Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 92

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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The constant struggle.

replies: 280

Why do I wake with thoughts of wanting to die...the struggle of the previous day hasn't stopped and it has already started from the moment my eyes open and will last til I close them again and then continue to go on until sleep takes me or I give in. I have found nothing really seems to give me relief from these thoughts. So what is so bad about my life you may ask. What is so wrong or bad my existence that is the only thing ever in my head. Well nothing really, so I don't know why I want to die. I just do. I just need every to stop. I want the only permanent solution to my life. I'm tired of dealing with this all the time. I'm tired of fighting that person in my head that tells me to do it. I'm just tired.

Scared to tell my GP about self-harm

replies: 3

Hello,I’m currently going through the family law system. My son’s father has been out of his life for many years now but his paternal grandmother has taken me to court. This is my second time going back as I am seeking to have the orders changed due to the abuse I have suffered from that family. I had my son when I was very young and he is almost an adolescent now. I feel I cannot escape the abuse I suffered from his paternal family and am being re-triggered by past trauma and do not feel free to live my life how I choose. It feels like being in an emotional prison where I cannot escape the cycle of abuse. I have been a great mother to him and there’s never been any question about my ability to raise, love and care for him. Even though his father is not involved, I am still being bullied, spoken down to, lied about and slandered by the paternal grandmother and the court is telling me I have to continue to send my son there even though I am concerned he is being exposed to the same abuse I was as a child in that home due to what he has told me. It is extremely psychologically damaging to feel as though you can’t protect your child and your rights as a mother are being stripped from you. I am so exhausted and my mental health is at an all time low. I’m missing work, I can’t complete my studies, my relationship with my partner is strained. I’m so anxious I feel like I can barely leave the house and I am starting to feel without hope. I don’t know how to talk to my doctor about self-harm and the thoughts of suicide. I don’t want to die but I feel like I cannot escape and I am at the end of my rope. I’m scared it will hurt my family law matter to be honest about my mental state and I’m scared they will force me to go to hospital and my ability to parent will be in question. I cannot afford a psychologist and I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be very welcomed. Thank you.

I'm lost in this life, it's beyond understanding.

replies: 3

I am new here and just wanted to say hello...please help. I looked into ordinary chat rooms, but find the most sensible conversation comes from troubled folks who contemplate more than the superficial and the nonsensical. My life has reached a cross-road and I don't know where to turn. I have truly tried everything and have come to accept there is no answer for me. I live completely isolated, not by choice but because of life-long experiences, necessity and circumstances. I have no family–I think we are all an irreconcilable embarrassment to each other–or friends, who were ever only users and abusers. Relationships only last a short time, and I can't keep trying. There's no point. I don't fit in, have never fitted in, and my family of birth has the same affliction; but while they have dropped their standards in order to try to fit in with everyone but never achieving it, they have lost their self-respect and their true selves. I am trying to maintain my true self to represent my family. I think of it as my responsibility and I wouldn't be happy doing otherwise. I would love to work through this with a skilled psychiatrist, but I had one and he betrayed me in a way that remains life-threatening. I tried two others since, twice each, and they thought my situation humourous. I have no trust in therapists. Trust is earned and I see no reason for it when I see what is being termed 'treatment'. I am a dead woman walking and fight the urge to end my misery in recurring waves, daily. It is hell. That is what my detractors want.I am doing an online course that gives me a great deal of fulfillment, but socially, I have never found my 'fit'. I never will and I just don't know what to do. No-one can fix this for me. I have to find my own way, but there is none and I just don't know what to do.

Fighting for my dear life

replies: 11

Every waking day is a constant fight with my inner demons... I feel that slowly I'm losing grasp of what reality truly means... The thoughts are like voices in my head telling me and even showing what and how to do it... With each thought comes the urges... They're like a sensation I couldn't explain... The darkness it gives me is undeniable... When will this all end? It's telling me if I want it to end I have to give in and let go... . I have to put an end to all this... Nothing's working so why even bother... I'm exhausted from fighting ..

I hate this time of year & everything about my life

replies: 161

I'm suffering from chronic pain issues; auto immune related issues and a body that is basically falling apart. I have no family around except for a brother (and sister in law,and niece), who would rather spend time with their friends - even though I pushed myself to be there for their daughters birthday. My teeth are rotting because of pain meds and I have no way of paying for them to be fixed.. some are now are in my smile line and the idea of loosing teeth there destroys me. My extended family wanted me to join them on Christmas day except for the fact it would be just breakfast as they want to visit their significant others family (not to mention it's a 4 hour round trip for me on public transport on a public holiday), and I can barely function as I'm suffering from tinnitus and vertigo at the moment on top of my usual health issues. I'm struggling to get through to the rest of the year. I've been reaching out via text message to my closest friend - but he's been avoiding me. My other friend just doesn't believe how bad my mental state is; despite having her own issues with depression and suicide. Every year is another year where nothing is achieved and my "bucket list" is further away from ever happening. Even on the rare occasions I'm out socializing; people avoid me. I seem to just repel people. Having had years and years of people leaving me, it's not like I haven't tried - organizing parties at my place; inviting friends out for a girls night out etc... no one ever bothers returning the favor. No one checks up on me. My online friends only respond to me messaging them - and even that's not a guarantee of a reply. I'm tired of struggling with no support. I'm not living, I'm barely surviving. .. it's like I'm not even here. And I'm sure it wouldn't matter if I wasn't because people in my life just don't seem to care! And it's not like I have anything keeping me here - no partner, no kids, no pets. . Nothing at all.

