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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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emharis Trying to get better buts its an act
  • replies: 2

Im just recently 14. I have been having many struggles recently including body dysmorphia, anxiety and more. i guess i have just been feeling empty lately and i cry pretty much every second of the day. i have this group of friends that i absolutely a... View more

Im just recently 14. I have been having many struggles recently including body dysmorphia, anxiety and more. i guess i have just been feeling empty lately and i cry pretty much every second of the day. i have this group of friends that i absolutely adore with my whole heart. They always used to go on about how they love me because im so bubbly, happy and optimistic. the thing is recently i have been the complete opposite of that. i walk around school and i feel like i am mentally not there. I am miserable and whenever i am around my friends i have noticed that i bring them down with me. Not on purpose but im just so sad that it makes them sad. so they all just kind of go off at lunch and go to other people. i dont even blame them. i know they are worried about me but everytime they ask, i insist im ok. i wanna go back to how i used to be, to the person my friends love so that we can become closer again so i pretend. but its exhausting and it never works. so every day we drift further apart because i cant even pretend to be happy. its all my fault. And every time i notice a hint of us drifting apart i run to the school bathrooms and bawl my eyes out because i genuinley dont know what to do. i need help so badly but i dont know how. I dont even want to be alive because im mentally not even alive, only physically. I feel like i cant breathe and it hurts so badly. it feels so good to feel sad. to not eat and to cry. but thats causing me to lose my friends. i know that sounds horrible. it hardly sounds like a problem but they are genuinley the only people keeping me alive at this point. i know that didnt really make sense but i just wanna be happy so i dont lose my best friends.

Lapiz Regular suicidal thoughts
  • replies: 6

I'm fearful. I've been depressed for a number of months and my thoughts of suicide are getting worse and more frequent. I feel like I'm moving closer and closer to it each day. I have a psych working with me but I haven't disclosed how close I have b... View more

I'm fearful. I've been depressed for a number of months and my thoughts of suicide are getting worse and more frequent. I feel like I'm moving closer and closer to it each day. I have a psych working with me but I haven't disclosed how close I have been to enacting a plan. I feel like I'm an attention seeker. I have many opportunities in life, I'm fairly smart, social and bright on the outside. I'm broke and isolated but not in any pain and I don't struggle with things. There are quite a few people who love and care about me. But I'm unable to reach out for help, and when I do it's not enough to just hear kind words about how things will be ok. I feel worthless, hopeless, trapped and can't see how things can change. Each day I go through the motions, eat, socialise, exercise and look for work, but also continue to feel I'd like this feeling to end and keep having new ideas towards a plan. I'm worried when I'll have everything nearby I may act on the thoughts. I'm exhausted and want some advice on how to speak to my psych.

AnnaMac Can't face losing my cat
  • replies: 3

I'm afraid of being laughed at because she's 'just' a cat, but she's kept me going for the last 7 years since we found her. My whole day happens around her - I can get up because she's there and she puts me to bed at night. She's been my mother, sist... View more

I'm afraid of being laughed at because she's 'just' a cat, but she's kept me going for the last 7 years since we found her. My whole day happens around her - I can get up because she's there and she puts me to bed at night. She's been my mother, sister, friend, child - my everything. Now it looks like she has cancer and I'm terrified of the emptiness when she goes. The nights are the worst; I can't stop crying and I'm so sad and miserable that I just want to end it. I have PMDD so my depression gets very bad for one to two weeks of the month and I think constantly about suicide even on a 'good' month. I'm very lucky to have a boyfriend who's incredibly good, but I don't know how to cope with this loss. I'm afraid that the person I am on the bad weeks will undo me.

fangface how am i supposed to cope with constant suicidal ideation?
  • replies: 4

i feel so lost, i don't know who to talk to or what to tell them and i need help i've attempted in the past but right now nobody close to me knows just how bad things have gotten. i'm constantly switching between wanting to get help and wanting to le... View more

i feel so lost, i don't know who to talk to or what to tell them and i need help i've attempted in the past but right now nobody close to me knows just how bad things have gotten. i'm constantly switching between wanting to get help and wanting to let myself spiral. i don't know what to say anymore other than i'm tired. i started seeing a new therapist this week (i recently turned 18 and my last therapist, through cahms, stopped seeing me). i'm in a constant state of empty and it won't stop no matter what i do, no matter how many good days or distractions i have. a hospital stay is very anxiety-inducing for me as i don't like being away from home at night but it's all i can think of, and i don't even think they would admit me in my current state. where do i go now? what do i do?

fangface running out of options
  • replies: 4

i've been on a downward spiral lately and i'm running out of options. it's very difficult for me to feel safe when i'm alone and i can't distract myself anymore. i'm only holding on because i don't want to leave the people i care about behind but it ... View more

i've been on a downward spiral lately and i'm running out of options. it's very difficult for me to feel safe when i'm alone and i can't distract myself anymore. i'm only holding on because i don't want to leave the people i care about behind but it gets harder every day. i'm too scared to reach out and i don't know where to go or what to tell them. all i know is that i need help

GhostOfAGhost How much would I have to say for involuntary admission?
  • replies: 5

So I'm not in a particularly great headspace right now, and I want to say what I'm thinking to my doctor, but I'm afraid of being admitted. To Put it simply, I think about suicide daily, and seriously "research" it every couple of nights, harm fairly... View more

So I'm not in a particularly great headspace right now, and I want to say what I'm thinking to my doctor, but I'm afraid of being admitted. To Put it simply, I think about suicide daily, and seriously "research" it every couple of nights, harm fairly regularly, and tend to only get about 3-6 hours of sleep due to anxiety. I've Never told anyone about this, and the fact that no matter how much they up my medicines, it does nothing for me. I'm terrified to tell my Dr though cos I have no clue what they would do...

