Welcome to the forums and thank you for posting here.
I understand it can be tricky to make the first post and good on you for having the courage to come here in the first place. I'm 24 and currently suffering from depression, anxiety and lying somewhere on the borderline personality spectrum.
Did you want to share how you're feeling at the moment? It sounds like you're a bit confused whether your thoughts are "normal" or not. I'm not sure what they are, but I don't think there's really such thing as "normal" or not...only difficult to cope with, or not.
We'd love to help you and I hope you feel safe here. Everyone here is very kind and supportive.
Let us know what is going on with these thoughts of yours,so we can then help you. Geoff.
Hi Crabby, great question...like Geoff & James mentioned 'normal' is really a broad general term.
Just for me the word is meaningless as I have never met a 'normal' person in my life.
If you wish to share anymore you are more than welcome. The forums are rock solid secure and we are a judgement free zone too 🙂
My kind thoughts for you...thankyou for posting too!
Hey crabby, sorry about the late reply.
It's great that you enjoy you're own company, but it does sound like you're carrying a bit of weight from your past.
Without knowing you, it's probably not my place to comment, but I think there's usually a reason for feeling like we haven't achieved what we wanted to, and rarely is that actually a character flaw. More typically, it's because we had different priorities or emotional stress (that we didn't understand), and all of a sudden we turn around and we don't like what we see. But the most important thing is to recognise that we are where we are, and all we can do is decide how to keep moving forwards. To me, you've already done heaps by coming here in the first place and I think that deserves a real congratulations. It's tough opening up to strangers especially for someone, like yourself, who doesn't usually do this.
I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of people here including myself also keep our feelings close. For me, I worry about how others will treat me if I open up. Not because I think they'll be mean, but because I think it'll make the conversation uncomfortable and about me, but I don't want that. So I absolutely understand what you mean by being happy on the outside but no one ever seeing what's on the inside.
But more recently I have been opening up and I really can't emphasise just how helpful it has been. You'll be surprised about how many people have struggled with mental illnesses and just feeling "abnormal". Where I am, it's a lot more acceptable now and, even though you'll get the odd person who's just plain rude, most people are at least accepting if not understanding.
You mentioned you've been reading up about bipolar which has gotten me wondering whether you've been feeling some of those depressive symptoms. I think it's good to be aware of what you feel, but it's best to leave the diagnosis and treatment to the professionals. Do you have a good GP you can talk to about this? You can also tell us how you feel as well. It helps sometimes to get those thoughts out.
I think it's also really important to have other support as well like friends or family if possible. Otherwise, there's always the BeyondBlue support line on 1300 22 4636.
Of course, I'd love to hear more from you as well so please feel free to keep posting when you feel comfortable.
My kindest thoughts
Thank you James for your comments. Are you clairvoyant or something? I haven't been back for a while because i seem to get on top of how i am feeling for a while and then the swamp seems to fill with alligators and then some one starts to drain it.
I was unsure how this forum works and thought the response time would be quicker so went and did my own thing as well. unfortunately i am not confident in talking to the people around me about this because i am afraid of their reaction of "he's a loonie" because that is still very prevalent in our town. from the general readings i think i am just a normal under to much self pressure, that tends to get out side of me. the bipolar referance was because of my mood swings from Adrenalin hi to balling my eyes out lows but not self destructive. Probably that is my real question. do others feel this way as well?
Im sorry that your town still has the silly mentality of 'he's a loonie' That is sad. I actually feel sorry for them.
The overflow of adrenaline can make us more over alert and 'jumpy' to anything. I feel the same way Crabby
I have had bad anxiety for about 13 years and now depression, including the mega hi's and bad lows....I am lucky as I have a crackerjack GP who helped me with some meds that help me out big time.
you are not on your own here Crabby
Hi Crabby and welcome.
Yes, I get like that at times. I can be out and about, feeling happy and then I get home and I feel down and moody or sad. Music does trigger memories and certain feelings, we remember what we were doing and feeling at the time the song came out. I love 80's music and it does trigge something in me. I was a teenager in a the 80's I was happy but depressed at times. Particular songs do stir things up, I was also very lonely at that time.
if you are concerned a visit to your gp would be good.
Hope to hear how it all goes