Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Where do I go from here

replies: 1

So after a massive when I was 17 I have lived with severe depression for 37 years and finally diagnosed with C-PTSD in the last 3 years.I’ve been with my partner for 19 years and we have a young son together. 4 weeks ago I got the bombshell that she could no longer cope with me and wanted a separation. This played into all my schemas and that night I ended up sitting by the edge of the sea in the pouring rain with rocks in my pockets, but after a few hours managed to pull myself round but progressively considered an overdose was the best way forward. I ended up being admitted for 3 weeks. Then yesterday on cup day she got dressed up to go to the race with her new friend from work and stayed out overnight. This has pushed me back again and my fears of trust are at the fore. I laid on my bed most of yesterday trying to understand and think about what now. I honestly don’t know the answer but today hate the person I am and that there is no hope and no future.

What does help or support actually look like?

replies: 4

Looking for advice on suicidal thoughts or more what happens once someone decides to get help/support as advised. Support from friends or family if you ask them tend towards them not understanding or asking how they can help, but if you don't know how they can help, what then? Help lines and councilors just seem to be someone to talk to? I'm not knocking this but for me talking to someone doesn't seem to be a solution. What does professional help look like? Is it just psychologist appointments?

Suicidal Friend

replies: 4

Please I need help, a friend online is thinking about committing suicide and almost did one time if it wasn’t for her brother. She’s stable now but I need to know what I can do or say to her to help. I can’t lose her, she has been going through a rough patch right now with some external factors and I’m annoyed I can’t do anything physically to help. We really do care for each other and she didn’t tell me at first so she could avoid hurting me. Is there anything I can say to help her out? Please

Can’t see a way thru this

replies: 3

I’m on dsp for anxiety social phobia , most if not all my adult life been living with my parents secluded in a little house on a block of 5 acres away from people and in nature and with a view.it’s been my life and my identity. Then dad months ago in June said that we have 2 months to find a new place to live so he can invest in shares from the sale and downsize. Within that time we rushed getting rid of a lot of our belongings and had to look at urban houses to live. It was a complete shock and fear I have agoraphobia too. Now it’s the 2nd day in this new place an old rundown 70s house that is so foreign to me so big and ugly and outside is all concrete. Toxic perfume smells on carpet, I hate it so much all my values feel ripped away. I do not feel comfortable here at all and can’t see it long term. Im too grossed out to use tap water here as I’m used to rainwater and the rainwater here is very dirty. This place is a dump and looks like a 70s space ship inside I hate it it’s not homely and I just can’t deal with it.my only way out is either make money to get out of this or not be here or be severely in pain here cause no amount of doing this place up is going to make me happy

Bright teenager self harm

replies: 1

Hi everyone- just trying to get my head around what I have just been told. my wife received a call from the school councillor- that my daughter has been secretly self harming. my wife has spoken about it with her and told me not to say anything to her as my daughter does not want me to know. My daughter is a bright girl and has strong ambitions in her life. She’s is year 9 , we had no idea this was happening and we are totally gutted. it’s been going on for a few months from what I’ve been told My wife is going to arrange a doctors appointment to get a referral to someone that my daughter can talk to. And she has floated the idea of moving her from the school as she said she was bullied by a former friend who is leaving soon . She loves the school . As a dad I now feel like I’ve failed, what can I do?

Unsolvable issues

replies: 1

I'm just about done I think. Married a very long time, happy anniversaries. Children, some with autism which was unheard of years ago. Serious trouble began 20 years ago which I have sought help with (for them - suicide threats) but unresolved and abuse got serious, police involved. Motherlylove has no bounds and my dear wife arranged for worst offender to live with us. That child (over50) has taken over cleverly, I am being ignored unless work is required of menial nature, friends and immediate family have tried to reason with my wife but high stress arguements are the only result. There are two happy people in the house, and one despairing, and not coping, me. I have sought counselling, friends have offered me 'escape' accomodation, but I'm reluctant to make more waves. Many months and serious early morning black dogs I have resigned to trying a few more ways to get my wife to see the 'takeover tactics', and if not . . . . The Movie Hope Gap with a slight twist in the plot and character swaps is close to home. I don't know how this forum works - do I get feed back with any ideas? Thanks for listening

Struggling to get help

replies: 277

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care. Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country. My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment. The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me! Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment. A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions". I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you". The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over. Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

last night

replies: 1

Last night I was having very intense urges. I tried all sorts of things to try and overcome it, meditation, the calm harm app, went for a walk around the block, listened to music, ate chocolate, cold shower, contacted lifeline. Nothing was working. I finally decided to text a friend and we just chatted about work, life, family, music just random stuff. It started to work. Three and a half hours after the urge started, I was over it. And I was not injured in any way. I was so exhausted. It was a particularly bad day yesterday at work and I am sure that added to it but to go from urges that last half hour tops to three and a half hours was just insane. Hope that never happens again

