I really have the question: "do you have any support around you? Family? Friends?"
Because my answers always "What family? What friends?"
I grew up knowing my mother, my half sister, my brother, my nana, my Nan and my pop. All on my mum's side. I barely know my father, I only remember seeing him maybe a handful of times. And my father's parents are just names.
It's sad because for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted a huge family. Uncle's, aunts, cousins, grandparents, extended family. I wanted to have 4 kids so one day I'll be this little old lady surrounded by a large family of my own making(I can dream!).
There's nothing I can do to change my family though. Except for the part where I have 4 kids and hopefully be that happily little old lady surrounded by her huge family.
As for friends though..
I had many friends in primary school, I counted everyone as a friends, I got along with pretty much everyone.
High school came around and my close circle from primary school started breaking up, going their own way. But I was sitting there wanting it to be us still because they were my everything. Rumours started that one hated the other but they were friends on the outside. I ended up having enough of the lies and games so I was the one to befriend them. Gotta love teenage drama.
Ever since then though I've found it very difficult to form lasting friendships.
That's when I went to uni and met my former best friend.
We got along really well, called each other soul sisters, we had the best times together. That was until she couldn't put up with my severe lows. The most recent being about 3 weeks ago, which is now why she's the former best friend.
Apart from that, I have one person I talk to regularly at the moment. That person being someone who thinks were going to be in a relationships(I very much do not want a relationship). Other than that I have 3 people who check in from time to time.
It's lonely, it's draining, I hate it. I'm human, I need to be social. I really wish there was a tinder for friendships. Put in your interests and find people with the same interests. Would be amazing.
So how do you deal with the loneliness? How do you make friends?
All I can think is that it MUST get better once I'm employed and working regularly right?
