Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

_foxxed Mental health condition vs abuse?
  • replies: 1

Trigger warning** Wasn't really expecting much. Just so unsure about whats real and what isnt. I am 40 and have been diagnosed with adhd early 30's and bpd a few years ago after my son was born. Now its looking more like cptsd and autism is going to ... View more

Trigger warning** Wasn't really expecting much. Just so unsure about whats real and what isnt. I am 40 and have been diagnosed with adhd early 30's and bpd a few years ago after my son was born. Now its looking more like cptsd and autism is going to be a diagnosis. I dont have a psychiatrist atm as bpd scares them all off, I I have my first appointment with a new one soon with the same place I see my psychologist weekly. Where I struggle is. Ever since my son was born, my wife and her family put me down about anything I did. It took 6 months before I reached out for help thinking I was going insane. And then the cmht told the police I hated my son and I got an avo taken out against me. It was later dropped in court. But ever since then. My family, her family have done everything humanely possible to make me look like I am a problem and its my mental health etc. I have done dbt & cbt. I have a psychiatric assistance dog. I was taking my meds as prescribed. And yeah I did self harm and hurt myself intentionally alot. I have been in icu once and er multiple times. A psych ward doesn't help me and do get extremely distressed in there. I got told that sui is manipulative adter I woke up on life support by a cmht manager cause I complained about their actions forced me to take that action on myself. I got read the story of the boy who cries wolf from cmht. Told if I didnt drink monster that I wouldnt experience what i called abuse. My mum made herself my next of kin, they proceeded to tell her I wasnt trying. Thing is. I done my best. I havent seen my son since jan. I dont get to say anything or see him. I am scared of her, so I shut up. My parents finance everything for her. I feel worthless. He is 4, I have gone at least twice not seeing him for 6+ months cause I am scared she will do anything to ensure I kill myself. I look back and check the facts and I really never did anything wrong, I tried to be a good dad and make good decisions. I was just told I was wrong and would get isolated for saying anything. It continues now. I get labelled as crazy and they get to keep up this silent treatment. Ignore anything I say. And according to the law they are doing everything ok. I found myself once again on the sanctioned site learning where I went wrong all these past attempts. I dont wanna fk it up, I dont wanna die. But saying I have to live for my son I don't see. whilst being gaslit by everyone and watching them get validated for hurting me. I dont know where to turn

eliz_a2998 It’s hopeless
  • replies: 3

I am 17 years old doing my VCE online. I have posted once before about the pressures of VCE and my anxiety. In April, due to the stress of VCE at my main stream school and a medication that made me worse I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder... View more

I am 17 years old doing my VCE online. I have posted once before about the pressures of VCE and my anxiety. In April, due to the stress of VCE at my main stream school and a medication that made me worse I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety which led to an attempt and an admission. That was a few months ago since then it was has gotten a little better.. But now, I can’t do this anymore. I thought I was just getting better I was going on walks, eating, and even going out with friends. Everything was so great. I had this important event for my friend and I found out people from my old school were going to be there I was so excited and the day off I just felt ugly and so ashamed of the person I have become. I didn’t go and I shut everyone out I deleted all my social media I ghosted everyone who reached out. I don’t know what happened I am so embarrassed. Now I’m sleeping constantly staying in bed I have no appetite I don’t shower or go out. I was just getting better I don’t understand why this has happened I can’t do this anymore. Everything feels hopeless now. I had so much hope I really thought it was getting better. It feels like it won’t ever get better.

imsohungry thoughts
  • replies: 2

im 14 and ive been dealing with a lot of suicidal thoughts. i didnt grow up with great parents and even the people who are taking care of my right now arent that helpful i get bullied at school for and sometimes i jsut wanna end it all i once attempt... View more

im 14 and ive been dealing with a lot of suicidal thoughts. i didnt grow up with great parents and even the people who are taking care of my right now arent that helpful i get bullied at school for and sometimes i jsut wanna end it all i once attempted suicide my mother put me up on social media as a missing person and my whole school saw and i had like 8 meltdowns but no one cared and everyone made fun of me. it got so bad that i ended up in hospital 2x and even after that the bullying got worse and atp i dont even know what to do bc right now my whole life is messed up and im so tired and absolutely no one understands me and sometimes i self harm to relieve my stress but absolutely nothing helps at all the things is i escaped one thing which was trauma from my parents bc they abused me but now i have more problems to deal with idk how to cope with it .

