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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

BKL Chronic suicidal thoughts, does it get better?
  • replies: 17

Hi all, I am new here. After suffering several childhood trauma, I have developed complex PTSD, recurring depressions and chronic suicidal thoughts.I have been living with chronic suicidal thoughts for the past 30 years. Almost every day the thoughts... View more

Hi all, I am new here. After suffering several childhood trauma, I have developed complex PTSD, recurring depressions and chronic suicidal thoughts.I have been living with chronic suicidal thoughts for the past 30 years. Almost every day the thoughts are on my mind; background thoughts if it is a good day, forefront of my mind on a bad day.I am seeing a psychologist and I am on antidepressants but the thoughts are still there. My psychologist reckons they will never go away.Can I imagine to one day live a "normal life" ( i.e., not feeling worthless and hopeless all the time) even with chronic suicidal thoughts?

Atomic_Wolf_Boy I can't face anymore injustice. I'm a tragedy.
  • replies: 6

1) I am 29 with no active payed work history. I've never wanted to be a apprentice, do a traineeship or anything in construction or the trades. I would struggle with Year 12 VCE and I couldn't be suited for University. I never wanted to work the typi... View more

1) I am 29 with no active payed work history. I've never wanted to be a apprentice, do a traineeship or anything in construction or the trades. I would struggle with Year 12 VCE and I couldn't be suited for University. I never wanted to work the typical industries like hospitality, sales, factory and retail. I've never known anything beyond the limited scope of conventional work and nothing of that seems suitable and desirable for me. 2) I never had a close relationship with my father. I've hated him ever since I was little, It started with him trying to make me follow his AFL football team, or he would be overbearing and verbal to my mother. He only understands himself, His selfish, arrogant, un caring, ignorant about many things. He can be devious and talk behind your back if he wants to, because if things are kept secret he won't have a guilty conscious. He prevents me from having valid feelings and problems and sais I'm on holidays because I'm un employed. He wants a house of peace and doesn't let me talk to my mother if his bothered about the volume of his T.V. His told my mother that I shouldn't be driving and that I don't want to work. All during high school my father was complaining to him about school feels and that I was taking days off and his friend was saying to pull me out of the only ideal private high school I could go to. I was bullied all during high school verbally and even physically degraded. I hated everyone in that school everyday for six years. Generally any issue that isn't his own problem, He just said why are you telling me for, or what does it have to do with me.

alasdayr Intellectual existence
  • replies: 47

I have been living the treadmill for a while now. I have a nice house, a stable job, a faithful wife that cares about me and our family and an adult daughter. Following a bout of major depression, I have anhedonia (avolition, but no anergia). I have ... View more

I have been living the treadmill for a while now. I have a nice house, a stable job, a faithful wife that cares about me and our family and an adult daughter. Following a bout of major depression, I have anhedonia (avolition, but no anergia). I have energy to get things done that I see need doing. Nothing makes me feel good more than momentarily. Most pleasurable activities make me crave discomfort (or worse). My mood is generally flat and I do not feel much in the way of emotion (happy, sad, angry, jealous, etc..). I have nothing I want to achieve. I have nothing that I want to do. I have nowhere I want to go. I have no people I want to meet. Helping others does not make me feel good. Achieving things seems hollow. I have no fear of dying. I have no fear of pain (also a very high pain tolerance). About most things I truly do not care. I have an entire alphabet of mental health conditions diagnosis (ASD, CPTSD, OCD, BPD, MDD, PDD). I have had another alphabet worth of treatment (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, Schema, TMS). Some are still ongoing. I have an upbringing of care for family and self sacrifice. I take care of myself so I can do things for family so they remain comfortable. Its all done by rote. I have been taught/trained over my treatments not to self harm. I often think about it... These thoughts do not worry or disturb me. I keep busy so I don't dwell on them. My family wants and needs me. I have been in constant mental health care over the past 4 years. I have been in hospital numerous times. I have been on (and am now off) antidepressants. I regularly see psychologists and a psychiatrist. I will ask my psychiatrist for another round of TMS next time we meet. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have more than a lot of people. I am in good physical health. I seem to avoid misfortune. I don't feel worthy of my good fortune. Is this as good as it gets?

ebee addicted to suicidal thoughts?
  • replies: 2

I’m not sure how to word this, but I feel like I’m ‘addicted’ to having suicidal thoughts? Now, to preface this, I’m very satisfied with my life and acknowledge that I’m very privileged. I’m also not actually suicidal; it would realistically hurt too... View more