In a mental health crisis with no support

replies: 5

I have severe anxiety and depression. A bit of background-I am 40 female. Had mild agoraphobia and strong social phobia and GAD all my adult life. Was sexually abused age 14 and then moved with my parents to a beautiful secluded 5 acres just out of a seaside town and learnt to adjust to being rural and gardening and chickens ducks even sheep. I found it hard in my late teens and 20s to socialise- i had no help from my parents - dad only drove mum couldnt and dad was always working so if i wanted to go out i walked an hour into town and back. That was most of my 20s. Tho I met a man when i was 24 online, he convinced me to fly interstate to stay with him for a week so i did out of character and he ended up emotionally and sexually abusing me at first sight and it was an ongoing stay for months that i managed to get out of and it took years to get over. I became more of a recluse. Being home on acres with a view all is my world. I feed all the local birds who rely on me including cockatoos. I love being in nature, open wildish spaces with gumtrees and greenery. The fresh air. Been basically a recluse here for 26 years, since i was 14 and now i am 40. My parents i live with, they in thier 70s now. Dad is mildly abusive and my whole adult life ive had to be a bit like a man, a bit like a slave really - non emotional - he can be frightening with him, he will tell me i have to do this and even if i dont want to i have to. Ive only had one job all my life and that was for 4 years i really enjoyed but it went bankrupt and also i met a partner turned friend from their whom has paranoid schizophrenia and hes been in my life for 8 years since and its been very hard on me, even tho i need the company, hes the only one that knows me well and only immediate friend i have. ive been driving since 2010. I drive mum everywhere and its hard to even get independence much in my family. Start of this year my dads new car caught on fire in our long driveway and mum and i had to run with buckets to put it out. After that, Ive had to dedicate my life to driving both my parents with dad’s heavy bowling schedule and mums things - had little room for myself. Even planning my day, id end up with dad interfering with my plans and just give up. I was burnt out and severly depressed and anxious when it got to May. I took a year saving for my car and at that time i couldnt go out because dad in his car would complain about petrol if i did. So I was also angry. Then my dad out of nowhere told me that he is selling this place and he want mum and i to quickly look for a house within the span of 3 months so that the money from the sale can be invested into shares so my sister can get a house. So that caused me severe distress. Being ordered to leave my comfort home on acres what im used to where i am most of the time, to look at urban very small spaces, i couldnt get my head around it. The amount of pressure from my dad making us go to inappropriate hpuse inspections cause in winter there was hardly anything on the market. Everything was distressing for me. No support understanding from my parents just push.

can't win

replies: 6

i've had a pretty awful last 2 months it never ends always one thing after another, it all started at work 2 months ago when i was getting overwhelmed by finances and my job and just life in general, i went to wrok one day when i should of been at home and just wasn't feeling it, smoko came i droved out to get smoko then i get a text saying we got a meeting in 15 minutes, short notice so i was a little late, i sat there upset with everything and then i just walked out and slammed the door and walked downstairs sobbing then went home for the rest of the day. i have a mental illness and i felt like i wasn't supported by this employer enough, i think i was upset not just of my debts i'm paying off but also the fact that work was getting overwhelming and what they expected of me as a first year apprentice and just dropping tools and jumping from breakdown to breakdown all the time and getting told to go quickly and i'm busting my ass off there basically trying to take everything in, me having autism spectrum doesn't help, i got a warning for my walking out but truth be told i never once took my problems out on anyone there. fast foward 3 weeks later and i cut my thumb with a kitchen knife, went to the doctors next morning and was told to take 2 days off work which i provided a medical certificate for. no worries, i come back to work for two more days then it's the weekend. on the saturday, i was working on my car and used a wrench and my hand slipped off it and it hit the body of my car breaking my thumb, went to hospital that night then got surgery the next day, i was in hospital worrying about my finances and my job. so went home next few days and was on antibiotics painkillers, had a meeting with my group training company saying there were performance issues. met with them again the next week and the company i worked for decided to get rid of me saying i got sacked because of what i metioned here, i'm still trying to chase payments from them from trade school as well. i'm still with the group training place, but to get sacked like that when i gave it my all at work and saying i'm not good enough without being given the opportunity to develop my skills was a dagger in the heart, i'm still depressed and upset over it, i mean why do i go thru this badluck with apprenticeships, all i want to do is go to work and learn my job, that's the 2nd employer in the space of 12 months, i feel like when something happens i can't control there's big consequences

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 96

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Where do I go from here replies: 1

What does help or support actually look like? replies: 4

Suicidal Friend replies: 4

Can’t see a way thru this replies: 3

Bright teenager self harm replies: 1

Unsolvable issues replies: 1

Struggling to get help replies: 277

last night replies: 1

In a mental health crisis with no support replies: 5

can't win replies: 6