Beaser Tired of fighting this battle.
  • replies: 203

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other forums but im feeling very desperate lately. Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out. Im lonely and go... View more

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other forums but im feeling very desperate lately. Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out. Im lonely and going broke. I was desperate and called triple o last week only to be left to my own devices again. I may be going into a facility called parc a non acute inpatient service but that thought scares me. I dont know how much more i can endure. I hope every one is well and thank you for reading Brett

eliz_a2998 VCE future
  • replies: 10

I have no hope for my future, last year I was doing so well in school. When I got to VCE the pressure got into my head so bad I got diagnosed with severe anxiety which led to a bad reaction to medication suicidal ideation and an admission. I have no ... View more

I have no hope for my future, last year I was doing so well in school. When I got to VCE the pressure got into my head so bad I got diagnosed with severe anxiety which led to a bad reaction to medication suicidal ideation and an admission. I have no hope anymore I can’t even brush my hair or teeth I sleep all day. It’s like I’m already not even alive I’ve ruined my life I had everything last year friends, school, and I was playing my favourite sport. It’s all gone I ruined it all everything, I was supposed to be the smart one the one in my family who actually graduates I’ve let everyone down. What’s the point of even being alive anymore I don’t even feel real.

51LV3R A follow up
  • replies: 2

Nearly a year ago I posted to this forum because I was having trouble with self harm. I followed the advice of some kind commenters though I was too nervous to speak to them individually or reply. I am grateful to all three of them. I sought out conf... View more

Nearly a year ago I posted to this forum because I was having trouble with self harm. I followed the advice of some kind commenters though I was too nervous to speak to them individually or reply. I am grateful to all three of them. I sought out confidential counselling but I found it didn't do much for me. I might just have found the wrong person to speak to but she couldn't tell me or teach me anything I didn't already know and was very persistent that I involve my mother. Eventually I did. Unfortunately it went exactly how I feared it would, she banned me from going to further counselling or speaking to my doctor about mental health issues and accompanies me everywhere except for school, where I am writing this from. I feel worse than ever. I can't talk to anyone and I'm scared. What do I do? Every day becomes harder to wake up. When I walk to school (she works mornings) I pass many roads and I keep wanting to hurt myself. My mother is going to start me doing driving lessons soon (she won't teach me) and I'm scared what I'll do when I have control of a vehicle. I do not want to hurt myself anymore.

Rira It's getting too hard
  • replies: 2

School has been very hard lately and it feels like I can't do anything right. My friends have all abandoned me so I'm o my own. I live in a brand new town so I barely know the school. I stick my head into my online friends and they help me pull throu... View more

School has been very hard lately and it feels like I can't do anything right. My friends have all abandoned me so I'm o my own. I live in a brand new town so I barely know the school. I stick my head into my online friends and they help me pull through but I don't know how much longer I can take. The only reason I'm living is because in a few weeks I'm getting new pets and my online friends. It's all I have left. But I've started having the scary thoughts of killing myself and harming. I am just so lost..

aerobicpledge16 Advice
  • replies: 3

I am safe, and I have no plan or intent to die.I am selectively mute, autistic, obsessive-compulsive, and I’ve had suicidal thoughts for the past ~3 months.Burnout has ruined my life. I used to be so bright, and I don’t know where I went wrong. Nothi... View more

