Yes, I reckon we’ve all had that feeling that life would be better if we were like our neighbour with that shiny new car, boat, jet ski and caravan, holidays every summer in their holiday house. Truth be known we don’t know how their life is away from our earshot, we don’t know their level of debt or their income constraints. And we don’t know of their relationship battles nor physical and mental struggles. Many have masks.
I was always jealous of my school buddy. He was a straight A student and became an engineer. I joined the RAAF to be a pilot but never got there and eventually made my way in security and investigations. My friend ended up running his own company with a turnover in excess of 10 million a year, very rich. Two years ago he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. So far he has defied the surgeons by 12 months….prognosis isn’t good. Now, is the grass greener? Nope.
Another friend has mild anxiety. From my viewpoint mild anxiety can seem…well….mild. I’ve had extreme anxiety, panic attacks and additional things like bipolar, depression and dysthymia. I have to remind myself that his anxiety to him is life effective, that it’s a major problem. Comparing isn’t a good thing to do. It’s not a competition.
So in reality the “grass greener” syndrome is an illusion. It’s a way of us telling ourselves that we are unlucky and “they have a better life and I want that life” when all along instead of feeling less successful of what we don’t have, we’d be far better off appreciating what we do have.
My first wife and I were poor. We were paying off an old run down 110 year old house. I purchased a lotto ticket for $2. An old wise lady next door said “that $2 could have bought a litre of milk for your kids”. I haven’t purchased a lotto ticket since. That was 25 years ago. Value every dollar earned. Listen to the wise.
But the ultimate of humility and reverse of the greener grass obsession was a cousin of mine that visited aged care homes playing music and singalongs. So many of those residents told him they wished they were his age (40yo). He passed away with throat cancer. None of them knew. The grass wasn’t greener for those residents, it wasn’t even green over the fence.
We should value the shade of green of our own lawn and value what we have. We focus on our challenges as they need endurance. But its not all bad.
Mental illness can give you creativity, adventure, depth of emotion that leads to music and poetry....green indeed.
Tony WK
