Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Pinned discussions

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

Confused about my grief

replies: 3

My son died 9 weeks ago. He is my middle child and we had a very special bond and I loved him more than life itself. He was a much loved and desperately wanted IVF baby. I’m just not understanding my grieving process. The last 2 days it is like nothing has happened or changed, I just block it all or feel nothing and carry on as normal. I feel so guilty and like I must be a monstrous human being. Have I gone into denial? How can that be possible given my previous overwhelming grief? Tonight I’m back to crying…it’s a roller coaster. His father also suicided when my son was very young-2 and a 1/2. My youngest child (different father who also has significant mental health issues) is currently in a private health clinic for their grief further complicated by their pre existing mental health issues. I think I kept trying to rescue the men I married but just made things worse. The common denominator is me. I think about ending my own life because I am a failure as a mother and a human being. And I miss my son and want to be where he is, or if he isn’t anywhere, then not feeling so useless, hopeless and in pain. But my (now) husband who is completely wonderful has been so supportive and strong I would hurt him immeasurably if I died and I don’t know if my youngest would survive. I always told my son who suicided that when he was depressed or placing himself in dangerous situations to think about me because I would be right there with him, if he died, I would too. It was like a pact. So how do I choose? I’m trapped. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, nothing makes sense to me at the moment. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Frustrated with myself my thoughts and my past

replies: 9

Hi Im feeling alone with all these thoughts, they bother me sometimes until it triggers another problem or just messes with me and makes me feel guilty. I guess I was just hoping to get things of my chest and perhaps maybe someone can relate. 2 years ago I was admitted to hospital following an attempt. I was also admitted for the same reason 1 months prior. That period was a horrible time in my life. For about 2 years leading up to this I constantly thought like that - really dark stuff. I didn’t always want to but there were stages when it was constant and relentless. I was in year 7 when I first thought of it. I was constantly worrying about going mad and the fact that it felt like I was loosing my mind. Looking back it was my OCD moving up to a much higher degree than I had previously experienced. I thought that if one of these things that I’m constantly worried about isn’t actually going to hurt anybody or me but still left me feel like this then one day I would probably do something extreme. I am safe, and studying and trying hard to move on with my life. But I know I overthink things and it’s bothering me. I worry a lot about the attempt. I heard people talk about theirs and I’ve read about it, they seem to say that really they didn’t want it. I am so happy to be alive today! But I didn't back then I felt so stupid for not getting it to work properly. I was so depressed afterwards and yet still so anxious. My voice actually seemed to go away the second time. I would speak and no one would hear what I had said. I don’t even know sometimes how many “attempts” I actually have had. As I was so desperate for what seemed like forever. Sometimes now I feel really lucky that I made it and then I think I’m silly for thinking that. Now days songs and things sometimes still get me as they remind me of pain, mental and physical from back then. But that frustrates me as I am the only one to blame for all of that. I hid symptoms, I lied constantly to everyone: I love and my mum was the one who found me. I have caused my family pain and that hurts. At the time everything I did felt like the best option I had available, but I feel I can’t complain. No one has ever really hurt me beyond the basics and I have a wonderful family.

Advice for extreme anxiety and suicidal

replies: 3

Hi, I am thinking I need to possibly admit myself to hospital. Is my GP the best way. Needing medical treatment and extreme anxiety and suicidal.

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

replies: 89

Hi lovely people I just wanted to start this thread as "self harm" seems to be an increasing topic that I have noticed lately. Firstly there is some wonderful information at this link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/feeling-suicidal/self-harm-and-self-injury Some of the discussion I have been involved in I am hearing that the "techniques" that are suggested to people to do or use instead of hurting themselves is "silly", "don't work", "well if it was that easy I wouldn't be here". So I want to reach out to anyone and everyone to perhaps put down three or four or as many as you feel comfortable to, tips that DO WORK for you. I have suggested smashing plates, in a controlled space of course and not your mum's best plates either! Do you think this would work? I think knowledge is power and the more we share knowledge we can use it to help others and to make a difference, a real difference in someone else's healing. I also understand this is a sensitive topic but if you feel comfortable to share what works for you or what you need in that time that stops you from hurting yourself that would be so helpful. Please be mindful this is a sensitive topic so just dot point the things you do instead of hurting yourself. Huge hugs to you all. Sarah xxx

Hit rock bottom

replies: 5

Hey, Ive been experiencing really bad anxiety and depression for the last 5 months or so to the point that I was in hospital on Tuesday and Wednesday and very scared that I would end it all. Going to have blood tests done to see if there are any problems (maybe deficiences or thyroid issues) and am having an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow. I am glad that I am still here today and hoping that this forum will help me on my road to recovery

