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What is honesty and how does it affect your mental health?

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

I want to discuss what honesty means to you and your health.

People say that they fake being well, or wear a mask so no one knows their pain.Is this being honest.

When we do not admit our flaws and our behaviours does this make it harder to have insight into our illness and harder to get better?

Do we need to be honest with ourselves and others in order to be well.?

Honesty can be a very subjective personal word. What one people feels is being honest another may feel is not.

For many years I was in denial about my illness so I would admit to myself I was ill, I was not honest.

So what does honesty mean to you? So lets start a conversation. All ideas welcome.

Everyone is welcome to comment, new posters, regular posters, I want everyone's ideas.

Quirky

213 Replies 213

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Q 😊

I think its important to be honest at least with ourselves.

Telling friends how deep it goes I do but kinda in general sense, too much to put on anyone, its a down to them so yes mask when Im down usually and you're right a mask isnt being honest but... sparing people

Honesty in ourselves yes I think we need to be aware of both our goods and bads, usually in depression we dont like ourselves so seeing our goods is important and bad points need work on so yeah honesty.

Thanks for another good thread Quirky 😊

Enjoy your break

Tc (take care

giggles
Community Member

Gee Quirkyword thanks for the opening of this one. Thought provoking for sure. I know l have always expected everyone is telling the truth but now l am older my experience has taught me this is not the case. Always worried when others say,’lets me be honest’ ha so what was going on before that! So for me honesty is admiting to urself first why something does not feel right then if and big if l can do something about it l will. I could not just stop a job because something was bugging me l could not control. I use to get another one instead.

I have also learnt not to apply guilt with my illnesses if someone else is upset with me for say not wishing to do something then surely its on them not me.

I do not believe l have purposely lied to anyone but l have uncovered how l believed what l was taught to discover l did not actually believe alot of the concepts hense the letting go of old stuff. That is personal Obviously to how people see things. I know l honestly do not wish to have any of my illnesses but l do and l honestly do my best everyday. I have nothing to prove to anyone.

Honesty is very much alive in us l kinda feel it sits there waiting to be acknowledge then awoken for the individual to work out for themselves, or with help however that appears for them.

Giggles

Hello all

Thanks for your comments and for reading to new thread,

DB, I agree there is a shade of honesty when we want to protect people but I wonder if many people have a mask and dont reveal their pain how will we know how we are really feeling?

You are right depression distorts our truth and we see everything through a negative perspective which we view as being honest but which we know later is distortion. Thanks again for taking time to contribute.

Giggles, what a lovely name,

Thanks foryour comment. That is true when people say to be perfectfullyhonest or trust me, you wonder why they have to say it and you are wary hat they will say next.

I agree that honesty to oneself and trying to work out what does not feel right is important.

I think that as you say our concept of honesty can changes as our beliefs change and once I honestly believed I did not have bipolar and did not need help but now that has changed.

Giggles you have given us much to think about and I am interested as to what other people have to say about what Giggles, DB and myself have said.

Quirky

Thanks Quirky ☺

Yeah Giggles I smile every time I see that name its lovely πŸ˜€

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

The question is "how are you?"

Depending on my mood I would answer in a number of ways.

The first is "OK" or "I'm good". I may or may not be masking how I was really feeling.

The second response is "Ummm... I'm..." "OK... I think". or similar. This is a clue for other person to inquire a bit further. And means I am not 100% present.

There are other responses, but the one where I can stymie people is when I reply "that depends on whether you want a real answer or not".

We tend to gloss over how we are feeling, for whatever reason. Whether it be guilt or embarrassed, to be that odd person out who reveals their true self, is frowned upon. At the same time, I can speak openly and honestly to my psych. I can now (mostly) speak honestly with my support person(s).

In relation to MH, we probably don't admit to it because you are then the odd one out. Yet if you speak openly about it with other people, they will admit to similar problems. When I told some people about seeing a psych because of ..... they said that were on medication for X, Y or Z. Similarily with parents and other family friends. It we are honest with ourselves, we should be able to speak about it honestly without fear of being perceived as the CRAZY one, because that is how "we" might be perceived in the media. And because you cannot see it (MH), then does it really exist? We know it does, but it is not evident to those around us if they see us smiling.

But if we can be honest with at least our GP or psych, we have chance of making it to other side. Additionally, in being honest with your GP etc. means they get a true-er picture of you, and can prescribe the correct medication, whatever that might be. In being totally honest with my psych. means that we can examine the real issues rather then skirting around the margins.

Hello everyone,

Hi smallwolf, thanks for your interesting post.

I agree when you open up people are likely to tell you they or someone they know is seing a psych or has depression et. By being honest we low others to be honest too.

Being honest with our psychs mean we can unravel the deeper issues.

Quirky

Hey Smallwolf

Ditto came to mind with ur post. I have always felt that mask of social standings but must admit it has very solid foundations. However when my depression is what l call rampant l truly do not want to play the game so quite simply l don’t. Meds bring me back to working what l need to work u know going somewhere etc.

I guess it comes down to knowing how to work ur system amongst everyone elses. Is it just me or did u see that as funny too?

Thanks for comments Db and quirky

giggles

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion
I guess that what I was trying to say, is that a question like "how are you" is really (?) just a throw away statement, perhaps to start a conversation or create the illusion of a conversation. Mostly we say we are ok or good. But if you really look at those three small words, the question can actually be much stronger/deeper than intended. But who wants to go there in the great unknown

Hello all

Giggles thanks for your comment.

I think you are right to need to work out if you are perceiving things the same way other people do. No one sees things in the same way.

Smallwolf thanks for the comment. I think the rods how are you in some ways are throw away lines- do people reall want to know how one is? If you have been honest with a stranger when they asked ow are you- they will change the topic.

Some future start with talking about the weather nit asking ho you are.

Thanks small wolf your comments are welcome and interesting.

Quirk