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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Scrabbling Deuce
  • replies: 47

What can I say I got a very unexpected visit at my house late at night last week from the crisis team. Probably don’t need to embellish but totally put on the spot to go voluntarily or they would take that decision away as well. Don’t know why they c... View more

What can I say I got a very unexpected visit at my house late at night last week from the crisis team. Probably don’t need to embellish but totally put on the spot to go voluntarily or they would take that decision away as well. Don’t know why they call it a choice? To say I was a tad upset is an understatement so here I am for the past 3 days In a perfectly safe room that I cannot believe how much thought they have put into avoiding incidents. I have been studied like a bug and I found it extremely unsettling when I can normally bluff my way through things. The staff seem nice but there are some really scary people hence I have remained in my room. The tablets have helped a bit with sleep so I’m hoping to go home today. Do they normally use the element of surprise to throw people?? Signed Scrabbling.

H-c I’m exhausted
  • replies: 2

I thought I was getting better because I stopped crying often. I thought I finally won, those thoughts that are overtaking my mind finally stopped. I’ve never been so wrong. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel more and more exhausted every single... View more

I thought I was getting better because I stopped crying often. I thought I finally won, those thoughts that are overtaking my mind finally stopped. I’ve never been so wrong. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel more and more exhausted every single day. These thoughts telling me to end it all gets louder and louder every night. I’m exhausted it’s not getting any better. I’ve tried to seek help and it’s not working. I feel like a burden to everyone and I just want it to stop. It’s gotten to the point where I start having random panic attacks when I’m in the public. I don’t have anything to look forward to. Don’t get me wrong, I tried like I really really tried. I tried to find reasons to live for, things to look forward to, small things to appreciate. I feel like a broken record, a person that’s drowning in a 5ft pool. It feels like I’m in a pool that’s not too deep but just deep enough to submerge my whole body up to my nose. I feel like I’m desperately trying to float only for me to choke on water. For once I just want to genuinely feel that warmth flowing through my body. I wan’t to go to bed at night looking forward to the next day, I want to be excited about my future. Cause frankly as of right now, I don’t know what to do anymore…

Roadsend So sad
  • replies: 4

I'm a lurker here, bit hard to be not "to dark" when your whole existence seem one dark place but I read the threads here and I know exactly how much pain the author is in, to me it's just so clear and like I have read in the threads just like me the... View more

I'm a lurker here, bit hard to be not "to dark" when your whole existence seem one dark place but I read the threads here and I know exactly how much pain the author is in, to me it's just so clear and like I have read in the threads just like me they cant get the physiatrist, doctors or anyone who hasn't lived this curse to understand just what a hell it is, when a day misery seems like forever and a week, month,and in my case years is countless forever's. Mine is a chemical imbalance, had it 40+ years, no hidden traumas, no dark events but the despair and misery are very real. Sometimes I luck out and a med will help for awhile, 1 med even gave me some years where I actually thought "gee I actually get why unaffected people are happy to be alive" it was a revelation, it was fantastic, it was fleeting, Like all the other drugs before and after, they became ineffective, I've literally forgotten the names of all the different drugs I've been on, lateral ECT [or was it bi lateral, I get them confused now, I've had both] certainly helped with that, wiped great heaps of memory, cant remember great tracks of time, I see photos of our X-Mass 2020 holiday get away and nothing, no memory of it at all, On the + side I was suffering misery then to and since that whole time is gone I guess that means I must have been in misery a shorter time since I cant remember it. Next week they plan to put me in ward again and zap me multiple times the first 2 weeks and then maintenance zaps there after. it would be nice if it could buy me even a little respite but I've done it all before and still I'm here where I do know the misery, despair and pain all these poor authors feel, frankly, even though I keep fighting, trying and hoping I don't really believe there is any hope for me, 40+ years is just too long to hold on to hope, I really don't want to hurt my wife, she loves me, and I love her, 37 years married.

pgret IM GAY! and its killing me....
  • replies: 3

im now 22 years of age and life seems to be getting harder. it all started when i was 15 and I came out as gay, of course nobody took me seriously and neglected me once they knew i wasnt joking, I've been wanting to kill myself for years now and have... View more

im now 22 years of age and life seems to be getting harder. it all started when i was 15 and I came out as gay, of course nobody took me seriously and neglected me once they knew i wasnt joking, I've been wanting to kill myself for years now and have 3 failed attempts. my first attempt was in 2016 after the boy i had a crush on abused me for trying to get close with him while being gay. my parents are also no help as they dont approve of me being gay and have thrown me out several times. things got so bad to the point I was homeless for 2 months to where my second suicide attempt happened. i got arrested and put in rehab for months but atleast i got shelter and food, so maybe that was a good thing. it seems that the whole world is against me and nobody likes me. I. Will. Never. Be. Okay.

bunnybunny I think I am insane
  • replies: 2

I have diagnosed autism, major depressive disorder, gad and anorexia. I have always been depressed, my dad has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders run in my mums side of the family. I was diagnosed with asd, gad and depression when I was 8/9 I don... View more

