Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Reaching the inevitable end

replies: 3

I am safe and currently not at risk. I'm 38, married and have a 2 year old son. Since I was 12 I've had depression. There's been periods it's been severe and overwhelming and there's been others where it's in the background. But at all times it's been there. It seems recently it's taken full control of my thoughts and actions. The last few weeks I've been on autopilot just to get through the days. It's starting the effect my job and family and people are starting to notice. I'm finding it difficult to engage in social events without becoming noticeably melancholy and detached. Last night I came to closest I've been in over 10 years. I got right up to the line but backed out. I didn't feel anything during the preparation. At the last second I felt fear and shame, that stopped me. Afterwards I felt a mild sense of euphoria and dissociation. I don't know how I'm going to move forward without my depression negatively effecting (or ruining) my work and social life. I'm worried if it keeps going like this I'll step over the line and ruin my family. I don't have active thoughts of self harm nor do I have a plan. But I am having a dark episode.

Overwhelmed and drowning

replies: 2

I am overwhelmed and drowning I have tried reaching out but I can’t even pay people to help me and my “friends” who are actually acquaintances just berate me. Let me be clear; I am NOT suicidal BUT I wish I was, I am exhausted and I am DONE! Life keeps on kicking me (don’t tell me other people are worse off because I don’t care) I’m tired of having to restart- I followed ALL THE RULES! Why am I being punished for being wrong? Being born wasn’t my fault I KNOW I’m not supposed to be here

It here again

replies: 70

My depression is severe todayAdded to this is the loss of my girlfriendShe was my sole purpose in my lifeNow im back to suicide researchas I really dont want to live anymoreI have nothing to look forward to in this life and I feel too old to start over again.Death would be a welcome giftI know there is no purpose in suffering all the time and its madness to do soLast time I tried to end it I got so close to doing itI always felt it was upsetting I didnt succeed and today I regret trying to get better because there is no getting better.If people could understand what its like living like this then maybe they would understand me better.I try to be grateful for the last 8 years I had with girlfriend and the purpose it gave me but it doesnt stop the added grief ontop of my depression.The cavalry are not coming to save me and thats whats changed for me.I cant keep living for the sake of others wanting me to live.

Tired of fighting this battle.

replies: 192

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other forums but im feeling very desperate lately. Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out. Im lonely and going broke. I was desperate and called triple o last week only to be left to my own devices again. I may be going into a facility called parc a non acute inpatient service but that thought scares me. I dont know how much more i can endure. I hope every one is well and thank you for reading Brett

i want to live my god damn life

replies: 2

hello everyone and my name is Jorja and i suffer from really bad bullying and it been like that seen day one of year1 it hadn't stop not even when i report it. it never stop and i allows ignore it but high school make it harder.

Parents ignoring issues

replies: 3

Hi all.I'm a teenage girl with a sister not very far apart in age from me. Between the last 2/3 years I've really been struggling with my mental health. I saw a therapist for a while who immediately told my parents that I had depression after our first few sessions. I know this because she told me and asked what I'd like to do in terms of the future with this. She offered anti-depressants and I told her that if these would help, I'd like to go on them, however, my parents strongly opposed and refused to talk to me about it. All I know is that my Mum doesn't believe in medication and my Dad completely doesn't really believe in mental health. He definitely has his own issues which he refuses to see a therapist for. However, around halfway through last year my sister began struggling with her mental health. I could see all the signs which I saw happening to myself and I really tried to help her. She was irritable all the time and cared a lot less about life. I found sh tools in her room which I threw out without telling her I found. (I was also and still do sh) When my parents found out about her struggling with her mental health, they promptly took her to a therapist who gave her medication. After this I was finding myself really irritated by this situation because when I was going through the same thing, they didn't intervene and I suffered in silence. I was better for a few months where I was clean from sh. Then my sister started struggling and it reminded me how my mental health was neglected. Then I fell back into the pit with no guidance. I can tell that my Dad at least favors my sister over me because she's always been sportier and more aligned to his interests. Whenever I talk to my Dad, it always turns into a lecture of some sort. We went on a holiday for a month and my mental health took a steep decline. I was constantly arguing with my family for things my sister would do which I'd get blamed for. There was point where I was really struggling and critiqued constantly by my family for being lazy. I'm just so angry about this situation. I feel so neglected and as though my family doesn't care about me or love me as much as my sister. Does anyone have any guidance?

