Mind replies: 4

13 year old boy in highschool - feeling suicidal replies: 13