I am safe, and I have no plan or intent to die.I am selectively mute, autistic, obsessive-compulsive, and I’ve had suicidal thoughts for the past ~3 months.Burnout has ruined my life. I used to be so bright, and I don’t know where I went wrong. Nothing brings me joy anymore. I’m going to a concert of one of my favourite artists tonight, and I’m not even a little excited about it. Everything has simply gotten too difficult for me to hard for me to manage, and I absolutely disgust myself with how little I actually do in a day. My mum thinks I’m lazy, “wasting my life”, and I need to “put in effort” to “change my symptoms”. We have been clashing way too much recently.It’s getting to a point where I think she would have been better off if she never had me.I don’t think she was prepared for what a load having a neurodivergent and mentally ill child would be as a neurotypical parent, and I don’t think we’re able to meet each other's social, emotional, and mental needs.Outside of that, I don’t see myself having a place in the world. I can only imagine myself either homeless, lonely and unsatisfied, or dead.No remedies have been able to fix me. I started taking antidepressants again, and no improvement. I started going to therapy again, doing all of these exercises, and I feel like my emotional regulation has actually declined.I can’t feel anything without an underlying urge to harm myself. I’ve tried sleeping earlier, working out more, eating healthier, nothing has relieved the amount of stress I feel on a daily basis. My mind is unbearably overactive.I hate these thoughts, and I really do want to change. They bring me extreme shame, but I have yet to find anything that could help me overcome them, and i’ve lost so much hope.If there is anyone who has been in a similar spot, what kept you going? What makes life worth it for you? Did it ever get better?Anyone with any knowledge on these topics, what else can I do to help myself?Thank you so much for reading.

Guest_41029127 a way to describe this…feeling?
  • replies: 2

As the title suggests, I’m looking for a way to describe my current … state? or hoping someone else has a similar experience. FYI I am currently in year 12, and yes I am safe Since I was in about year 5 or 6, I think I hated living. Not necessarily s... View more

As the title suggests, I’m looking for a way to describe my current … state? or hoping someone else has a similar experience. FYI I am currently in year 12, and yes I am safe Since I was in about year 5 or 6, I think I hated living. Not necessarily suicidal ideation (though there were many instances of it), but I was very pessimistic about life and thought everything sucked, so even if I felt happiness (emotion) I don’t think I was truly happy with life. But around the start of this year, I stumbled upon things that had really resonated with me, and something had shifted within me. For the first time I felt like I really wanted to live, and that life was beautiful. Even when I experienced setbacks, I still had the strong feeling of wanting to live, and that I was capable of things even though I was struggling. Essentially, even though I had times where I didn’t feel happiness (the emotion), I felt like my state of being was happy (?) And I was still the same pessimistic person, but I felt like some kind of miasma (as strange as that sounds) was lifted from me. That was basically how I felt for a good many months, until maybe a month or some time ago I ended up discussing with a teacher about mental health support, and I won’t go into details, but mid conversation I was struck with an immense wave of depression/hopelessness/disillusionment that no one would ever help me and that I would never deserve help… and essentially ever since then it feels like that “state” of happiness has disappeared and I returned to my longstanding state of…some kind of hopelessness. It feels like I’m back to square one. Though I also think I’m a bit more resilient to suicidal ideation so maybe square one point five. So I want to know if theres a way to encapsulate what this experience is. Or if anyone has experienced a similar thing before?

bluesunday self harm urges
  • replies: 3

i’m 12 & recently i’ve been getting urges to self harm. it happens almost every other day & i can’t stop thinking about it. ive held it once but never got the guts to fully attempt it. i dont know what to do ,, the urges are getting stronger & im bec... View more

i’m 12 & recently i’ve been getting urges to self harm. it happens almost every other day & i can’t stop thinking about it. ive held it once but never got the guts to fully attempt it. i dont know what to do ,, the urges are getting stronger & im becoming weaker i need advice to stop