New school and mental health 😫

replies: 2

I moved three months ago to a new school. Just a Lill back story a year ago I wasnt going to school till late next month I hadnt been to school for a year or so cause of bullying and my mental health was detiriating rapidly. I was homeless for a while in a mobile home then when the address got put on file police dcj and everyone started turning up every day multiple times a day . I started to get really upset cause I didn't want to go to another school and they kept pushing and my mental health started getting worse again . They didn't know that I was suicidal cause of it but I started having bad panic attacks every time they came. Fast Forward to October 4th I woke up and before annyone turned up I decided to try and end my life dad took me to the hospital and he warned them the whole time I wasn't doing well but nobody listened till I ended up in hospital. About two weeks after they managed to get me to go to school and what I was under the knowledge that I'd be going part time silly me they made me go everyday burnt me out so I started wagging school. Fast forward to this year I was going to the school not Verry often then got lectured about my attendance and I broke down Infront of the welfare teacher she didn't care cause she just sent me back to class . Now I'm at another school and they are starting to ask questions as to why I'm still wearing jumpers and trackies and I just say I'm comfy in them but it's getting hotter and I'm not doing well cause I'm now waging at my new school and I've been told if I don't stop I'll be on a suspension warning and I'm not 100% sure but I think they know what happened last year the thing is I've come a long way but it just feels like everyone wants to care once you are in pecies and when your not they don't care I don't want to talk about my problems to the school cause then they will start treating me differently and they already are saying to me oh are you going to leave school next year and it's sorta upsetting cause I want to complete school but I don't cause I'm just not getting annything done . And I can't help but remember this comment that was said oh you can't just go to wellbeing and sit there cause you don't wanna go to class you have to actually have a problem and most of the time I have multiple but it's just in my head that no one cares unless something has already happened then it's too late

Lifeless

replies: 4

I’m a 39yrs male. And feeling extremely low. With the end of life thoughts. I wish my head space was stronger. I tried to write a letter to myself on why I should be living. I could only muster one line. I feel like a burden to my tiny amount of friends. With my sad and bad energy. Today I was considering ending my life, escape the unhappiness I’m carrying. I wouldn't leave anyone upset they just have a happier life in place. Which I’m trying to do for myself. im feeling really tired, brain fog with no plan or purpose. quitting life has crossed my mind, but if I can manage to find a job that can support me maybe that can open up new doors. To a happier life My family is not a source of support. They make it worse for me. I don’t want to be another statistic. I’ve called beyond blue twice with really lovely people on the end of the phone. Full of kindness and care. i am doing my best holding myself together.

Suicidal constantly

replies: 249

Hi all. Like others I think of suicide basically constantly. It's like a someone whispering in me ear that I can't stop as my life otherwise is (mostly) ok. I told my parents again but they just said Im an attention seeker that using it as an excuse not to work. That is far from the trust as when I tell them I'm suicidal they laugh and then get angry. It's so difficult as it makes my suicidal thoughts worse but they seem completely oblivious. Anyway stay safe all. Chris

I can't do it, I give up!

replies: 2

Everything is so hard, I've lost so much and dealing with so much also in regards to mental health... Today I feel I'm at my wit's end, the stress and drama is too much, I give up! I'm not made for this world, I don't need to be in it! This isn't me ... View more

First time ECT by scrabbling

replies: 23

Hi to all especially mmMeKitty, the Pages here have changed and I can no longer find our thread and I haven't got the tolerance to spend hours on my phone, so I hope you see this. as I said before the roller coaster has been at Full Speed and it finally came into the station which is Ward and I had to make a decision. I cannot keep going the way I am and the doctors have mentioned a few times in the last 6 months about ECT to be honest it absolutely bloody terrified me, I know we shouldn't assume but I think everyone has seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest!!! certainly didn't help people's perception. I have been drowning for a long time it's been like walking in a thick fog I was desensitized totally to life and unbearably sad and just wanted it all to stop, the staff here on ward have been fantastic and I had my first ECT yesterday I will be honest it wasn't a perfect run, my anxiety exploded as I am awful to cannulate at the best at times but when I'm stressed my veins disappear, so I think I was a bit like "when you give a pill to a cat" and you retrieve it off the curtains and off the back of the couch and from under the bed !!!! that was me, the staff were very patient and finally they managed to get a vein, I woke up with a minor headache and a little bit of shoulder blade soreness none that really wasn't sorted with some Panadol, I did have a sore neck later that night again that went away with just the hot shower, I can't speak for everybody and possibly may even sound stupid but after the treatment I had a snooze for a few hours and I did feel clearer and even if it was briefly a spark (excuse the pun) the old me made a breif appearance, yes the sadness came back in the afternoon and I'm sure I will be having a few more treatments but I had nearly forgotten the old me. So will see how things pan out,

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 92

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

The constant struggle. replies: 280

Scared to tell my GP about self-harm replies: 3

I'm lost in this life, it's beyond understanding. replies: 3

Fighting for my dear life replies: 11

I hate this time of year & everything about my life replies: 161

New school and mental health 😫 replies: 2

Lifeless replies: 4

Suicidal constantly replies: 249

I can't do it, I give up! replies: 2

First time ECT by scrabbling replies: 23