Suicidal thoughts- life can only get better

replies: 0

The "absence of logic"? Another way to put it- "the peak of emotions misplaced". Community champions here offer peer support based on their experience and knowledge, essentially, in all other ways we are like you. I recall the day my tears filled the nearby creek and the mere thought of losing my full time fatherhood...I muffled grief in my shed. I recall every moment in 1996, one week before her narcissism that forced me to leave. So it's that reflection of my mental state that I'm here talking about it now. There is little logic to it. Emotions are really high and you believe there is no way out- there is though, but your mind isn't in the state to allow you that logic to see clearly. I can say that what really saved me was two things. A few years earlier my father, sensing my wife was twisting my mind, said "better to be the best part time dad...than no dad at all" That I had plenty of time to review life on my own, my living arrangements, my interests. With those two assets I left the family home but before I did I kissed my infant girls on their forehead as they slept and took their favourite 'golden book' Saggy baggy elephant with me. For that was the nightly ritual, to read it as they snuggled in bed. Even though, some nights dad took short cuts "once upon a time...the end, sleep tight". "What about Baggy dad"? There is some messages here. If your spouse is a tyrant of any sort remember- tyrants never "win" If not a tyrant you just might not be able to live together. It happens That your children deserve you part time or half share. You are important That the grief is temporary That life can be how you plan it, it doesnt have to be all bad memories It's ok to seek help, professionals, even one chat be it on the phone to lifeline 131114 or beyondblue at the bottom of this page in red. A few words can make sense when your own senses are confused I recall it was February that year yet at xmas time I drove into that town to collect my kids for an extended visit. I had to pull over to contain my sadness, my first xmas not at our home. So 10 months later there were those times. But I did what became a routine- I wiped away my sorrow and switched to task mode- to provide a smile on my childrens faces. My focus on them more important Remarried, very happy, I'd built my own home post separation from my ex, kids grown, hobbies, interests and a wonderful life. Please remember- at your lowest point, life can only get better. Life can only get better... TonyWK

Told my psychiatrist finally

replies: 69

I heard from my psychiatrist and have finally responded. My email was written over several days and I heavily edited to remove the immaterial. At the end I decided to tell them about tapering and stopping medication. It seems only fair as they have cared enough to write. Now I want to cry and wish I had not said anything. I don't like feeling vulnerable and having been open and honest about my thoughts, feelings and actions upsets me. I do know on an intellectual level that for there to be any hope of a therapeutic relationship when the psychiatrist is back open honesty is essential. On the emotional level I want to cry and run. I am so unsure just now.

Hurting to deal with hurt and shame

replies: 3

Hi everyone, I started on medication for OCD recently and began starting to really beat myself up about mistakes I made. I have always held myself to a really high standard but now whenever I make mistakes I feel really horrible about them. Some of them it is perfectly normal to feel bad and I have apologised profusely to my friends to which they have accepted and I’ve tried to move on but I just can’t. The guilt is consuming and I urge to harm gets worse. Now I have to wear leggings and long shirts all the time otherwise people will see. I can never seem to forgive myself and it really sucks.

I dont want to die, I just dont want to exist.

replies: 2

For as many months I can remember now I want to disappear. I dont want to kill or harm myself because it would destroy my Mum but I just want to stop exisiting. Im currently looking for an in patient facility to try and keep myself in check but its so, so hard and I am starting to loose faith. Does anyone have any advice on what to do and fast track this so I can admit myself?

Don’t want life to end but keep thinking about it ??

replies: 8

Hi, I'm currently really struggling I’m not sure where to start… Yesterday I was supposed to have my first psychologist appointment but I accidentally overslept and missed it and I was so upset I felt so stupid like how did I let that happen and it really tipped me over. My sleep schedule is beyond repair, my bedtime is 6am and all I do is cry when I think about sleeping and then having to wakeup. I have a casual job, it’s not hard 3 times a week really easy stuff not stressful but every time I think about working or having a shift I get a dreaded feeling in my stomach and don’t want to go, I also go to uni 2 times a week but I’ve missed 3 weeks worth of class because I can’t wakeup, can’t get out of bed I have panic attacks thinking about needing to work and go to uni, I feel stupid, when I do go I’m exhausted I’m on the verge of tears all day in class or through my whole shift. All I think about is going home and I’m checking the time every minute wishing the day was over. I did really love what I was learning and I want to continue uni and I have friends there but for some reason it’s just so exhausting. ive been hurting myself, and recently I’ve been daydreaming about everything ending? I don’t want to die. I don't know what to do, I have an amazing boyfriend who supports me but I can’t keep dumping my thoughts onto him, I feel like the only reason I havnt hurt myself really bad is because I have him. Sometimes I think to myself though, how can I can get a valid break from everything? I also don’t have an appetite I think it’s because I sleep all day and when I’m awake I don’t have the energy to make myself food so I just don’t eat, I did have a meal today when my boyfriend was over but other than that not much, and now I have a raging headache. it feels good to type this out, I haven’t been this honest with anyone because I feel guilty and embarrassed ….. I'm lost please help

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 96

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Confused about my grief replies: 3

Frustrated with myself my thoughts and my past replies: 9

Advice for extreme anxiety and suicidal replies: 3

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points) replies: 89

Hit rock bottom replies: 5

Suicidal thoughts- life can only get better replies: 0

Told my psychiatrist finally replies: 69

Hurting to deal with hurt and shame replies: 3

I dont want to die, I just dont want to exist. replies: 2

Don’t want life to end but keep thinking about it ?? replies: 8