I have diagnosed autism, major depressive disorder, gad and anorexia. I have always been depressed, my dad has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders run in my mums side of the family. I was diagnosed with asd, gad and depression when I was 8/9 I don’t remember the last time I did anything without worry or being angry and sad and I like it, I like being sick and I don’t want to get better. I’m not in school and I don’t have a job, I am a total liability to everyone in my family and I don’t have any friends. My 17 year old cat passed away last month and that was the last straw, he was my only friend. I want to die and stop troubling everyone but my mum would be sad and she doesn’t deserve to be. My med barely work and my doctors don’t help, they listen to what I say but don’t provide any solutions and just say to “be strong and be kind to myself.” I don’t deserve kindness though. They don’t listen when I tell them I am genuinely going insane and I don’t know what to do. I sh. I have blackouts where time just passes and I don’t know what I’ve done, sometimes for only 10 minutes and sometimes for a few days, it’s like I’ve slept through it but apparently I’ve been awake and active. I don’t want to get better, I want to die and I have since I was born, I’m just not meant to be alive.

slient_thinker Not sure what to do
  • replies: 3

Slowly everyday I feel very very alone. I have people in my life but they all seem to have an aura that if I told them it won’t go far or I’ll just be pushed out because I’m too much. I miss having a support system, people who stayed because they car... View more

Slowly everyday I feel very very alone. I have people in my life but they all seem to have an aura that if I told them it won’t go far or I’ll just be pushed out because I’m too much. I miss having a support system, people who stayed because they cared enough to try. I never wanna be a burden on people in my life I try to stay happy for them but what about me why can’t I just feel supported and cared for I just want to drop the mask. My partner seems like he can’t handle these situations so I don’t ever wanna burden him but where does that leave me. Trapped alone with no simple help to talk to. I feel so alone and like life has a never ending tip me off the edge. What even is the point trying to live longer I’ll die in the end so why wait it will just bring more pain and living through these battles over and over. I know I won’t end it I feel bad for everyone else but why should I care for them why can’t I care for myself I just want to have a purpose

I_dont_know_anymore Losing myself again
  • replies: 3

Hi,This is my first post but I just needed to let it out.I'm currently in high school and last year had a lot of issues with self harm and suicidal thoughts. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, and had a hard time going to school and ... View more

Hi,This is my first post but I just needed to let it out.I'm currently in high school and last year had a lot of issues with self harm and suicidal thoughts. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, and had a hard time going to school and would only do half days.Late last year I ended up in hospital for a suicide attempt. The good thing was that I got a lot of support and people to talk to. Things were great for a while, I moved schools and could even do whole days!But lately I've started to fall back where I was. The thoughts are back and the sh addiction has come back. It's not like I want to die anymore but I think about death a lot. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm at an end.Sorry for this I just find it hard to talk to people in real life.-me

TheForest In a state of Ambivalence
  • replies: 3

I am in a bad place…ambivalence has settled into my space. I feel stuck, afraid and unsure of everything around me. Has anyone had experience with this and what did you do to help move you through it?

I am in a bad place…ambivalence has settled into my space. I feel stuck, afraid and unsure of everything around me. Has anyone had experience with this and what did you do to help move you through it?

Racingmind123 Self harm & suicidal thoughts returned
  • replies: 4

Hi lovely people, not too sure where to start, though I have been on here once before due to my narcissistic ex bf who took me down the path of me almost ending my life. I wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t have my dog. After the last disaster in my ... View more

Hi lovely people, not too sure where to start, though I have been on here once before due to my narcissistic ex bf who took me down the path of me almost ending my life. I wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t have my dog. After the last disaster in my life, I was suicidal for a year.... met no guys for almost two years and after a lot of time and self healing, I started to date again. After a lot of duds, I started dating a guy I originally met many years ago... everything was great and we became official and I thought he was going to be one of the ‘nice guys’.... I even said to my mum that I could see myself marrying him... how wrong I was... only as of two nights ago, i walked in on him with another girl... I never in a million years thought he could or would do that to me... it took me so long to finally open up to someone again and my trust has been completely shattered. I noticed some red flags and sadly I was right. For me, it was a tidal wave of emotions that flooded back from all my ex’s and past trauma... sadness, anger, betrayal, embarrassment as I had told my friends how great he was... I’m shattered beyond words... I’m soon to be 36 and I was looking for a husband... time is ticking away fast and the thought of starting over AGAIN for the millionth time is almost unbearable. I am glad I found out now and not further down the track, but it’s shattered me. I self harmed for the first time in a really long time and suicidal thoughts are coming in again thick and fast... I thought I had become strong, but yesterday proved otherwise. I had to call lifeline after a breakdown and I walked myself down to the police station to save me from myself. I don’t want to stay single, but I don’t know if I can go through this ever again. All I’ve ever wanted is someone to love me as much as I do them and I continue to get used and played. I have boundaries and I’ve learnt a lot from my experiences and I speak up sooner when the energy shifts, but I still can’t believe this keeps happening. I just can’t cope with the betrayal and hurt anymore...

KaiyaE How to ask for help
  • replies: 2

I've been doing somewhat ok this year. I finally remembered what it was like to feel somewhat happy. But this week I feel myself going down a spiral, and I can't get myself out of it. I'm getting into the habit of self-harming whenever I'm upset .. a... View more

I've been doing somewhat ok this year. I finally remembered what it was like to feel somewhat happy. But this week I feel myself going down a spiral, and I can't get myself out of it. I'm getting into the habit of self-harming whenever I'm upset .. again. After 8 months of being clean. It's like my brain won't turn off, and I don't know what to do. Whenever I'm upset, suicide is the first thing that comes to mind, and it's never just a thought. It always escalates. I'm honestly scared about what I might do to myself. I just want my brain too turn off.I have a teacher at school that I trust, but I don't know how to bring this up to her. I don't want to put any extra pressure on her, her job is hard enough as it is. I mean... She has to deal with the year 10 boys, that's painful.So I guess, what I'm trying to say is how do I start that conversation? Because I have no clue.