Please help

replies: 1

My friends say I'm depressed and I try to deny it, but I'm starting to think they're right, because I think down on myself and have thought about ending it before. They said I should get help, but I don't want my parents to know about this, can someb... View more

I can't help it but feel helpless.

replies: 1

During my time in highschool, I've always thought everything would go well. But of course it won't always go well. This year, I've been attending my classes and tried my hardest to study. Until, lightning just kept striking me every single day. My class isn't exactly the brightest... I've been experiencing situations which causes me to have low self-esteem, depression, lack of self-confidence, and refusing to do specific activities. That's what helplessness feels like, and it's caused by my classmates. Yes, of course I have reached for support to change classes. I've talked to 2 Dean Of Students/Assistant, emailed the principal, talked to my friends to support me, and my TG (tutor group/homeroom) teachers. However, none of them could help.. or were prioritising someone else. I've been crying more than usual at home and school and not wanting to go to my friends due to the fact I didn't want to seem attention-seeking. I thought of coping methods such as self-harm. Though, how is it even gonna solve my problems... No one's there to help anymore and I can only rely on nothing but share my thoughts here. I lack so much motivation for learning due to my classmates being real jerks. My ears would burst just listening to EVERY ONE OF THEIR VOICES because of how disruptive they are. Not to mention they manipulate the teachers and try to "get along" and "bond" with the teachers to get their soft side. Honestly, I can't even learn at this school anymore. My school doesn't permit racism, yet it does at the same time!? I hate this, why do I meet harder paths unintentionally? Nothing's fair.. nothing's justified... nothing can help me fix all these problems. No one helps me. I don't think anyone I know is willing to... why am I living this unjustified life? I've failed to get a grip, failed to become better... That was my goal too... I've even failed my goal, failed to learn easier, failed to stand up for myself, failed to get help...

Does anyone else wish they were dead but it isn't an option ?

replies: 4

For lots of reasons I don't want to be alive. I basically feel like the abortion that should have happened. The problem for me is that I have 2 adult children and 3furbabies that mean killing myself is not an option. I was a teenage mother who spent my 20s and some of my 30s counting down the days until my youngest turned 20 and I could end my life. I would research and consider different ways. Anyway, when I was in my late 30s I met someone whose Mum committed suicide when they were 30 and it completely destroyed them. It was in that moment I realised, I was stuck having to live. This means that everyone sighs in relief because of my protective factors in safety planning- but it does nothing to resolve this pain and stickiness I feel because I want to end my life but can't because of the love I have for my children. The need to torture myself through life then ruin the chances for my kids. I would love to know if anyone has ever felt like this? I would just love to not feel so alone whilst I persevere in having to wake up every morning, and create some hope for life being worth living.

Where to from here?

replies: 7

I grew up with the end goal of never living past 27, and now I am almost 31 and that scares me. I never made plans, never anticipated living this long. I moved from one country to another in hopes I could find a drive, make a plan, find a life, but it’s been a lonely existence here. Making friends - genuine friends - is hard in another country. My sense of humour is dark, my many different jobs have also been dark, and I find myself more alone than I’ve ever been. I find it hard to connect with people when the things I have seen makes me not want to waste time on superficial conversation. I just wish I could make a deep and meaningful connection. I wish I could just put the rose-tinted glasses back on and pretend that my life isn’t mundane, or for nothing. I wake up, I go to work where I sit on my own for eight hours a day, I go home and sleep - repeat. I try to get past my fear of people by going to local events, but frankly I’m so scared. People leave, and I stay where I am. I feel I am just existing. I have nothing to show for my life. No career goals, debt, friends that are in another country with their own lives to lead, people who left when they garnered something better. I am alone, utterly alone. I wasn’t meant to live this long, the constant reminder on my brain as I get closer and closer to my birthday, another year wasted. What do I do here? I am in a foreign country and I can’t keep doing this. I need help, direction - something, anything. Please.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Reaching the inevitable end replies: 3

Overwhelmed and drowning replies: 2

It here again replies: 70

Tired of fighting this battle. replies: 192

i want to live my god damn life replies: 2

Parents ignoring issues replies: 3

Please help replies: 1

I can't help it but feel helpless. replies: 1

Does anyone else wish they were dead but it isn't an option ? replies: 4

Where to from here? replies: 7