I’m not sure how to word this, but I feel like I’m ‘addicted’ to having suicidal thoughts? Now, to preface this, I’m very satisfied with my life and acknowledge that I’m very privileged. I’m also not actually suicidal; it would realistically hurt too much and I don’t want to traumatise my family. Since I was about 12 or 13 though I always thought about how much better it would be if I could die, and now it’s just constant to a point where I don’t stop thinking about killing myself unless I’m absorbed or distracted by doing something. Again, I don’t really want to die, but I can’t stop wishing I don’t have to wake up the next day. Being unconscious is probably the most peace I feel. It feels like as the days pass on, my doom is nearing, as dramatic as that sounds. The only reason I’ve been able to make it thus far is because I’m so privileged and because I’ve been blessed to have people who I can depend on and who still put up with me. But I know that I can’t depend on others forever, and of course I’m trying to be independent, but god am I so incompetent at everything I do and I don’t have a good personality either. I’m not kind, charismatic or optimistic; I’m terribly selfish, introverted and pessimistic, and I can’t even do ‘basic’ things other people can do like… hold a conversation. I don’t really go outside unless it’s necessary (eg grocery shopping, school) because I get really anxious about having attention on me, and it’s so sad because I want to spend time with my friends, but it’s a massive hurdle to overcome every time and never gets easier than the last. I have a similar-ish problem with my self harm too, where it’s just there. I’ve started it a while ago too, but nowadays, I don’t really do it because I’m super hurt or sad or anything (that would be a bit too often) but it’s just there and I’ll just do it if I feel like it. Of course I never hurt myself too much, so maybe that’s why, but it comes as easily as writing or drawing, and I can never bring myself to care that much about it like everyone else does. (Not that I am trying to justify it; I would be very concerned if anyone I knew, or anyone at all, was self-harming, no matter the degree. And it does make me really sad to accidentally see it online, even when I try to avoid it) So, I really don’t want to come off as insensitive, but I can’t stop wishing that I won’t have to wake up the next day.

Beaser Tired of fighting this battle.
  • replies: 67

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other forums but im feeling very desperate lately. Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out. Im lonely and go... View more

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other forums but im feeling very desperate lately. Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out. Im lonely and going broke. I was desperate and called triple o last week only to be left to my own devices again. I may be going into a facility called parc a non acute inpatient service but that thought scares me. I dont know how much more i can endure. I hope every one is well and thank you for reading Brett

Oldperson Living in my car
  • replies: 1

The owner of the house that I was renting for the last 4years, passed away they gave me 30 days to move out, I have done everything possible, I have put my name everywhere, nothing is available for a 69year old man, the only thing is to place me with... View more

The owner of the house that I was renting for the last 4years, passed away they gave me 30 days to move out, I have done everything possible, I have put my name everywhere, nothing is available for a 69year old man, the only thing is to place me with mentally unhealthy and like, people, I am now living in my car, like so many others, the alternatives are worst. So sad, depressed, covered in mosquito bites, can't take much more I get a ton of advice from everyone but no real help from anyone

MatthewAdl I lost my purpose
  • replies: 3

i have no purpose anymore. they ignored me and abandoned me without even saying goodbye. why spend valentines with me if you're going to abandon me for someone else. we used to be together but they had to break up because of how busy and stressful th... View more

i have no purpose anymore. they ignored me and abandoned me without even saying goodbye. why spend valentines with me if you're going to abandon me for someone else. we used to be together but they had to break up because of how busy and stressful their life became - moving to Adelaide, living alone responsibilities, uni, work, working out, etc. they told me they weren't ready for dating. it was understandable. i waited so long for them. they still had feelings for me, it was obvious. they just weren't ready. i just wanted them to be happy. i just wanted them to be satisfied in life. i wanted to be there for them everyday to support and comfort them. i wanted to help them with anything and everything. i was prepared to invest so much time, love, and effort for them. so much for not being ready for dating. they lied to me. all the things they've told me, were they all lies? they even said they missed my cuddles, and used some of my cologne i gave them as a valentines gift. they said this just prior to abandoning me. i trusted you. but i guess i shouldn't have. you wasted my life. i can never get back the time you took from me. my heart is irreversibly damaged. i have no purpose anymore. therapy is too expensive - 280/hr is bs. i feel like i have no point anymore. i didn't even wash my face this morning. i dont know how much longer ill still be alive. i dont want to die. everything i worked for was for nothing. im sorry. im sorry i wasn't good enough. you deserved better than me anyway.

GreenEgg So tired of this
  • replies: 3

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I don’t know how I’m meant to celebrate being here, but of course I can’t tell people that or they’ll worry.I feel exhausted, like I’ve got so long left before I can. And in the meantime I have to preten... View more

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I don’t know how I’m meant to celebrate being here, but of course I can’t tell people that or they’ll worry.I feel exhausted, like I’ve got so long left before I can. And in the meantime I have to pretend to be a person when I can’t see any future and I can’t really remember a time that I have. Work and health has been bad lately and I’m thinking about it more. I haven’t been having impulses yet, but where I’m at right now seems so familiar. Like I’m just on the edge of a bit of a meltdown.I feel bad that I periodically post here. I don’t really know what I want from if, and I wish I could help others more. I often just don’t know what to say, or what I need. I think just writing helps a bit because I don’t talk about this to anyone in real life. So, sorry if you’re reading. And thanks.

Guest_82164890 Completely Lost
  • replies: 1

It's been an epic life. Just not in the way one would have hoped. Lots of childhood trauma due to neglect & abuse in all it's forms. In a forever cycle of people pleasing in order to feel safe as a resalt but at what cost?? I thought l had finally wo... View more

It's been an epic life. Just not in the way one would have hoped. Lots of childhood trauma due to neglect & abuse in all it's forms. In a forever cycle of people pleasing in order to feel safe as a resalt but at what cost?? I thought l had finally worked it out and done well to get where l am despite it all and decided that l deserved all the things l wanted for myself that l was always made to feel l didn't. But here l am years later with what seems like everything l wanted and life but the isolation of covid took a toll on my mental health and now l can't hold a job longer than 6 months at a time l, my moods are all over the place lm sad and angry all the time my partner and baby girl need me to have my shit together but lm ready to just die. I know it's not right but the guilt of feeling like a failure to them is too much and l can't afford the phsyc bills needed to help me to get out of this fear driven cycle I'm in.