WishIwereSomeoneElse Broken Cancer Survivor. Im án ashamed mother and wife
  • replies: 11

I am beyond desperate. I have a long life history of CPTSD from childhood trauma to being a victim of crime. I was raped by my ex. I met the love of my life but failed him. I lost 2 out of 5 of our babies. I am always sick.'I have 3 additional needs ... View more

I am beyond desperate. I have a long life history of CPTSD from childhood trauma to being a victim of crime. I was raped by my ex. I met the love of my life but failed him. I lost 2 out of 5 of our babies. I am always sick.'I have 3 additional needs kids. I am a self-harmer & eating disorder. I cant even succeed in my suicide attempts. I recently battled Grade 3 triple-negative breast cancer. I survived but barely. I cannot cope. I am resisting the urge to hurt myself but I won't. I have 3 absolutely beautiful boys.I fought like hell for my life. I adore them and they need me. My husband&I have drifted apart. I feel so much shame over what I have done to him. He didn't know what he was in for marrying me. I made the "best thing that has ever happened to me" a shadow of himself. He had to keep the family going while I battled cancer. We lost our home and had to "couch surf" with family. We have been homeless ever since my diagnosis. We now live with my husbands side of the family to give my family a break. Living under the same roof with a family like mine, who has so many challenges causes major disturbance. I think I should leave. My husband cant stand me anymore. I see it in his eyes. He told me to go. Im destroying them. Honestly, I am. My husband said 6 words to me I will never forget "YOU HAVE HURT MY LIFE"... and God, it's so very true. I am so disappointed with how I have turned out. I know - deep down - that the greatest thing I could do for the ones I love, is to remove myself before more damage is done. I'm a crap magnet and don't want the boys to know what that is like. I have looked at free campgrounds near by so I can be near my boys. I have no money. I have nothing. I don't even have a car to sleep in. I just have the clothes on my back and the love in my heart for my children. I wished I could nourish the love in my heart that I have for my husband but I can't even look him in the eye. I'm such a disgusting disappointment. The best thing I can do is remove myself so that my beautiful family can pick up the pieces without me causing more disturbance, but I was the victim of a house invasion and have terrifying fears of the thought of camping by myself. I do not know one person here. Im in such deep deep dispair. Has ANYONE been in my position? Can anyone offer me a line of hope. I would never end it, because it would destroy my kids but Im so tortured and cant see daylight... I am shaking constantly. its horrible.

Alldolledup How to reach out - for real?
  • replies: 5

Hey everyone I hope you're all doing well So I've been struggling with anxiety/depression for a while and I've been going to a therapist and on medication for five years this year. It's good and it helped at first, but I've definitely become sorta st... View more

Hey everyone I hope you're all doing well So I've been struggling with anxiety/depression for a while and I've been going to a therapist and on medication for five years this year. It's good and it helped at first, but I've definitely become sorta stagnant with my progress and now things are regressing. Ive been in and out of severe depressive episodes since the end of 2019 and it's never entirely gone back to normal. At this point I've pretty much lost hope. I've been on and off suicidal for a couple years and I usually play it down when talking to people so as not to worry them. I've been told I likely am on the spectrum and have been screened for OCD and been told it's a high possibility, but no one is helpful. I've been two three psychiatrists and three psychologists and they've never taken the time to properly diagnose me with anything other than anxiety and gender incongruence. And even to get that took months and like five psychiatrist visits. I cannot go back to school. I cannot. I'm supposed to in a couple of days but I will just dissociate and become severely depressed again and I know that. I want to go to a psych ward for a couple weeks and see if it helps. I've read about it and I have friends who have been and really benefited from it, but my parents are really opposed to the idea. I think they think of mental asylums from the 1900s when they hear 'psych ward' rather than like proper therapy. And by asking to go to a psych ward, I feel like I'm overexaggerating or just looking for attention. I want a doctor to like suggest it naturally or something, but the only way I think they would is if I told them how serious I am feeling suicidal at times and I'm really bad at talking about that stuff. Anyway, any suggestions?

Pandemica The nights are the worst.
  • replies: 53

I find that the hardest time of all are the evenings. I live alone and the house is so quiet. I lay awake each night, not being able to sleep and the darkness outside my bedroom window matches the darkness inside of me. Its at these times that the sa... View more

I find that the hardest time of all are the evenings. I live alone and the house is so quiet. I lay awake each night, not being able to sleep and the darkness outside my bedroom window matches the darkness inside of me. Its at these times that the sadness feels so powerful and overwhelming. I can feel it sitting inside of my stomach like a heavy rock. I have lived a majority of my life like this and can't see any way to stop feeling like this. What are some strategies that people might use when both your thoughts and feelings are at their darkest.

ktac1689 Feeling suicidal off and on
  • replies: 20

Hi, It has been a little while since I have been here. I am generally one step forward two steps back. I am working again and had not disclosed the events of last year or my suicide attempts with anyone there as I do not want them treating me like a ... View more

Hi, It has been a little while since I have been here. I am generally one step forward two steps back. I am working again and had not disclosed the events of last year or my suicide attempts with anyone there as I do not want them treating me like a freak. I love my job and I think it is one of the few things really keeping me here. I have a good GP and have had to wait for another psych appointment due to working full time. I have not been feeling well and sleeping a lot of the time when not at work. I have been feeling so irritable a lot of the time too and lost a friend recently because of it. I still don’t want to be here. I start every week thinking I will end things on the weekend but when the weekend comes I manage to change my plans. This has happened for weeks. I haven’t told anyone about this as I don’t want people to think I am attention seeking or whatever. I do not ever want to go back into hospital either. Is anyone else feeling this way?